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Old 08-22-2005, 04:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Writing Challenge #32

August is almost over ... and here's another challenge



YOUR CHALLENGE:


Using whatever writing style you wish, write a piece that includes two opposing emotions





Have a great week everyone ... Look forward to seeing your ideas!
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Old 08-22-2005, 05:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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How I hate to Love you
making love out of spite
loathing my need for your kiss
not knowing what I did
to deserve this

Feeling the hatred of bliss
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Old 08-22-2005, 02:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
peekaboo
 
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Location: on the back, bitch
Stingy with the words of caring
Unsure of where to step
The lines of future path obscured
I fear apathy in the stones unturned
Dare to be open to love's revelations
Indifference is the feared response
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Old 08-22-2005, 07:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
Fancy
 
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Location: Chicago
Hope this meets the challenge...

A Mixed Emotion Betrayal

She thinks back now and doesn’t regret the action that fixed her marriage.

She remembers feeling lonely and unfulfilled. Her husband was rarely available to fulfill her desires and she missed just the light touch he used to give as he would walk past her. Lately, he just grunted and barely turned as he walked out the door to the bar. This must have been the reason for her immoral slip. The man had brushed past her on the corner and the electricity it sent through her body was a long-forgotten sensation. He turned and smiled and she was beyond fighting. They began to talk and he was actually interested in the words she spoke. While slightly touching hands and knees throughout the conversation, the anticipation of what could happen was intense. She welcomed the invitation to his flat and found all her desires met. As she was getting dressed, she realized too late her wrong doings, but couldn’t dismiss the happiness and contentment that she now felt. She kissed the stranger good-bye and walked home feeling light-headed from happiness, but somewhat heavy with guilt. Her husband was sitting on the couch when she walked through the door. He looked at her and noticed her tousled hair and rumpled clothes. He became irate demanding to know what was going on. She smiled as tears ran down her face and murmured, “You do still notice me.”
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Old 08-23-2005, 02:24 AM   #5 (permalink)
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She smiled as tears ran down her face and murmured, “You do still notice me.”


Damn.....perfect line shesus.
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm a big girl, mommy, I say
I want to do it all by myself
the shoes are on my feet
To me all my colors match

I need the light on, mommy
if you are going to go away
I wish you would lie with me
there's monsters under my bed
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Old 08-23-2005, 06:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
Fancy
 
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Location: Chicago
monkie, good poem of a child struggling to grow up. I think most of us have been there.
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Old 08-23-2005, 06:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
Fancy
 
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Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tecoyah
She smiled as tears ran down her face and murmured, “You do still notice me.”

Damn.....perfect line shesus.
Tec, thank you. I actually started with that line and worked backwards. Glad that you liked it.
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Old 08-24-2005, 07:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
Non-smokers die everyday
 
Location: Montreal
I see him approach the counter, affecting the stride of the dissatisfied. This man is pissed, but in his face I see that he bears it badly. He doesn't want to be here, to complain, but he probably keeps all sorts of black moods inside and now, he is taking a stand. I served him yesterday, and he was quiet and self-obfuscing, now he meets my gaze, works up his courage. "He's just a lone sales clerk," he tells himself. "He's paid to just stand there, take it and apologize. It'll be cathartic." He holds some sort of black box in his hands, with some rubber tubing coming out of it. It's leaking a little bit of water. I smile.

He's close to me now. He reveals the contraption. All that remains is the physical barrier of the counter and the social barrier of tact.

- "Can I help you, sir?"
- "Yeah. What's this?"
- "Let's see... well, this looks like this year's model of the Lil' Goldie Aquajet Filter, which I sold you yesterday. It should be in your aquarium right now, helping to keep your fish alive. What's his name?"
- "It's Re... hey! Don't start with me, man! My goldfish was normal yesterday, BEFORE I bought this piece of crap, and now he's... he's..."
- "Dead?"
- "No."
- "Sick?"
- "No!"
- "What, then?"
- "He's... more... ah... he's more golden!

It takes a lot for him to say that, and I love him for it. He probably lives alone, no girlfriend, working a steady, but boring job in which he has little control over things. Buying a fish was perfect for him. Low maintenance; doesn't leave hair everywhere; relaxing to watch. Perfect. Now his little diversion has changed and the control he thought he bought for himself was becoming unpredictable. His face is an interesting mix of embarrassment, incredulity and annoyance.

- "More golden, sir?"
- "Ye... yeah. Since you sold me this damn filter thingy yesterday, I thought you could make it work properly. I mean, a goldfish isn't really supposed to be... uh... made out of gold! It's just supposed to be shiny like gold."
- "Wait. You say your fish is now made out of gold and it's still alive?"

