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Old 08-19-2005, 05:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: O.C. California
Ashamed of myself

A couple of days ago one of my co-workers/friend came into the office and sat down while I was finishing up for the day and tried to start up a conversation with me. At that time I was getting ready to leave and was hustling to finish up so I could get out of there. So I pretty much blew him off and kept on working…actually I pretty much dismissed him with my non-interest.
He bows his head and begins to cry and walks out.
So there I am with this stupid look on my face.
I should of gotten up and stopped him and asked what was wrong…but I didn’t I was in a hurry. If the roles were reversed he would of asked me if I was ok…but I didn’t I was in a hurry!

Then next day I found out what had happened to him…..
His girlfriend had met him for lunch and told him that she was leaving him..and they had words Apparently she made a scene in the parking area and there were several other co-workers there when she did it. Her reason (which she yelled out)……”You are to fat and I am embarrassed to be with you.” To which some of his co-workers laughed at.

So he has to go back to work after that….
Of course he is upset and embarrassed and goes to find someone to talk to….that person happen to be me…..and to add salt to his fresh wound…I dismissed him completely.

He has since quit after working for our company for 6 years……he came in at night and quit so no one would see him out of embarrassment and hurt.
A lot of us have tried to contact him but hasn’t returned any of our calls….

Damn it! Seriously I am ashamed of myself for not taking a simple moment out of my life for him. She broke his heart and degraded him in front of his peers…..and I was to busy to listen…he would have taken time for me.

What is the purpose of me telling you this story?
So I can openly admit that it was an asshole move on my part, I am ashamed of myself and it has seriously forced me to take a look at my human being skills or more so maybe the lack of.

“I’m sorry Chris!”

[I]“One moment of compassion can help another person’s pain subside for a brief moment.” [/I]
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Old 08-19-2005, 05:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It sucks when we are confronted with the "that was your opportunity and you played the asshole card" moments. It is easy to get caught up in our cycles of familiarity and gloss over the signals telling us to be engaged in the moment. No joy here, justit. But a chance for you to be more aware of those in your life, and for us to use this sad moment to open our own eyes.

Thanks for sharing.
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Old 08-19-2005, 06:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: ignoreland
Oh man, that is very crappy... it is something I can imagine myself doing, I think everyone has been guilty at least a few times of not being able to see that someone is reaching out for help, or at least a much-needed sympathetic ear.

I think before anythign else, you should try to take solace in the fact that you do feel terrible about it, and you know if you could go back in time you would do things differently.

When you call do you leave messages?
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
this makes me sad on so many levels... that one human being (the girlfriend) would treat another so poorly as to publicly humiliate him. That people (the coworkers) would actually laugh at another person's pain and that Chris felt so humiliated that he had to quit... (I have this overwhelming desire to find this guy and give him a hug... or something)

You are not an asshole... I'm sure that Chris will understand when you get in touch with him. Dont let him be forgotten and keep trying to reach him. Everyone has moments when they just get busy yes they probaby should notice their surroundings but dont - doesnt make the bad people - the fact that you are recognizing it just proves it.

Good luck to you and I hope Chris is Ok...
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Old 08-19-2005, 08:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I would really suggest contacting this guy. He won't answer your calls for a while. But just maybe, if you give him some time, he'll answer you back.

I guess this is a good way to show us that we should actually LISTEN to what people say. Granted that I can't say i would've done anything different, because i've never been faced with the situation, but after reading this, I hope I will at least listen before dismissing.

Don't feel too bad, everyone has their bad days where they piss people off. Hell, i've had too many to count.
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Old 08-30-2005, 10:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Was this ever resolved? Or is the guy gone for good (at least for now)?
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Old 08-30-2005, 10:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
I hope you're leaving a message when you call...something to let him know exactly what you just told us. I think he would probably appreciate the fact that you were willing to be honest and it would make it seem more sincere that you really wanted him to get back in touch with you.

I hope the guy is ok...and I hope the girl....well lets just say, I hope karma bites her in the butt big time. Does anyone know his address...so they could maybe stop by his house or something?
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Last edited by ShaniFaye; 08-30-2005 at 10:47 AM..
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Old 09-08-2005, 11:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Southern California
Everyone has potential Asshole moments... but it is not necessarily their fault. She was a dumb bitch for being so cruel and it will take him a while to move on but he will. I hope you can comfort him soon!
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