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Old 12-20-2003, 05:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How do get treated as an adult?

I'm 5"4, 24 years old but I look like I am 17 years old. Thus I look fairly young for my age. I dress and act like a mature young adult. I'm tired of always being treated as a kid or someone's little brother. This also makes it difficult to talk to women my age who actually look their age or girls who are a few years younger because they I'm younger than them. It's very frustrating. Any advice on anything I can do?
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Old 12-20-2003, 06:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It's all about attitude for me. If a guy acts like a youngster, I treat him like one. If he acts like he's 24, I'll treat him that way. I tend to notice people before I talk to them though, so I see how they act before actually meeting them...
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Old 12-20-2003, 06:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What do you consider an adult attitude?
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Old 12-20-2003, 07:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Well, I'm a small guy myself and if I'm clean shaven I look about 15. The main thing I did to make myself seem more like an adult was to dress like one. Now this may sound odd but it's true. At a certain age people have to stop wearing Abercrombie & Fitch and move onto more tasteful clothes. Now, I'm not saying you dress bad 'cause for all I know you wear a suit everyday. But just keep it in mind.
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Old 12-21-2003, 01:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It's tough, and I really don't have any advice to give you....I've always looked about 6-10 years older than I really am.

Personally, I think I'd rather be in your shoes. Just think: when you're 35, you're gonna' look like you're still in your 20's!
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Old 12-21-2003, 07:47 AM   #6 (permalink)
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personally i dont think there is very much you can do but suck it up. i get no respect like yourself. im 26 and look years younger. lucky for me i already have a women. if its only with women you would like to date then try a different venue. if you have this certain look you go after instead of hitting them up at a bar try a cafe or something. unfortunately looks are the first connection between people.
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Old 12-21-2003, 04:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Mustache and beard, if you can grow one. If your beard hair is wispy or sparse, though, don't even bother; that makes it worse, not better.

King is right about dress. Dress more adult, more formally, more like you mean business. I know, you shouldn't have to, few others your age are doing so, but who says life is fair?

I knew a guy who wore a suit or sportcoat every day of his life, nicely-trimmed mustache and goatee, from the age of 18. He was a good talker, too, very witty. So it didn't matter that he lived at home with his parents until he was 35 and didn't hold a job -- God's truth -- he still had all the women he could handle.
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Old 12-21-2003, 06:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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attitude is 100% of it. Dress is included in that attitude.

at 14 I was already meeting with people as peers in business. It's all about being able to give and receive respect. I dressed well as a 14 year old. I kept my shoes shiny, my shirts and pants pressed, because it made the difference of looking on the ball.
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Old 12-21-2003, 07:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Maybe I'm doing something wrong with my attitude. Can you guys describe the kind of attitude that will help people perceive more as an adult?
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Old 12-21-2003, 08:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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in my experience I am always serious. I joke around alot, but work is work and play is play. There is little mixing of the two.

