Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Creativity > Tilted Literature


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-20-2003, 08:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: CT,NYC,NJ(have been all over)
last one for now- thoughtstream rantings

so here i am with my fingers drying, i am brittle and solid, a constant compliment, counterproductive counterforce
aching with interminable nobility, satisfied customer of hypocrisy thank you so much, yet at the same time rain falls on me and the spiral teardrops seem to radiate from me with inner vitality. Beauty rides these fat waves of contentment , throwing me cascading through blankets of warmth into the volcano core, the depths of my mind, i didn't mind. I wander around sometimes here, looking for something to do, looking for the person to care, but i will never find it outside of myself, all my life, been looking in the wrong place. Tattered flocks of birds falling around me, I always wanted to kiss the ground. Will it ever be that way again? So in that month ahead when I stand at the center of it-wall, where will I begin? What could I feel there, will the dawn break like dew drops nurse the morning? We will never surrender, we and these towering ramparts that build us up only to fall apart.

I fall from 10,000 feet, slamming into the ground breaking my shoulder, a dust cloud forms around me. I tried to touch the mirror but I fell to pieces. I am cracked down the middle, walking a line between indelibable anger and loss, and noxious complacency. You know nothing of my pain. I raise my hand at chest level, my palm is towards you, you will not pass this. I have drawn the line now. The line to trip over, the line that strangles me from behind. And oh, how my memories burn, yet the fire is ice-cold. I tried to warm myself by it and came away frozen and burning. Oh, to see the blood drip from your mouth. Roll me in the wheat scattered across this scorched earth. Rise and be free. Water rained down on me from above, i tried to wash my hands. They are so tattered and covered with soot. I washed my face, and now my face is covered with ashes too. If I could stop pulling my hair out I'd cut it off. i just want to burn, and let it go.
(I once was young and have become old, but never overlooked a righteous man who was destitute, with his children begging for bread. The Lord will give strength to his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Lord, let our captivity be a thing of the past, like dried up streams in the Negev. Thos who sow in tears will reap in joy.)

I can never say any better than is there, and still i rebel. With my self-destroying weakness, i give in, and in, and in, and lose myself in it. I immerse myself in that which is hateful to me. And why? despair? I hurt myself only, i sabotage my own efforts. No more. It is time to end the iniquity and cleanse my face. I will not walk in shadows of living, i will not be buried in the corners of this dusty house that has become my prison. I will walk through it, transcending this, and the swath left in time will swallow back in on itself like velvet waves, rippling and whole. Joseph was a boy who could have been anything, he was lost in conflict. He is left without a sense of self, where he comes from, who he is. He is a sensitive boy. time to decide, for the night is short and dawn is approaching. When the sun explodes over the horizon one must be prepared and ready for it. The flight is yet to come. everything must be scoured, the truth must come out, make me real. I want to feel the pain, I want to live awake. I will not be buried in the landslide, dad, you will never understand. i couldn't get close to you even though I tried. I will make my own life, and I will live in a house made of ashes and brick, with an iron stove and a fireplace that crackles and burns and keeps me warm. My belly wants to swallow this thick well of emotion surrounding it. It radiates but is still restrained, or kept out. Out or in, there is a barrier to cross, because he is scared. He has been hurt in the past, and tries protect himself but it is in vain. The apprentice kneels by the hot coals burning his eyes but warming himself, he watches the red iron beaten and beaten again with the hammer until it is soft and swallowed in flames, never to bend or be broken again.

__________________
Truth is peace. We are all souls in bodies.

Last edited by crumbbum; 05-20-2003 at 03:06 PM..
crumbbum is offline  
Old 05-20-2003, 03:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: CT,NYC,NJ(have been all over)
The middle part is part of the grace after meals that Orthodox Jews read- it's been stuck in my head, I find it beautiful and kind of haunting. It came out in this.
__________________
Truth is peace. We are all souls in bodies.

Last edited by crumbbum; 05-20-2003 at 03:07 PM..
crumbbum is offline  
Old 05-20-2003, 06:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Naughty Just Right
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Location: Euphoria
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
*Stands up and cheers*
Thank you...again!
__________________


In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
Angel is offline  
Old 05-20-2003, 08:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
SaltPork's Avatar
 
Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
WOW!! That...was...amazing! I can't believe what I just read! Truly amazing. Lilting thoughts; powerful musings. Pure excellence. Thanks.
__________________
It was like that when I got here....I swear.
SaltPork is offline  
Old 05-21-2003, 06:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Utah
Nice
__________________
And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart
J.R.V.A. is offline  
Old 05-21-2003, 01:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: CT,NYC,NJ(have been all over)
Thanks guys, you are really great. I got really nervous before posting anything on here, but I was encouraged when I read how kind and appreciative you all were of each other . Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm going on a trip soon, so won't be back for awhile, but I really appreciate it. Best wishes!
__________________
Truth is peace. We are all souls in bodies.
crumbbum is offline  
 

Tags
rantings, thoughtstream

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:35 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360