NoSoup

Well, I woudn't normally post this, but I figure I could use some feedback just in case I miss something...

Alright, here is my situation -

I am currently 20 years old, I went to a tech school for a bit, decided it wasn't for me, and quit.

Instead, I concentrated on my career. Within the last couple of years, I have been promoted/changed jobs and now I am about to step into an opportunity that it seems I have been waiting my whole life for.

I was just offered a job at the most prestigious mortgage brokerage firm in this area. They dominate all competition, and as a result, have the highest paid brokers in this part of the state. Their lowest mortgage broker make 118k last year. The highest make just a hair under 500k. I have exceptional sales abilities, and feel that I probably would fall somewhere in the middle, even though it is my first year. The market is just perfect right now, so I am really looking forward to starting.

"The Plan" - Purchase enough real estate, and pay it off to generate a minimum of 50k a year net. I hope to accomplish this by the time I am 30, so I can live life how it is supposed to be lived...

"The Complications" - As I will be straight commission, I won't have a paycheck for a few (probably 2) months. I have enough money saved up to support myself without a problem, however...
My roomate was recently fired from his job, and now my savings will be supporting both of us. Unfortunately, he neglected to tell me that he was late on a couple of bills (we each pay certain things) and so I have to pay out quite an assload of money to bring him up to date. He was fired a week ago, and has yet to fill out an application - I realize I could simply move out, but he is my best friend and I want to do whatever I can to help him. Unfortunately, I had assumed that losing his pretty poor job would give him a wake-up call, and he would start to think about the future... which doesn't seem to be the case. I hate asking him if he has filled out applications, I have gone as far as offering to take him places to get them, but he says he can't think of anywhere to apply. I feel like his mother - instead of his friend.
It is frustrating that he now has no job, no school, no obligations and when I leave for work, he is sleeping on the couch, when I return from work, he is still sleeping on the couch....

Basically, I don't want to damage our friendship, nor do I want to kick him out. Had he any savings or at the very least been caught up with bills I certainly wouldn't have had a problem with him taking a bit off, but as the situation is, I don't see it as warranted.

"The Question" - I am not really sure how to approach this situation. I have talked with him several times, and each time he has a (lame) excuse as to why he didn't fill out any applications. I don't think either of us was surprised by him being fired, so it wasn't completely unexpected. I want him to succeed in life, but he just doesn't seem to want to. Any suggestions as to how to get him motivated? Real life wake-up calls don't seem to be doing it for him...

Thanks for your input -

NoSoup

djtestudo

I'd explain your situation to him, and let him know that, if he can't find someway to pay his bills, you will have to kick him out and get a new roommate.

Is there anyone he could borrow money from to pay these bills, such as a parent or another friend? If that is the main problem, since you say that you could support both of you for a little while otherwise, suggest it to him.

Just make sure he knows your problem, so that if it comes to you kicking him out, he knows that it is his fault.

__________________
"Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen."
--Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun

NoSoup

True, and I think he realized that it certainly may come to that point... but -

Money comes and goes, and good friends are hard to come by...

I am more concerned with his attitude towards life, at the current rate, he'll end up somewhere I don't think he wants to be.

I fear that maybe we have grown apart with our different interests/goals, and I am maybe clinging onto the bond we once had. We seldom really hang out anymore, he doesn't really do anything except play around on his computer. I am under the impression that he doesn't like his life as it stands, but he seems unwilling to do anything at all to improve it...

iccky

I feel you man. This is one reason I don't like to have very good friends as roommates. My current roommates owe me several hundred dollars in bills, one of them I don't mind being a hard ass to, the other I'm closer with and thus have a harder time demanding money from. But clearly your situation is a lot more serious.

You might give him another week to see if he snaps out of it. Some people don't deal well with losing jobs, and he might just need a little time to deal with the situation himself. But if that doesn't work I'd just sit down with him and tell him what you've told us. Tell him that as a friend you're worried about the way his life is headed and that you suspect he's not too happy about it either. Tell him you're willing to help him out for awhile, but not if it just makes you an enabeler of his slow downward spiral. Try to be as friendly and non-confrontational as possible (no one likes being talked down to) but let him know how you feel.

Rodney

I also think you ought to be concerned about his attitude toward other people, in this case you. He's so wrapped up in himself that he's not seeing your situation; he just thinks somebody's going to take care of him, as they always have. He needs to learn otherwise; I understand why you don't want to be the one who teaches him, because you don't want to lose his friendship and of course you're afraid he'll do the easy thing (as he has so far in all other ways) and blame you.

So all you can do is sit down with him and lay it out. Make him see what position he's put you in explain it to him carefully, and tell him what you need him to do. That's all you can do, and hope for the best. And if it doesn't work out, you have to do what you have to do. If he blames you, that's his problem -- literally. You don't want to mess up this chance.