docbungle

Story removed by author due to publication submission.

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Bad Luck City

Daoust

Even though this story offends me to the inner most part of my being, I will admit that it's well written...

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I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

darkangel

It didn't offend me because it's probably something every kid has thought about while being in church. He's just.. sitting up there, and looks like one day he's going to jump off. Creative thinking here, I liked it.

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"I'm gonna die when it's time for me to die.. so let me live my life the way I want to." - Jimi Hendrix

docbungle

Thanks guys; I was afraid everyone would jump on me for being morally bankrupt. To tell the truth, it kind of offends me, too. Thanks for the kind words.

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Bad Luck City

vonstalhein

Hahah what's offensive about it? it's funny as hell.

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No Win No Fee

cierah

I don't think it's funny or offensive. It's shocking... I think it speaks volumes about the reasons ppl go to church and about the reasons we call ourselves religious. I think it's profound and very well written. Thank-you.

liquidlight

I'm with cierah on this one, an excellent illustration about what's really important to most people about being in church!

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Halfway to hell and picking up speed.

StormBerlin

Wow, what an interesting take on church. Very well written, and mildly offensive

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"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

ratbastid

It speaks to exactly what I observed growing up as a church-goer. Those fuckers have Jesus nailed up there so tight nobody's ever going to see his penis.

TexanAvenger

Exact reason I stopped going to church... The metaphorical reason behind the story, not the literal one.

The most succinctly I've ever seen it put. ratbastid wins again.

Thanks docbungle, for throwing this out here for us. Well done.

degrawj

that's an awesome piece man. offensive? sure. but it was very original, and written very well. thanks for sharing your work!

Xerxys

OMGWTF???

Not offensive ... just err ... wow ... geez, erm

inBOIL

This story makes me giggle. Like church giggles. The kind that won't go away because you know you're not supposed to laugh.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Jozrael

Wow, this is epic.

grumpyolddude

Rod Serling would have loved this. I kinda like it, myself!

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

Skitto

I've been forcefeeding my brain with George Carlin...

I'm well steeped now, and- relatively impressed.

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Yeah, well, you're just that awesome, I guess. It's not like I guessed so anyways.

Cervantes

A very interesting piece, love how you nailed (no pun intended) the flow and associations of the most current thoughts in the story tellers mind, chaotic but still very believable flow.

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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

Xerxys

TFP showcases how depraved and morally bankrupt the world really is. I mean seriously people, you go to church and in the hour sermon the only thing you can think about is "Shit! I can't see his dick!"?

Bacchanal

Very good read. I half expected a punchline at the end, but I like it better this way.

Also, I'm not even slightly offended.

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Universal Truth Is Not Measured In Mass Appeal