He looks down at his shoes. Blood rushes to his face as he mumbles an answer, stops himself, then starts again.

- "Well... he's not solid gold. He's still swimming around, but he's slow and keeps to the bottom of the tank."
- "Huh... I guess he just needs to get adjusted to his new state. I wouldn't add any new fish to your aquarium, since they might become jealous or something. Have you changed his diet?"
- "Listen, buddy, this isn't funny! I'm not making this shit up! He's made out of gold now! Some weird... flexible gold that's sticking to him! I even found this at the bottom, near the little castle."

He produces an envelope and delicately opens it. I already know what it is before he dumps it on the counter. Tiny little golden chunks tinkle out. Good thing it's quiet in the shop today. I smile again.

- "What's that, sir?"
- "You tell me! I found the first little batch of... this, about 2 hours after Red October finished eating last night. Then there...
- "Red October, sir?"
- "Yeah... that's his name."
- "Like the movie with Sean Connery?"
- "Uh, yeah... plus I got him last week, in October."
- "Sounds like you got all your angles covered, sir."
- "Listen! Then I found another little pile this morning, a while after I fed him! When I bought him, I didn't have a filter yet and nothing weird happened. Now... now this!"
- "Looks like gold."
- "Yes!"

His voice is different now. He came in ready to be brusque and to have people snap to it. That "yes" just now was a revelation. It started high and angry and finished low and contemplative. Quite impressive for a man to do with a 1-syllable word. He's looking at the golden bits now, not breathing hard. He doesn't want to blow them off the counter. I look at him in rapt attention. I see it. He's wondering what he was upset about. He now possesses a goldfish that, unbelievably, shits gold. Right near a little fake castle, no less! He looks at the filter, reaches for it, then stops. He looks up at me and meets my gaze, unblinking.

- "How?"
- "How, sir? Maybe Red October wanted to make you happy. That's the wish of any pet, right? Isn't that why you bought it?"
- "But... it only started yesterday... after I bought this filter... from you."
- "Well, I don't think I had anything to do with that, sir. I mean, it's just a filter. I have an assembly manual here for your model. Let's have a look together."

I reach under the counter where stacks of booklets are located. Two of them are composed of Lil' Goldie literature. The bigger stack has the boring, white booklets with that annoyingly small print. The one I reach for is much smaller, and had blue booklets. I pull one out and open it.

The customer and I go over the instructions and he assures me he did everything right. A smile creeps on his face and stays there. I close the booklet and put it back under the counter. He thanks me profusely and turns to leave. He walks like someone new. He is discovering everything again. He barely notices the yuppie family that shoves past him as he exits and sees a jeweler next door. He walks to it and his face turns bright. Almost golden.

I take my eyes off him from the window and let them drift towards the family. Noisy kids, designer clothes and stiff upper lips. They hover around the fish tanks. The kids point and scream and want gold. The parents hush them sternly and ask a clerk what it takes to keep these fish alive (at least long enough for the kids to get bored of them and not care when they float up to the top). She sets them up with a few goldies, a tank and this year's brand new filter. The parents laugh at the name a make their way to me, rolling their eyes.

I reach under the counter and pull out a white booklet, smiling.
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Last edited by Bob Biter; 08-24-2005 at 07:22 AM..
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Old 08-25-2005, 09:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Denver
Thinking of the Wife again

Anxiety wears at me like the water upon the mountainside.
Anticipation tears my insides apart as if it were tissue in water.
Time can't move slow enough as my mind rushes to conclusions.
-a pause-
-a silence-
-an awkward moment-
-a smile-
-a Vow-
The water on the mountain flows over me and soothes
my insides are a-flutter with tiny tissue butterflies
Time had better slow as my elation peaks anew.
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Old 08-26-2005, 04:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
"I'm sorry. What was the question?"
 
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Location: Paradise Regained
I am ravenous. I am starving. The pains in my guts chime like church bells on a day when the fog is low and suffocating. Outstretched infront of my calloused eyes lies a field of candy. The candy wears rainbows with pigtails and braces, and shoes they did not buy themselves. Such quaint, delicious little packages that ask me to devour them. I know they ask. They don't use words I use, but they ask. They offer me their sugary coatings, their sweet succulence. They flaunt it so knowingly, so boldly. How I long to satisfy the cravings, to give in, to indulge....
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. I am so fucking sick! So fucking sick of myself. What the fuck is wrong with me? You worms of hell inside me,finish your work and consume me completely. Mortal, sinner, evil man! You aren't even worthy of death or reintegration. Weakness personified in frail flesh! You deserve every pang of torment. Every lick of flame. Every dart.
....but I am so hungry.
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Old 08-26-2005, 08:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: Comfy Little Bungalow
"I love you, I know you know that."

