Strange Famous

1,

A strange light shone from the ground
It was blue and black and green
You are not the person you made it seem
You are not the person you made it seem

A strange lights plays frighteningly against
A dirty old wall, chipped into the ugly brick
Chris 4 Jane. East Boyz 98, all that sort of thing
Jane, where have you gone, where have you gone
Does the light shine for you tonight
Tomorrow, today, some day?
And does it shine black, or does it shine blue?

You get carried away sometimes, these stairs
Are covered in beer cans and spoons
Decemeber 13th
The day will be cold
And riddled with wind and glass cut vision
What path leads from this place
To your pastoral childhood
And your Gamekeeper God

I know your daughter I knew your son
And I am not the only one
Someone else cut these flowers
But I am the one
Who brought them all the way here.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Strange Famous

Speed Lights

The damp evening seemed to expect disappointment
Before it dawned on me
Like a broken pile of engine parts
Arranged around scuffed old leather seats.
You say maybe, maybe, maybe, no.
And I keep walking, I keep jogging
Laps and tracks around your house

You can paint the walls every colour
That human eyes have ever seen
I'll be crouched down on one knee
Mobile phone clenched in my teeth
And a bowl of salt you cooked up with flower stems
Balanced on top of my head.

Cars swing past and past and in the rain
I remember another place, those ugly brown curtains
And the fear of God, and the fear of ghosts
Cars sweeping past, engines clicking like witches knives:
Ive come a long way since then, and I still feel the same.

So I guess it will be ok
You say maybe, maybe, maybe, no
I keep asking, this same questions
Guess I didnt get the hint
The first dozen or so times.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Strange Famous

I posted this before.. feels like I should say it again right now.


The day I left
The wind blew four ways
It was one of those April winters
As my eyes scanned left to right
In the back of a hired car
A scarf you didnt knit tightened around my throat
As I toyed with the concept of tears
Of course, you always have been a modern girl
These April showers: they come and they go
Later I'll be dry eyed, and my face will be so cold
And I could cross a thousand rivers
And I wont look back at you even once
And my self conscious laugh, your cleaner smile
The way you straighten your ams
Away from your body
So coquettishly
It means what it means
Nothing else, a feeling, a moment
If it was love, now it isnt.

Later, I'll be hanging round the old place
Night time suits my mood
My face hooded from the prying wind
And my eyes fixed at the ground aggressively
Shuffling with uneasy bulky grace
Through the heart of these half broken walls
With a bottle of fortified wine
And a half hearted hand made into a fist
But you didnt do these things to me
I was like this before, during
And so after I'll be the same.
I dont know what you wanted
Happiness I suppose
But everyone does.

Send me an email
Tell me about the movies you saw
You want to see
That you would have seen with me
In some other place
Some parellel universe
Your cheek unthinking touching the side of my arm
Your elbow on my hip
And my heart on fire
And my eyes reflecting another soul
Tell me about your workmates
I'll hate the one's you hate
Just as well
But dont tell me about your new boyfriend
Too soon, it doesnt hurt
I just dont care.

Just these words to connect the two of us
In hotmail and yahoo
I keep the tone light
I could always make you life
With my recounts of some comic humiliation
That either really happened
Or I just make up.

I'm sat on an uncomforable chair
Feeling like Im swelling, like Im dying
Sodden with drink, surrounded by broken books
I've only half read
I've only one third written

Your hands placed together
As if in prayer
A flash of hair spinning
Pretty teeth... these things I remember
Listen, it doesnt really get to me
I think we did the right thing to
There is a part of me that misses
Us being together, and a part of me
That just misses you
But Ive never been the type
You expected that I'd be.
I can understand your reaction
To the uncertaintity in me
I know it was two thirds my fault
All the times I withdrew
Unneccesarily

Im sitting in an uncomfortable chair
Thinking of you
Writing about it
My left ear keeps hurting
Though it never bleeds
I wonder if my left hand
Touched you more times than the right
What a funny thing to think
You smiled in a funny way
When I told you how they caught me with my pants down
Jerking off into the fishpond at school one day.
I guess I couldnt place your ambition
In my scheme of things
I guess you couldnt understand my laziness
The way I will always say
Im unhappy, but keep doing the same God Damn things
Anyway.
There are things that I am careful of
I never send more emails
Than you do
I dont want to come across
Like Im obsessed or something
Even if I do miss you
I'll never say it
I'll never place you in a situation you need to be uncomfortable
About.
i suppose this is a song for parting
Set to no music
Full of words
That somehow seem only half meant.
I'll never tell you
The middle side of me.
The light and the dark, everyone can see.
And if you want to email me everyday
I'm not going to cry over you anymore
I'm not going to use a photography of you
As my desktop wallpaper
Just because I CAN

Ear still hurts,
Call me up
Im getting over you
I dont have to make up stories about other girls
Anymore, I dont need the self defence
Ive built around this fence
All draped in bulbs of garlic and ornate crosses
Not much point padlocking the gate
And making your birthday the combination
When my house doesnt have a roof.
We can laugh together
About the new guy at work who wears the same shirt all week long
And did I ever tell you
About he time they caught me with my pants down
Jerking off over the dinner plates?
My mumbled absolution
Trying not to slur the words
You laugh like a piano
Sounds when someone hits every key at once
It isnt that attractive
The more I think of it
You know.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Strange Famous

Three friends hand in hand, dancing happy laps,
Happy claps, to musical taps, pretty and clean
A boy and a girl and a boy
And I was the boy, not the second but the first
It was sunny more with her than me, with him
And round and round and round we go
And I was strong, I didnt fall down
I didnt anticipate
That both her and him would
Rolling the fresh grass, summer marks, clothing all messed up
Blonde haired smile, he'll be crying later
and I wont
And he'll be crying later
And I'll just be alone
What do you expect from me?
You got what you wanted
And so you can take what you get
Apparently, its the way you planned it
I'm walking this way, and you will be crying
And he will be crying
And she will be crying
Tears, not of regret, but of...
Well, tears that belong to people like you
Who think its poignant when its not
And who think its magic, when the sun rises or sets
Yeah, like it does everyday
Everywhere
Maybe I sound bitter
I could admit to that.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas