Vincentt

Quick intro:

A few years back I had a bad breakup. I was already unhappy with most things in my life, and the break up dropped me even lower. After a little bit of self-hate I knew, I had to do something.

I wanted to do all the things I wished I could do. I did all the things I had always wanted to do. Learned to play guitar, studied Japanese, started a club, martial arts, worked on my health, become very extroverted.

My largest goal was to go study abroad in Japan. I have worked as this for quite some time now, studying the language working through the paper work nightmares of Education Abroad Office. In the end, I was accepted and on April 3ed, I will leave America for one year to study in Tokyo, Japan.

My problem:

Now that I am set to go, I feel… almost depressed. I cannot seem to study anymore, and just feel an over all feeling of “Bleh”. I do not question my desire to go, but am feeling down about my recent inability to study, it is going to hurt me once I arrive.

I have been keeping to myself a little more, but still go to the gym almost every day. I also hang out with friends when I can. Therefore, I am not typically depressed.

I feel very tired, I think after all the work involved to get to this point I am exhausted.

Anyhow, any thoughts comments or advice is welcome, thanks for hearing me out.

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lurkette

Even though you may not be "typically depressed," some of the things you describe do sound a little like depression. It may just be exhaustion, but the tiredness, the "bleh," the inability to concentrate, etc., sound kind of suspect. However, the change of scenery might help. I don't know about the medical system in Japan, but if this keeps up after you get there, you might want to see a doctor to rule out medical causes or to discuss antidepressants. At the very least, you might want to look at whether the "self-hate" is still there and is at the root of things.

Best of luck, and have a fabulous journey!

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

soundmotor

Going only on what you wrote, I'd say that mostly everything you've been doing was geared towards getting accepted to study in Japan. Now that you have been, you are let down & have doubts. That is not an uncommon reaction to achieving a specific goal. It is also called "Buyer's Remorse", "Banging the prom queen" and "Now what?". It's transitory too. April is a ways away. As it gets closer, you'll snap back to where you were.

Congratulations on a very respectable accompishment too!

soundmotor

ironmaiden7o7

It's only natural to feel that way. My best advice would be, see a doctor, maybe he/she can prescribe you something and in no time, you will be back to yourself. Feeling unhappy is a common thing, but it isn't normal, you should see someone. I hate that depressing feeling, I went through it also, it isn't something that I can deal with either. Please seek help.