My first and last attempt at a story. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

J.R.V.A. · 10-21-2003, 07:22 PM

And you realize that is'nt your fingers.......

WOOWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

I really hope this is'nt your last story....And you said you could'nt write

ARTelevision · 10-22-2003, 12:50 AM

the close personal emphasis and attention to detail are what makes writing such a deep psychological experience. this is a real cool example of very focused work.
thanks!

losthellhound · 10-23-2003, 11:25 AM

very well done. I love it.. You really should write more..

mb99usa · 10-23-2003, 11:33 AM

That was a great read. Enough build-up to the action without drawing the story out too long. Very intense.

Angel · 10-23-2003, 03:31 PM

Thank you all for your feed back. I still keep coming back and tinkering with pulling it off the board but something keeps me keeping it here. heh

xim · 02-21-2004, 09:09 AM

................damn and my girlfriend's at school!!!

absorbentishe · 02-21-2004, 06:04 PM

Very nice, I could put myself right there with you.

bacon_masta · 02-22-2004, 02:22 PM

well written, excellent sensory detail, and very provocative. just reading it made me wish.......well, nevermind, but don't stop writing with this one

flamingdog · 03-16-2004, 09:50 AM

Don't pull it down, it's probably the best written thing on here. It would be a tragedy if you didn't write more. Trust me, I'm a professional

Disco Stu · 04-12-2004, 01:27 PM

the story was excellent! something about the style of writing that really keeps you interested. I hope you keep up the great work, I only wish i could write that well. Thanks!

matteo101 · 04-12-2004, 03:53 PM

That was an excelent piece of writing. Amazing use of words, that almost made me feel as if I was there watching you. Keep on writing, that was great, thanks.

10-21-2003, 07:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	My first and last attempt at a story. * __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus Last edited by Angel; 07-30-2004 at 08:32 PM..

10-21-2003, 07:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	And you realize that is'nt your fingers....... WOOWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm..... I really hope this is'nt your last story....And you said you could'nt write __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

10-22-2003, 12:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	the close personal emphasis and attention to detail are what makes writing such a deep psychological experience. this is a real cool example of very focused work. thanks! __________________ create evolution

10-23-2003, 11:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
losthellhound Thats MR. Muffin Face now Location: Everywhere work sends me	very well done. I love it.. You really should write more.. __________________ "Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?" -- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

10-23-2003, 11:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	That was a great read. Enough build-up to the action without drawing the story out too long. Very intense. __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

10-23-2003, 03:31 PM	#6 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	Thank you all for your feed back. I still keep coming back and tinkering with pulling it off the board but something keeps me keeping it here. heh __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

02-21-2004, 09:09 AM	#7 (permalink)
xim Insane Location: One with the Universe	................damn and my girlfriend's at school!!! __________________ If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

02-21-2004, 06:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Very nice, I could put myself right there with you.

02-22-2004, 02:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
bacon_masta Psycho Location: i live in the state of denial	well written, excellent sensory detail, and very provocative. just reading it made me wish.......well, nevermind, but don't stop writing with this one

03-16-2004, 09:50 AM	#10 (permalink)
flamingdog Still fighting it.	Don't pull it down, it's probably the best written thing on here. It would be a tragedy if you didn't write more. Trust me, I'm a professional

04-12-2004, 01:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
Disco Stu Psycho Location: Springfield, USA	the story was excellent! something about the style of writing that really keeps you interested. I hope you keep up the great work, I only wish i could write that well. Thanks!

04-12-2004, 03:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
matteo101 In transition Location: north, no south abit, over to the right, getting warmer...there!	That was an excelent piece of writing. Amazing use of words, that almost made me feel as if I was there watching you. Keep on writing, that was great, thanks.