The tears dripped off his chin to lightly colour the sheets. His mind already shut off the incessant beeping of the ECG and the plastic hissing through the tubing in her nostrils.

This was not the peace his wife sought, and he knew it was right to help her find the solace that had eluded them both all these long months.

To truly love her, he knew the only course of action left to express that love.

The button clicked loudly when he turned off the machine, as did the door closing behind him as he left the nursing home.

Pierre
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Last edited by vox_rox; 08-26-2005 at 09:02 AM..
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Old 08-26-2005, 11:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Winston-Salem, NC
Excellent work, especially Bob Biter and Daoust.

-Lasereth
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Old 08-26-2005, 01:16 PM   #14 (permalink)
Too Awesome for Aardvarks
 
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Location: Angloland
For you would seek to take me,
From this land unto the darkness,
Ne'er would i see the light again,
My soul forsaken,
My heart destroyed,
You would destroy me,
And all that i hold dear.

Speak not of false evils,
I would save you,
Those to whom you pledge yourself,
Those from whom you claim salvation,
They would cast you asunder,
Bring death and misery to all your kin,
They would destroy you,
Not me.

You would take me,
Not save me,
I know that of which you are,
That from whence you came,
You are the evil,
You are the anger,
I see the blackness of your heart,
Leave now and keep yourself,
Not shall i blindly follow such as a fool.

A fool,
I can see the pain and anguish in your eyes,
The eternal suffering of one who knows not his heart,
I offer love,
Not hatred,
I would save you,
Not end you,
The warmth of my lands and my heart i extend to you,
Take it and be free,
Suffer no longer the shackles of dispair and damnation,
Let the stars guide you,
If you will not take my council,
They will lead you home.
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Old 08-26-2005, 07:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
"I can't believe your being so stubborn!! Why won't you take one minute to just listen to me!" I cried, beginning to feel the raging flames of anger.
"I have been listening!!" my boyfriend, J.B., angrily pleaded in reply. "Why must I be so difficult?!? How about you? You always assume that I don't understand you!"
I paused, thoughtful.
"Me?!?" I yelled, "You're the one with your mind on someone or something else! You couldn't care less about me, what am I supposed to think!?"
I took a few steps around the couch, closer to him. He was in the living room, standing between the couch and the coffee table; he'd stood up to continue the fight after I stood up and went to walk into the kitchen. I looked at him and some of my anger subsided quickly. Maybe we were going about this the wrong way...[i]Was I being overbearing? Was I in the wrong??</I> I wondered.
I was soooo angry at him. He'd been a jerk to me for three days straight and I didn't know what the hell was up with him. On Monday, for most of the day, he seemed distracted. He seemed mostly lost in thought. I started to worry, which only increased when I called him that evening. The conversation was short, since he was pretty quiet...I began to get the vibe that he didn't want to be on the phone. I was so annoyed with him, but keeping as steady a voice as I could I quickly got off the phone with him so I could cry. On Tuesday, he seemed frustrated and irritated. Wednesday, which was today, had been worse. He had forgotten all about the dinner plans we had with two other couples, all good friends of ours.
I bit my lower lip. We had been doing so well together for over four months, I was fearful that he was having a change of heart. Could he have changed his mind, found someone else that he liked more? I panicked a little, thinking. She knew almost immediately that it was nonsense. No way could he like someone more...they had been doing really great together.
The pause in their argument seemed to calm him as well. He moved around the couch, closer to her. He looked at her and smiled softly. He leaned on the back of the couch, and began to speak, softly.
"Baby, I'm sorry that I have been out of sorts this past week. I'm sorry that I have snapped at you, that I've made you cry...I've been thinking about us a lot since about Saturday, we had such a great time this weekend, you and I have so much fun together, but -" He said, then stopped when I cut him off.
"But what? You want to 'see other people'? 'Just be friends'? Is that it???" I demanded.
J.B. looked at me.
"What?!" he almost laughed, "Where did that come from?"
I explained to him what I thought was the reason for his distance recently.
"I can't help it, J.B. It is the only reason I could come up with. If that's not it, then tell me. Talk to me. I want to know what's going on." I said, carefully.
"It couldn't be further from the truth," he began, "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this...I love you."
It was the first time he said that. For a moment, it didn't register, then slowly it started to become clearer in my mind the meaning of his words.
I stared at him. Did I really hear him right? I wondered.
"What?" I said, dazed.
"I love you." he repeated, stepping forward to touch me.
I looked into his eyes. It was true. He didn't want to be without me; there wasn't anyone else. He loves me. He doesn't dislike me...he loves me!! I thought, suddenly nervous and excited.
"I love you, too, J.B." I said, looking him in the eye.
Sometimes, it's a good thing to be wrong...sometimes.
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Last edited by Amnesia620; 08-27-2005 at 11:45 AM.. Reason: Quotations and some junk.
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Old 08-28-2005, 02:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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These are just awesome, everybody - glad to see both new and regulars - get ready for another week!
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Old 08-30-2005, 03:09 PM   #17 (permalink)
Upright
 
