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Old 06-19-2004, 08:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
My first poem

I never got into poetry whenever we studied it back in high school. I read the stuff and I had some poems I particularly liked, but I never tried to write anything. But idle hands are more than just the devil's playthings and tonight, out of boredom, I sat down to write my first poem.



Untitled
----------
Feigning sleep
alone at night
some wonder where I've been

I've been here
up all night
I think of not but them
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Old 06-20-2004, 03:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
Jesus Freak
 
Location: Following the light...
Good start! Welcome to the literature section!
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Old 06-20-2004, 06:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
<3 Peetster
 
Location: Peetster's house.
Very good start!
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Old 06-20-2004, 06:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Splendid....keep going
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Old 06-21-2004, 09:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Alright, I've tried writing some more stuff, but I can never seem to get more than a verse or two down. Maybe I should try haikus....


The best
-------------------
Everybody wanted me
to be a better man
But when I tried they said
No way!
you've done the best you can



Papa
------------------
Who are you to say the things
the things that make me want to be
to want to be
to be the man
to be the man you wanted me

I grew up without you dad
say you yet you never had
the chance to love and learn and teach
the things I needed more

More of hopes of your's not mine
'cause mine were but a dream
and in this dream of mine we see
my life - a troubled teen

Last edited by Jean-Luc Godard; 06-21-2004 at 09:14 PM..
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Old 06-21-2004, 10:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
Jesus Freak
 
Location: Following the light...
I know how that is with what your wrote in "The best."

"Papa" is good in how you portrayed what you missed. So sad.

Good Job! Keep it up!
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Old 07-11-2004, 10:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Japan
If you are this good just starting off, I can't wait to read what you do when you become more accomplished.
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