clavus

One evening my son was chewing with his mouth open, so I told him, "Chew with your mouth closed."

He looked up at me in utter confusion, closed his mouth, clicked his teeth together sat motionless for a few moments. His face became more and more confused and frustrated. His jaw was locked in place. He was on the verge of tears when I figured out what was going on.

"Chew with your LIPS closed," I said.

A look of relief spread across his little face and he began happily chewing - his lips closed, but his mouth opening and closing behind them.

Sheesh!

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Redlemon

You have to love the literal mind of a child. My son should be getting to that age soon.

Clavus, you never disappoint...

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

canuckguy

hehe cute story! my pet peeve chewing with your mouth open!

joellp

My pet peeve as well. It never ceases to amaze me when you meet someone that seems professional, articulate, and generally well put-together and s/he starts chomping their food.

Funny story, though. I'll have to remember that when my kids hit that phase.

KellyC

Clavus, your short anecdotes about your kids makes me want to have kids of my own.

Shit, there's something you don't see a guy say every day...

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

clavus

Ya, well come over to my house at 6:15AM on Saturday and you can borrow mine. They'll already be up.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Mephisto2

Clavus is funny.


Mr Mephisto

KellyC

Damn, I would, but I live in Washington and I don't feel like driving for 10 hours

Mr Mephisto, I agree with you on this 100%.

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

adam

Little kids are wonderful.

water_boy1999

You never cease to amaze me clavus.

__________________
Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

avhg1

That is truly one of my peeves. It is very difficult to be around adults who do this. I work in computer support and am constantly helping people who are munching or chewing gum. Many of them will chew with their mouths open right next to my face. How rude! THANK YOU for teaching your children good manners!

Mr. Skillman

I tell you what...when i have to eat in my school's cafeteria three meals a day while sitting next to people who chew with their lips open....every bite gnaws at nerves. What also amazes me is the number of people who do it. We need more parents like Clavus.

__________________
There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to pet wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.
-(Hagakure, book 2)

Horace Patoot

I hear you, Skill. It grosses me out. Have you noticed how people yawn like hippos in their cars waiting for the light to change? Sheesh.

Try not to pet wet. (Also a fan of Ha Gakure. Some parts of it anyway.)

william

You're the parent - it's your job to make sure the youngun learns how to eat. If there's nothing worse than a cell-phone whore talkining mindlessly as they walk by, it's the dirtbag who chews w/his (her) mouth open.

bonehed1

LOL....I love the mind of a child, its so innocent and wonderful....this is one thing that drives me insane though when I go out to eat and if its not the kid its the frikin parent who is chomping away and all you see or hear is *smack* *smack* OMG CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH....some people just have no morals or just have dumbass parents who cant teach for crap.

__________________
Stuff is Good

avhg1

I just wonder how a parent can sit next to their child while he/she is sitting there going to town at full smack! I was in the doctor's waiting room the other day and there was this 13-14 girl chewing gum on the other side of the room (25'-30' away) and I couldn't even read a magazine. It was almost as if she was trying to exaggerate the noise. The worst part is that her mother was sitting right next to her. If it was my child, it would be one warning: chew with your mouth closed or the gum goes in the trash!

Cadwiz

I have two daughters. The oldest is 12, the youngest is 10. They are both very intelligent and well mannered, so much so that sometimes I forget they are so young. With that in mind, I am totally blindsided by how literal the take things somtimes.

__________________
Semper Fi

grendel

no kidding. i have a hell of a time waking them for school/preschool sometimes, but come Saturday they're up before dawn.

Cynthetiq

oh... damn. funny.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.