I am a serious person when I'm working. I don't mess around, I don't goof around. I let people know that I'm being serious and expect results that I expect and nothing less.
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Old 12-22-2003, 12:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Cynthetiq nailed it. I've always been taken seriously by adults because I act mature (well, when I need to ) and serious. I'm 21 (look about 18) and have no problem talking to middle aged people about business stuff and, sometimes after some initial skepticism, being taken seriously. A big part of it is that I've been working since I was 13, so I have a lot of experience interacting with adults and knowing how they behave as opposed to my peers.
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Old 12-22-2003, 05:36 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Well I act quite mature, a lot more than I say for people my age. Most of my friends are older than me, late 20's early 30s. Yet I get treated differently.
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Old 12-23-2003, 09:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by wry1
Personally, I think I'd rather be in your shoes. Just think: when you're 35, you're gonna' look like you're still in your 20's!
My thoughts exactly!
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Old 12-23-2003, 06:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
Maybe I'm doing something wrong with my attitude. Can you guys describe the kind of attitude that will help people perceive more as an adult?
those who act "more mature" in my mind tend to do the following:
  • appropriate language. despite the media perception, very few folks cuss a blue streak. the more mature people that i know can eloquently express themselves without having to resort to profanity. it also has the added benefit of giving that occasional oath that much more force.
  • educated language. in other words, "sup homeeeeeey" would be replaced with "hi, how are you?" nothing in my mind speaks maturity than someone with a firm command of the english language and grammar. in addition, eloquence and clear speech does wonders.
  • self confidance. this is a toughie, cause you can only really get it through the experience of living. however, if you want to start to appear poised, you'll have to concentrate on finding and eliminating nervous habits like clenched teeth, shoulders, nail biting, fidgeting, and so on. act relaxed, be relaxed, and (when appropriate) smile easily.
  • dress. it has been mentioned, but a button-down shirt over a sweatshirt will help. clean-cut hair (short if you're a guy) helps immensely.
  • not self-centered. subtle, but i consider a more mature person one who asks questions about me instead of prattling on about themselves in a conversation. while talking about themselves is okay, they don't go on and on and on - a short story is about it before giving the floor up to someone else. and while we're at it....
  • good conversation skills. look people in the eye, don't stare (alternate which eye you look at several times), speak as clearly as you can. allow your voice to have some emotion, but don't go nuts. self-control is key here.
it takes practice - i honestly don't think i started being mature until well out of college.
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Old 12-28-2003, 02:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
Well I act quite mature, a lot more than I say for people my age. Most of my friends are older than me, late 20's early 30s. Yet I get treated differently.
Jynx mentions some good points above. Sometimes how you feel is how you are perceived.

My suggestion is to not worry about it. Just be who you are and things will work out for YOU. When you try to force things they tend to end up working out other ways.

I've always looked much younger than I really am. I'm in my late 40s now and people are surprised I am over 40. I think it's great. My wife is the same way. She was looking to replace a damaged wedding album with our then 19 year old son several years ago. The clerk at the store wanted to know when they were getting married! My son was disgusted and my wife was quite pleased.

Older people kill to look younger. Pay the price now and you may enjoy the fruits later!!
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Old 12-30-2003, 06:25 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I'm sorry - but if you're only 24, I wouldn't expect everyone to treat you like an adult. Wait until you're near 30 until people call you sir. Just because you're old enough to drink doesn't automatically qualify you as an 'adult'.
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Old 01-04-2004, 07:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I'm 33, but I look 22. Nobody, including me, even believes that I'm 33. I use to hate being stuck in that "Michael J. Fox" thing (where he is older than he looked). The women my age look "old" and the girls I look compatible with are 10-12 years younger than me. The way I see it is that I'll settle down in my 40's with a hot girl in her 20's.

As for being treated like an adult, I agree. I use proper grammar and am polite when I address another person. The way you conduct yourself is the way others perceive you.

Last edited by Splice; 01-04-2004 at 07:55 PM..
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Old 01-10-2004, 09:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm not exactly religious or any thing, but I do believe that Jesus said it best. Loosely, "Treat others as you would have them treat you."

It's called the Golden Rule.
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Old 01-10-2004, 11:14 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I just turned 20 yesterday and when people found out they were said to me "What? I thought you'd've turned 20 a few years ago!" Admittedly I do act a lot older than the people my age generally do, I feel I'm a lot more cultured and have far more interesting hobbies, unlike those my age who seem to believe that getting "wasted" or "trashed" is something to write home about.

The way you speak is highly influential upon how you are treated, avoid using words such as 'like', example: "Like he looked pretty bad.", 'pretty', in that context, is another word to shy away from. Slang and coloquilsm will do you no good in your endevour to be treated as an adult.

Good day to you sir!

Last edited by Mr.Deflok; 01-10-2004 at 11:38 PM..
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Old 01-11-2004, 01:17 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Tucson, AZ
If you look like your 17 then bang some 17-18 year old chicas. You'll always have chicks like 5-10 years younger than you? What's so bad about that?
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