mystmarimatt

So, this is my first time posting anything here, and i'm a bit nervous. I love writing and such, but i'm often hesitant to share it with people. I write all the normal stuff, poetry, prose and such, but one of the things i love most, being an actor, is to write things in the form of a monologue, and this is something i wrote in a flurry of inspiration the other night after hearing a conversation with a buddy of mine. So far, my women friends have liked it, and the guy friend i showed it to and i had a lengthy discussion, because we naturally pick apart each other's work.

Here goes. It doesn't have a name, might have a few grammatical errors and some parts are a little weak because i haven't edited it yet, but i'll posst anyway.

What kind of woman are you looking for? Someone who’s smart. And funny. And nice…I see…That's great if you can find Ms. "Smart, Funny. Nice." It's tremendously wonderful if you find her, in fact, because are you willing to share her with the 3 billion other males looking for that EXACT woman? Be honest with yourself, man. What do you REALLY want? a good cook? a nice bod, perhaps, or a great lay? If that were case, if that’s all anyone were looking for, we'd all be the same. But we're not, and you cannot for a moment, for a mere instant, say that a university professor of Renaissance Literature wants the same thing in a woman as a rural mill worker. Yes, yes, we're all bound by our inexplicable enrapturement of those beautiful creations that are women, but we will never be bound by one specific variety. Would you dare say a male chauvinist pines for a well-read feminista who can quote Juan Luis Borges or the philosophical quandaries of Plato on demand, and knows a few great one-liners? Oh, no, maybe he just pines for the simpleton who can cook his dinner and give ‘im some lovin’ while he watches the bloody super bowl. Or, perhaps you yourself are a quiet soul, and you want another quiet soul in which to silently breathe your way together through life unto death. Yes, that might do nicely. Or maybe, you're an eclectic chef, who can cook like the devil, you don't need a kitchen-veteran of a lass, no, maybe you don't care about that. There are certain....other attributes she might bring in to play. Maybe she can't tell a bunt cake from a bunson burner but MY GOD is she a wonder in the sack. What if you’re a mild mannered reporter, can’t utter a word with that annoying stutter…perhaps you want the THRILL, the colossal EXCITEMENT of a dangerous vixen to behold. The point is not that we want a woman with those pithy, clichéd attributes, we want someone who will complete us…and no cookie crumbles exactly the same as any other…the fine points and edges run unique, and so we strive to find those that match our inward little niches…yes, there are women who are nice, funny and smart, but are there not women who are loud, cold-hearted brazen bitches! Does that mean no one will love them in the end, that they are not worthy of love? I don’t care what you want, mate, I don’t. Get with the picture, you know what you REALLY want, just don’t be afraid to tell yourself. But you know what? "Smart. Funny. Nice" doesn't cut it. "Smart. Funny. Nice." Doesn't even come close.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

SaltPork

Well said! Thanks for posting.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.