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Old 06-28-2010, 05:40 PM   #41 (permalink)
MSD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.
And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:35 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD View Post
And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.
That's bullshit! I spent like 147 seconds making my chromosome slide and I didn't get a word of credit. Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>
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Old 06-30-2010, 10:03 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cimarron29414 View Post
Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>
Carrot Top?
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Old 06-30-2010, 11:20 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!
I prefer Gallagher.
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Old 06-30-2010, 11:41 AM   #45 (permalink)
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A man should not call a woman "crabby" (as in grumpy), even if he was joking.
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Old 06-30-2010, 11:42 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Hah! I do it all the time. I also use the dreaded phrase, "Hey, just relax."

...

Cimarron, didn't scientists recently have issues with "The Decline of the Y in the XY" or something? I read about in Time magazine or something.
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Old 07-05-2010, 02:46 AM   #47 (permalink)
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How about this one I heard from years ago: men can't lean their head agaist a wall, pick up a chair and then stand up - but women can. Anyone remeber that one?
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:20 AM   #48 (permalink)
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Jump in lava.
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:06 AM   #49 (permalink)
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^ Unless you have a power star.

*****

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
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Quote:
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In my own personal experience---this is just anecdotal, mind you---I have found that there is always room to be found between boobs.
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:21 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
  • morning wood
  • post-coitus
  • not wearing your glasses
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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:46 AM   #51 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.
that made me laugh. Thanks BG... (a dude secure in his manliness).

---------- Post added at 01:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:42 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel_ View Post
....


I generally shave in the shower, so spend over five minutes there. I like long showers.
How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.


??

---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun View Post
Do you just try and troll as much as possible?


Can somebody explain the concept of trolling to me? Is it posting in a provokative manner?
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:44 AM   #52 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:47 AM   #53 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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Old 07-05-2010, 11:17 AM   #54 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:49 PM   #55 (permalink)
Insane
 
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A man should not limit himself based on gender stereotypes.
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:10 AM   #56 (permalink)
Groovy Hipster Nerd
 
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Location: Michigan
Fight a gorilla.
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Old 07-06-2010, 09:31 AM   #57 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
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Location: Oregon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.
My SO had the sitting-down-to-pee habit already when we met. He claims that while it is convenient to be able to stand and pee, why wouldn't you sit down to pee if you could? It's a nice rest, he says. I like it because he doesn't make a mess.
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Old 07-06-2010, 09:39 PM   #58 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Men should not take their truck into the shop to get it worked on at 10:30am, when they promised their girlfriend to help move a couch from craigslist at 11:00am. Period.
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Old 07-06-2010, 10:26 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Location: Southern England
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leto View Post

How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.
I don't use a mirror!

After several decades of owning my face, I can shave it without looking.
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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 07-06-2010, 10:28 PM   #60 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl Trade View Post
Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.

I do.

I enjoy reading as much and as often as I can. I always have a book in the bathroom that I read only when I'm in there.

If I go in to piss, I'll sit down, crack open my book, read a page, and be done.

I've read a ton of books that way. Always have read whenever I'm on the toilet. Just seems like the best way to spend that otherwise pointless time.
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:27 AM   #61 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Somewhere... Across the sea...
Just a quick swipe of your finger on the soap, then the mirror, no fog.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:28 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
I find this thread wildly entertaining.

Do I have something to contribute at the moment, though?

- "A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."
- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."
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Old 07-13-2010, 04:04 PM   #63 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetée View Post
- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."
You should check it every other time you get gas, but I don't think anyone even makes cars with a 3000 mile oil interval anymore. Mine is 5000 miles, and BMW does 12000
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Old 07-13-2010, 04:21 PM   #64 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe View Post
Be raped by a woman?
been there, done that...

or, rather, had that done to me...
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
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We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
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-----------------------------------------
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Old 07-13-2010, 05:01 PM   #65 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetée View Post
"A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."
Yes. But a woman can!


It puts the lotion on it's skin!! It puts the lotion on it's fucking skin!!
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