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Old 11-14-2004, 03:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: England
sticky situation concerning living arrangements

hi

i'm just throwing this out there to see if anyone has any suggestions.

i'm at uni. have been for 8 weeks now. i'm in uni accommodation until hune, then i move out in to ahouse with housemates that we have to find ourselves, pay for etc. well apparently all the decent houses go soon after christmas so i've been looking at who i'd like to live with next year. i have a group of 3 other guys who i've made decent friends with and i'd be happy living with them. the problem is this, however:

a few weeks ago i was at a pub with my housemate and he was just like "yeah well we'll have to start looking for houses soon, you and me, make sure we gtet the best one". i was foolish enough not to say "well i havent decided who i'm moving in with now". i DO NOT want to live with this guy. he's a complete slob. his room is a trie mess but that's his business. the kitchen is mine though and he never ever washes up unless another housemate tells him to. he also takes my cooking things without asking and either doesnt rreturn them or leaves them for me to wash up, and he takes peoples food. i'm not about to spend more years living with him.

now the guys i do want to move in with are all "yeah i dont care if he moves in with us or not". i'm positive they do mind but as they know im so against the idea they are saying they dont mind so as to make me be the one to get rid of him and they can all be the "well we wanted you in our house but that bastard was dead against it" guys.


i dont know how to make him look elsewhere. the subject was brought up today and i kept saying "well i havent decidded who i want to move in with yet" but he just seems to ignore it.


It's early days yet but if anyone has any suggestions on how i can make him look elsewhere or how i can somehow get a house without him. So far the only way i can think of is going "i dont want to live with you" but that isnt really going to allow us to be friends afterwards...


Cheers
klep is offline  
Old 11-14-2004, 04:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Tell him the truth, give him your reasons.

If you don't tell someone what they do that bothers you, it doesn't give them the opportunity to change. If you haven't said anything to him, then you are accepting his behavior and he doesn't realize he's doing anything that bugs you.
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Old 11-14-2004, 06:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Rochester, NY
If you don't want to confront him with the situation (which i would recommend doign for the reasons maleficent stated) then you can always say you decided to move in with a few guys who already have a house and arrangements are all set up, and its full.
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Old 11-14-2004, 06:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
People aren't good mindreaders, Klep. If you don't tell them there's a problem, they don't know.
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Old 11-15-2004, 06:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Dallas, Tx
first off your a guy so drop the drama and just tell him your gonna live somewhere else.
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Old 11-15-2004, 06:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Mention that for the sake of sanity you never brought it up whilst living as a group. Now that you have a choice, you CHOOSE to live with people who are more neat. If he doesn't get it and change his habits, just find another bunch to move in with.

That and lace your food with laxative. Teach the bastard.
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Old 11-15-2004, 10:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You have a few options....

Tell the others exactly what you posted here about his cleanliness and desire to assist in household chores. See if they still want him around. If they do, make sure you set rules that everyone must follow or face eviction from the apartment by a majority vote of the other people. Tell him up front that unless he cleans, buys his own food (and doesn't steal others), and generally helps out everywhere, he will be on the street.
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