Five. Minutes, that is. Only five minutes until the stand can be shut off and the standee can go home.

Per every scrumptious-smelling lunch rings up, his field of thought becomes more like a tunnel, narrowing until all he can think about is a hearty meal. Excitement ensues, but logical thinking becomes clouded. A senile woman pays for her groceries, using a credit card, in lieu of her trusty checkbook. The line behind her grows as she fails to follow instructions. He releases a sigh of relief as she completes the transaction, moves on to the next customer, and apologizes for the wait. His simple statement invokes a completely unexpected response from the new customer: “It’s ok, we’ll all be like her one day.”

Suddenly, his tunnel-like perspective turns into a perspective like that of a shuttle pilot on a mission – holistic and solemn. Lunch seems not to matter anymore as the rush of unpleasant feelings ensues.

‘Me? Become slow and senescent?’ he thinks to himself, ‘never.’ His stage of denial serves no purpose, however, as a cold feeling hits him dead in the stomach. These feelings transcend any desire for appetite that he has. Appetite is no longer in the realm of the present when he thinks about the inevitable.

Another supermarket warrior helps remaining customers in line at another checkstand. *Beep* “Will this chicken be all for you today?” The smell was all it took to snap his mind back into primal mode. Suddenly the idea of lunch never seemed better.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:07 AM   #18 (permalink)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bjones@somemail.com

subject: have you seen the new chick who moved in across from me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh God, I hate her. Can't stand her. There's something about her boyfriend, though. Good man all around. A "man's man", if such a thing still exists. I really despise her for tarting herself around like that. This is a family neighborhood, after all. I have kids to raise, and I want to do it in a respectable atmosphere- not on fucking Whore Street, USA. I mean what is she thinking? I can't take my goddamn lawn mower out to trim back the grassy onslaught in my front yard without seeing her layed out in her two-piece dental floss bikini.

That boyfriend? Totally wrong for her. Good head on this shoulders, likes to catch a movie with the guys- his only fault that I can see is having his cock anywhere near that homeless shelter cafeteria trashcan of a human being he calls his girlfriend. I mean she looks like a day-shift hooker. Alright, she's attractive enough, but I promise you she's satan's slut. I don't know what he sees in her- I should invite him over the next time we're throwing a football party... tell him to leave her home.

You should go say hi, too, get to know him. Great guy. When I met him, he was outside painting her house. I felt like I should have told him to put some paint over the tramp stamp she's got on her lower back. Anyway, email me back and we'll see what's what. Maybe we can get him in on our paintball tournament? Great guy. I bet he'd tear that up. See you in church tomorrow.

- Bob
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: brigadoon
Oreo cookies and milk. Doughnuts and coffee. Cheese and wine. Yogurt and yogurt and yogurt.
They ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Are they all smarter than I am.
I'm allergic to that food. Did I never hear of predation? Do I not know the warmth of love. Am I Pinocchio with an outer coating of flesh. Who am I, "A" student, democrat, mother --- an imaginary creature?
How can I live in this world and not see what good and evil are? It's impossible.
You were first out on the plain. Chose wheat instead of meat. Avoided becoming a predator yourself. Built great cities and great civilizations.
I am from the misty coastlands, the islands. What you see in me is generations of good parents, a humane intelligent human. I could have it all- I don't desire it.
Riches are also gifts of the mind and heart, adventures, new frontiers, loving homes, creative endeavors, a backward look at your life feeling at peace with the universe
Blame it on generations of kind but pushy parents. I'm happy where I am.
I'll take artichokes, sweet potatoes, blackberries and beans whether I'm considered an "innocent" ot not.
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