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Old 05-14-2003, 08:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
How much influence did your parents have?

After reading the razor blade tattooing thread I started wondering about parental influence. My parents had tremedous influence over me. Some of it good, some of it bad. Most of the bad I have discarded, some still lingers, but I'm working on that.

I am raising my children similarly to how I was raised, with moderate exceptions. I have learned from their example with how to handle disagreements with my wife, how to handle money, how to handle myself at work, etc. I have even been influenced by my wife's parents.

For the younger crowd here (sounding like an old guy again), you may think that you are not influenced at all, but you are fooling yourself. Trust me, I was there and it wasn't that long ago.

So, the question is how much did your parents influence your behavior as you were growing up and now that you are an adult with your own life, how much do you see their influence in your life now?
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Old 05-14-2003, 11:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: North Carolina
My parents influenced me tremendously, and still do. When I was growing up I fought them every step of the way, but they still rubbed off on me.
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Old 05-15-2003, 12:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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aw hell, I was/am scared shitless of my parents(read: mom). really crappy way to make your kid toe the line, but... it worked. :/ doesn't make more much of a relationship, or do much for the whole trust/love part, though, so I wouldn't advise it.

I'm working REALLY hard at changing that, btw, but 18 yrs of ingrained responses die hard. :shrug:
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Old 05-15-2003, 01:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Denver City Denver
I would love to be able to say that I am not like either of my parents... their fucking nuts.

But I know that I am growing up to be a mix of both of them.
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Old 05-15-2003, 01:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Drifting.
From my dad, i have picked up his habit of never lieing, but not always telling the truth.

from mom, i picked up the habit of not throwing stuff away.
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Old 05-15-2003, 01:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: pittsburgh, so to be elsewhere
I am glad my parents influenced me a lot; but they did not control at all. They just let me suffer the consequences of my actions early on as a child and loaded me with responsibilities to make me grow up for the real world. I still and always will follow many of the lessons they taught me.
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Old 05-15-2003, 02:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Teegeeack.
My parents influenced me a lot. I learned loyalty, independence, and how to treat a partner right.

Morals and ethics was a different story.
Let's just say that the film "Training Day" confused my dad. He couldn't see anything wrong with what Denzel Washington's character did.

Let's just say I've turned into a practical person.
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Old 05-15-2003, 04:26 AM   #8 (permalink)
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My Dad only genetically, he wasn't around.
I have his face, charm & sex drive.

My Mom, that's a whole other story.
She raised me all by herself. (except for 4 yrs with my grandparents)
She's my role model in how to treat other people.
With consideration & generosity.
And how to treat ladies...now this has had some good & bad effects.
Sometimes I place them more on a pedestal than they deserve,
And I give them more credit than they are due.

So if you are wondering who made me the "nice guy" & "romantic",
She’s the guilty party.
If you are wondering who gave me my work ethic,
That’s probably my grandparents
And if you are wondering who gave my "devil", my wild side, my "karazma"
Then that's my dad in me.

Thus the original geek/stud.

Last edited by rogue49; 05-15-2003 at 04:29 AM..
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Old 05-15-2003, 05:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Up yonder
My parents influenced me tremendously all through my life and still do. They are the most positive force in my life. I was lucky and had the "perfect" childhood, wanted for nothing and grew up surrounded by love and security and opportunity. My Mom taught me the virtues of respect and quiet strength; my Dad taught me the virtue of hard work and humor. I try to raise my boys the way I was raised and I hope I can do half as good as job as my parents did.
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Old 05-15-2003, 09:31 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Chicagoland
Parents (or primary caregivers) always exert an influence on their children. That's why I think one should have to be licensed to become a parent (tongue only partly in cheek here).

My Dad: Intelligent, jovial, caring (in re:family), very straight- laced, conservative, hardworking, co-dependent.

Mom: Intelligent, humorless, self-centered, neurotic, highly judgemental, mentally ill.

Me: Intelligent, jovial, caring, judgemental, hardworking, working on my neuroses.

I may sound like the *ungrateful child.* I guess that could be true. My father chose a highly damaged person with whom to procreate.

It's way too late for me to be angry at him or my mother. Children love their parents no matter how crappy the parenting- and mine were not that bad.
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Old 05-15-2003, 10:03 AM   #11 (permalink)
pow!
 
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Location: NorCal
If it wasn't for my Dad, I wouldn't have a twisted sense of humor. Thanks, Dad!
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Old 05-15-2003, 10:35 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: USA
My parents tried exceedingly (too) hard to be good parents.
They dedicated their lives to it.

But nothing at all rubbed off on me compared to the amount of mass-media brainwashing I integrated into my psyche. All of my friends were equally immersed in it. Now, they say things like their parents raised them well and as for pop culture mind control they say they are beyond it. Of course, I don't believe it for a minute, since they surround themselves with popular culture nearly their entire waking lives as we all do.
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Old 05-15-2003, 10:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Bakersfield...The rest stop town
Its kinda freaky how much they rubbed off on me. I took little parts from each of my parents. My dad occasionally drinking, yet responsible and always gets his work done. My mom was more of the moral side, and treating people the way I wanted to be treated. My sister on the other hand, that girl is the complete opposite.
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Old 05-15-2003, 03:37 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Everything bad in my life I learned from my parents. My father's ambition drove me into my profession and my mother's creativity has rubbed off to some extent, which was good. Most of the good things in my life I have either learned from others, from a strict education or developed through my curiosity honed by needing to be anywhere else but home.

