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Old 05-27-2011, 12:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
genuinegirly's Avatar
 
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Location: Arabidopsis-ville
My Quilt - poem

I wrote this today. It came out unexpectedly, though welcome. I hope that it has meaning for others.

-----------------------------
MY life's unfinished quilt

SO many little pieces
how do they ever fit
the quilt of life before me
no clues to see it through

IN time i find components
discover patterns
together worked
fragile fabric life's mosaic
colors, vibrant & free
patches unrelated
work to brilliant
visual harmony

WITH half a life behind
and more ahead to see
the world pauses briefly
a dark spot in tapestry

THREADS of mismatched fibers
wound into a partial whole
crafted and delivered
in strips, unmatched, unrefined

INCOMPLETE with
pieces, bare, before me
more yet to behold
confusion, excitement, dismay
overwhelming in scope
this unfinished form

WITH each step a path
forms stronger than before
part finds its mate
compliment and contrast
mellow yet refined

NEVER quite a puzzle
nowhere that defined
masterpiece in the making
one painful cloth strip at a time
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Last edited by genuinegirly; 05-27-2011 at 12:27 PM..
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Old 05-29-2011, 07:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
Jetée's Avatar
 
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
I've gone ahead and read through your share three times, and I really like it GG, perhaps moreso for the reason that I can easily identify with its context of meaning. (my life is a mixed bag of meanings, trivialities, memories, and contradictions.)


Additionally, I took a minute to look over its structure, and its quite interesting (and a thought: it can verily mirror any one person's lot in life, thru time.)

I laid it out as so: {as if it were an evolving storybook, with no words, but only descriptors}

prologue (neutral)

joyous

turning (solemn)

reflection (wandering, regret)

recollections (awe)

inflection (hopeful)

epilogue (dis-/satisifaction)



Words of gratitude for sharing your originally-composed prose, genuinegirly.
Do you have any further comments or backstory to add to the poem, such as your mindset at the time, or any metaphors within that might mean more then they are telling?

And as a final note: if you'd like to go further with the poem through any revisions, I'd be more than glad to read it when it goes through the mind's mill, to see how it evolves.
There's also the easy revision of homonymous meanings you may wish to correct in your sixth stanza: compliment (re: praise, or good wishes) -> complement (re: something in which fits, or completes)
Besides that small tack, it is a fine work, and I'm all the better for finding it (with due kudos to you, for sharing it).
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