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Old 12-29-2004, 06:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What's wrong with living at home?? cont from prev posting

I'm 20 I live at home. I have car. I don't fully understand americans even though I'm an american. Whats wrong with parents not buying their kids cars assuming their parents have enough to pay for it?? Or anything for that matter.

"Oh son, ur gonna pay for this and that even if I have enough to pay for it... You'll be in debt, but so what... u'll eventually pay it off ... go get a job...move out... don't ask me for money... "

-i mean what the heck is this? ha, i'll be surprised if their kids gonna be finacially stable soon....

My parents are so cool. I'm not spoiled but they pay for everything so long as I get a good grades and even if I don't, they are still cool .

Yet, I'm not a bad kid, nope... I'm good.. not goodie goodie. you know what I mean. I don't do none of that stuff. What's wrong with some American families where everything is totally non-communal????

My family is so Communal. You can become very rich this way u know... (I'm not rich, not poor either, I'm middle class) but anyways

I like to hear feed back on this ...
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Old 12-29-2004, 08:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I think parents want to see their children succeed on their own. Not all kids are as thankful as you; some take advantage of their parents' generosity.
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Old 12-29-2004, 08:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sometimes it's not up to the parents.

I choose to be independent of my parents. Living at home and having them own your items means they have a certain level of control over you, whether it is implied or not. We (my wife and I) want to live my own lives, and this means we seperate ourselves from our parents.
I barely want to talk to my parents, much less live with them!

But hey, that's just me. If you are comfortable with your life and are happy, then F everybody and what they think of you and your lifestyle. I guess that's some more of my independent thinking coming out.
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Old 12-29-2004, 08:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My parents allowed me to stay at home as long as I wanted so I took advantage of the situation and save some money. Along the way, they paid for my food and didn't charge me rent. However, they refused to buy me other stuff like a car (or pay my insurance). It had nothing to do with being bad parents, exactly the opposite. They taught me how to budget my money and slowly introduced me into tracking my money and spending wisely. I am now live on my own and run my own household. I manage my money, pay my bills on time and I am not in debt, all because my parents took the time to teach me how to live instead of living for me.

Keep in mind that there may be other circumstances involved which you are not aware of. Are these other kids "good kids" like you? Do these kids need to learn some life lessons? Yes, there are some parents out there who have the kids then count the days until they can be legally forced out. Those are the kids I feel sorry for.
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I think my parents have the mentality that it's their money, they can do whatever they want with it, why should they give you money just because you're their kid? Whereas I think that because they willingly chose to raise a kid, they should be responsible for him/her financially until at least they have a job.
But it's selfishness either way you look at it.
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Old 01-04-2005, 02:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm friends with people who moved out of the house right after high school and I'm friends with people who have yet to leave home in their late 20s. It isn't uncommon at all for a 20 year old to live with his parents these days.

I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm Joe-stereotypical-American-college-student with regards to the housing situation...lodging at school when classes are in session, go back to the parents' for winter and summer break. It's all on their bill, though, so I consider myself in training for real self-sufficiency when I'm up at college living without their direct interaction but under a roof that they've provided. I'm not going to push for an income I can live off on my own until I've at least got my undergraduate degree.
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Old 01-04-2005, 07:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If they're not controlling I don't see any problem with living at home to save some money. In my situation my parents wanted me to pay rent along with car insurance not to mention they were controlling. So I was like fuck that. It took me a while to get out though.
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Old 01-04-2005, 07:46 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallsauce
I think my parents have the mentality that it's their money, they can do whatever they want with it, why should they give you money just because you're their kid? Whereas I think that because they willingly chose to raise a kid, they should be responsible for him/her financially until at least they have a job.
But it's selfishness either way you look at it.
Selfishness on the part of the offspring, yes.

Your parents are responsible for you until you are age 18, and that's it. It's up to them to teach the offspring self-sufficiency, if they haven't, well they haven't done their job as a parent.

It's not the god-given right of an offspring to have a car, if tehy want one, they can go out and buy one, get a job to pay for it. If you want the car, you need to insure it, why on earth should the parents pay for the insurance on the car they the offspring doesnt need. Anyone who is out of high school, and lives at home and doesn't pay rent... Needs to do some serious evaluating of how responsible they are in their life. Parent's should ask for rent, it should be offered by the offspring.
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Old 01-04-2005, 09:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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If your parents do/pay for everything for you, where do you learn financial responsibility? How are you supposed to learn if you are hand fed everything?

You say you're not spoiled, yet your post reeks of spoiledness. You say that if your parents have the money, they should pay. That doesn't sound spoiled to you? My parents taught me to get a job and actually earn what I wanted. They taught me many things by making me pay for my own things. And besides, it's your parents' job to TRAIN you, not give you whatever you want. I am MUCH better off because my parents DIDN'T give me everything I wanted, but instead taught me how to earn it for myself.

EDIT: sorry if my post sounds a little aggressive, I wasn't trying to be an asshole... I'm not saying you're spoiled or anything, but that way of thinking seems kinda spoiled, at least to me.

Last edited by Carn; 01-04-2005 at 01:01 PM..
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Old 01-04-2005, 11:09 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Learning to carry your own weight is the only way society as a whole can function.

Either you are carrying your own weight, or you are dragging down someone else. Do you know how much a car is worth? Do you understand how hard you have to work in order to maintain an 'adequit' quality of life? Quite probably not.

Either you will live out your entire life on your parent's dole, or you will one day be forced to carry yourself, or you will find someone else to carry you. Starting to carry yourself, learning the cost of things, and understanding what 'being productive' means is important if you want to be able to carry yourself.

Yes, it is easy to live off your parents largess. Possibly you can live your entire life leaching off your folks productive efforts. I'd be too proud to do this, personally.

On the greedy, self-serving side, learning how to carry your own weight will allow you to live well in the short term, and your folks will eventually croak, and every penny of theirs you didn't spend you can inherit! =p~ Plus, chicks dig men who aren't living in their parent's basement.

Amoung my circle of old-high-school friends, one of them is living with a relative (aunt) as he searches for perminate job, and everyone else is living on their own, and I suspect self-supporting. When I was your age, most of my high school buddies where in school. Half of them where living with their folks, half of them where in student housing -- none owned a car -- and a few where employed, with the start of a family going.

Your goal should be to become self supporting. Ideally your parents should want to support you more than you want to be supported -- it is time for you to prepare to cut the apron strings.
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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So, cosmic, what's your credit rating?
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Old 01-05-2005, 07:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
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if your parents are middle-class, then they prolly have their own debt--why should they go into debt (perhaps further) to buy you a car (or anything else)? most middle-class americans are in debt, regardless of age. i certainly wouldn't expect my parents to go into debt (further) in order to buy something for me. if i need/want it, i'll get it myself. if that means going in debt then i'll have to want it pretty bad or live without.

that said, there's nothing wrong with living with your parents as far as i'm concerned. i live with mine and i'm very happy with that arrangement (as are they). i don't really care if others consider it odd or think i'm lazy and not an adult for it. i don't live at home for financial reasons (though saving money on rent is a really nice perk!) so it isn't like i couldn't move out if i chose to do so or my parents asked me.

i don't think the issue is so much living with your parents as it is expecting them to support you. i don't expect anything from my parents. if they wanted rent, i'd gladly pay it or move out. as it is, they don't want rent because they'd much rather have the help around the house that they would otherwise have to pay for (which would total more than i'd pay in rent anyway).

they didn't buy me a car and they don't pay my bills. they aren't financially obligated to me in any way. if they wanted to buy me something, i'd take it as the gift it would be but i certainly don't expect anything.

but living with parents can be tricky depending on the people. it is working great for me and mine, but i've had friends who couldn't manage it. and i know my sister and my parents couldn't reach the same understanding that my parents and i share. they help her out financially a lot more than they do me, but it's easier for them (and her) to help pay her bills than to have her move in. so even though i live at home while she's on her own, i'd say i'm doing better on the self-supporting end of things.
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