I'm not trashing my parents per se. I doubt that they knew any better at the time. They were like fire and gasoline. I think the hard times probably taught me a lot and made me stronger. I have gone to great lengths to erase their negative influence on me, but am still a work in progress.

I think the best evidence of the disconnect between my parents and me is the total lack of knowledge that either of them have about who I am. Neither of them has a clue about my nature, thoughts, dreams or obsessions. Its not that any of my "essence" is hidden, they just don't care to know. C'est La Vie.
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Old 05-15-2003, 03:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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they have had major influence on myself and still do. especially since I still live with em, too

like many ohers, some stuff i ignore 100%, some stuff I'm their twin, yadyadayada. what i hope to get and be when i am a father is most of their patience with puting up with 3 kids, one his whole life (me), and not killing any of us.

i just don't want to be as protective as they are........

oh..... though i'm a Christian, my kids WILL be exposed to culure and religionS. i never, ever want my child to be a closed book or be ignorant of religions and other's culture.

that was my biggest gripe most of my teen years. i've always had an imense interest with demonology and five years ago i could have told you anything about any religion.

main thing above all others is to be a GOOD parent. love the kids, be their friend, but be their PARENT. know when being their pal is a no-no.

when i have a kid i'll probably chhange every idea i have. so shrug
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Old 05-15-2003, 05:08 PM   #16 (permalink)
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My parents were the primary influence in my life other than self-motivation...which they strongly encouraged. I hope I am like them in most ways. If I have any kids in the future, they would be lucky if I am anything like my parents.
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Old 05-15-2003, 06:44 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Northeast Ohio
My parents were a wonderful influence...I was always trying to do everything to please them. They sacrificed a lot to make our lives better and to make sure I had everything I ever needed...I think my parenting skills are a lot like my Mothers and I am proud of that. She has passed away but I still have my Father and I still respect everything he says.
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Old 05-15-2003, 06:44 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Location: Switzerland
I don't think they had too much influence on me. Of course one copies a lot of things subconsciously, but I was a quiet, reclusive kid, and opened up only much later. During that time I really explored myself, and learned most things on my own. There's no better way to avoid (negative) influence than to go out of influences way.
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Old 05-15-2003, 07:10 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Stillwater, OK
I inherited a lot of stuff from my parents. My dad's given me a couple of his manerisms, his catch phrases ("Golly"), and his taste in clothes and music (from when he was young). I wear a lot of his old jeans and shirts. I got lucky and recieved his work ethic too.
My mom's taught me not to be too much like her (or my dad) and has let me be me. She's given my a lot of conservative (but practical) morals and always works to get me to be more independent.
I think they both did an ok job.
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Old 05-16-2003, 11:01 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Raleigh, NC / Atlanta, GA
My Dad has been one of the greatest influences in my life. I can turn to him for advice on almost everything. My mom has been a great influence as well, she has always been there for me and my siblings.

My mom tells me everyday that I act just like my Dad and while I sometimes blow it off, it really makes me glad that I am becoming more like the man I respect the most. Not to say I'm turning into a carbon copy, I'm just adopting his manerisms and general attitude on life.
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Old 05-16-2003, 11:21 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Loki
From my dad, i have picked up his habit of never lieing, but not always telling the truth.

from mom, i picked up the habit of not throwing stuff away.
Weird. That's almost exactly what I was going to say.

The strange thing about it is, no matter what you do, no matter how different from your parents you try to be, you will never be rid of their influence. Kinda scary when you think about it.
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Old 05-17-2003, 06:54 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: The Land o'Toxins and Wudder
From my father I got too many things. I got the smartass, practical joker, book loving, procrastinating, sarcastic, honest, violently political side of myself.
From my mother; well, I'm still trying to figure that out.
From my grandmother who lived with us for years, I got everything that might make me slightly redeemable in the eyes of humanity.
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Old 05-17-2003, 08:40 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
My father is honest, decent, and hard-working. He does not bluff, ever. Also, he never laid a hand on me. Sheriff Andy Taylor could have been modeled after my dad.

My mother is a high-strung, emotional, defensive motormouth.

Do you want to guess which one I want to be like, and which one I ended up like?
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Old 05-25-2003, 07:47 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: Clarkson U.
I am 18, and I realize that me parents affected my a lot. How could they not? Their entire job as parents is to ready me for the real world, both in morals, and being a benefit to society.

On another note, I constatly find myself sounding exactly like my father...Similar thought/speach paterns etc. Scares the hall out of me every time...

(My father is extremely fair and well balanced... But he never hesitated to use force when it became obviouse that nothing else was going to work...Didn't ever take long with me )
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