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Old 07-18-2005, 12:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
Infants and soothers

Does everyone use these?

Personally, I hate them. They look terrible and I'm not sure I want my child to have one. According to my own mother, myself and my brothers never had them.

On the other hand, from what I hear, they can be very useful in settling down a restless child.

One thing is for certain. If I do end up having to use them, my child won't have it for long. One thing I can't stand is seeing 3 or 4 year olds wandering around with them in their mouth. Blah!

Anyway... thoughts on these devices? Useful? Recommended? Or terrible?

Mr Mephisto
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Old 07-18-2005, 01:15 AM   #2 (permalink)
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sed a soother ("dummy" in England) for my daghter when she was very small. Once she got to age ~2 she was allowed it in the house only. At ~3 she was allowed it in bed only.

We tied hers onto the corner of an 18" muslin square that she called her "raggy" and it was only really used as a comfrter and wiping up thing.

One of the comon lies about soothers is tat they are bad for dental development - my fater's a dentist and he insists that this is utter crap.
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Old 07-18-2005, 04:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
What can I say? We had a soother sitting in its package for the first three weeks on the change table because we didn't want to use it. Finally, during a fit of unconsolable crying we cracked it open and haven't looked back since. Soothers are truly the crack cocaine of an infants world.

Sometimes our son is upset because he's upset and just needs to switch gears in order calm down. This is how we use the soother.

Because we don't want a walking, talking toddler with a soother, at 7 months we've already cut down on its use. He can now go to sleep without it.

I think they are a valuable tool in a parent's arsenal. However, like television, excersaucers, Barney etc..., they should only be used in moderation.
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Old 07-18-2005, 04:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
Location: LI,NY
Both of my children used a soother. My daughter only until 18 months and my son until he was about 2 1/2. He was more dependent on it then she was, I thought he'd never get rid of it. But finally he did. Some children need it more than others. I know someone whose children did not take it at all and there were times she wished they did. She was unable to find something to comfort them. I also know some parents who insisted on taking it away by a certain age, but the children were not ready to give it up and it they went through a very difficult time. Everyone, parent and child, were very stressed. Every child is different. You have to do what is right for you and the baby. Some people will agree with you, and some will not, just do what you feel is right.
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Old 07-18-2005, 06:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Babies naturally want to suck, it's a comfort/security and bonding thing. I was against soothers until I realised that my daughter wanted to continually feed. I noticed however, that she was not looking for a feed, that was how she wanted to sleep and I couldn't walk around with her 'attached' to me 24/7. A soother was my only option at sleep times and worked wonders.

The soother was used for the first year mainly.. beyond that a soother was not necessary during her days when she was awake. I watched for signs as she grew older, when I noticed she was not as reliant on the soother, removal was encouraged.

One other thing I did notice, if the soother was not handy the thumb would take it's place. My brother was a thumbsucker his whole life (to 19 years). I think breaking the habit of a soother is easier than breaking the thumb-sucking habit...
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Old 07-18-2005, 11:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
Thanks for all the advice guys.

I guess that a soother is preferable to thumb sucking, so I'll add one to my list of purchases over the next week!

Mr Mephisto
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Old 07-19-2005, 04:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Where morons reign supreme
My niece has never liked binkies (what I call them), my son loved his and it was a sanity saver for us. We gradually stopped using it except at bedtime and naptime about 18 months and when he was two took it away for good....he was a little saddened but he was ready. Every child is different, and I think that any tool you can use to make yours and the baby's transition a little easier and smoother is a good thing.
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Old 07-19-2005, 04:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
never heard a pacie called that lol

manda had her pacifier until she was almost 2....we had a couple early on...one in the crib, one in the diaper bag, one in the car we never replaced them...as they broke they were GONE right before her 2nd birthday her car on broke and she threw it away on her own and never looked back.

She mainly used hers while sleeping....she was too busy any other time to care

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Old 07-19-2005, 07:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I have never been able to get my babies to use one. (We, btw, commonly refer to them as "binkies" in our family.) Only one child sucked her thumb. Baby Lebell looks like he enjoys sucking the side of his hand. I wouldn't mind him using one; but he will have nothing to do with it.
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Old 07-20-2005, 03:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Sydney, Australia
I had grand plans of not using one, but the temptation of having *anything* that calmed him down made us relent - ours is almost exclusively a bed thing, though he has an ear infection at the moment, and it did help to lower the amount of screaming.

I think it will start to be weaned out soon (he has just turned one).

We rarely take them out of the house.
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Old 07-20-2005, 06:06 AM   #11 (permalink)
Thanks again.

Yes, today is the due date, but nothing is appearing just yet.

I'm rather thankful as tonight was a family affair and I had quite a few glasses of wine to drink. That coupled with the inclement weather outside makes the prospect of driving an emotional wife, in labour, in pain and probably in bad humour, to the hospital not on the top of my list of favourite things to do.

Mrs Mephisto's Da and brother are both going away this weekend so, with any luck, we'll have a little delivery before then. Just as long as it's not in the next 8 hours!

Mr Mephisto
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Old 07-20-2005, 08:51 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Calgary
I had my "dummy" until I was three years old. It didn't bother me at all, just my parents and they just threw it out and told me that the garbage man took it. I would recommend it but not to the extent I had it, theres a point that I should of had it taken away at an earlier age. Oh and I started having it when I was a few months old.... but don't quote me on that.
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Old 07-20-2005, 01:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hehe...ohhhh streak


I never had one, my brother's never had one. I think my mom breastfed us at juuuust the right times to ease any tension that would cause a need for...sucking. However, I was breastfed until I was 2. Haha, my poor mother.

I know a little girl, bottlefed, soothered and plopped into daycare at a young age. She's 3, still has her soother. Probably a comfort thing but I'd be worried about the way her teeth and jaw are developing.
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Old 07-20-2005, 05:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
Location: San Antonio, TX
All of my kids used pacifiers for awhile, then gave them up before turning 1 year old. None of them became seriously 'attached' to their paci. Our youngest daughter (2) sucks her thumb almost continually now, though. I'd rather she were addicted to the pacifier, because we could take that away. :-)

I'm sure she'll probably work it out eventually, though. She's just stuck on the 'sucking' thing a lot longer than her older brothers did.
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Old 07-24-2005, 04:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
pío pío
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Location: on a branch about to break
Originally Posted by Mr Mephisto
One thing I can't stand is seeing 3 or 4 year olds wandering around with them in their mouth. Blah!
i keep one hidden in my pocket when we go out in public, just in case there's a meltdown. i prefer the sight of a child with a pacifier to sound of the demon scream.

(with the exception of a rare public outburst, < once per month) mr. 18 month old uses it only in bed, and he has to have two... one for the mouth and one just in case....

i think we started him around 4 months old when mom was feeling like a human pacifier. she breast fed up 'til 1 year and he weaned himself.
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Old 07-25-2005, 01:42 PM   #16 (permalink)
Location: London, UK
I can't stand to see 3 or 4 year olds with them either. We started out with the intention of never using one but relaxed our ideal pretty swiftly as an alternative to going insane. We got away with using it sparingly and by the time he was a year old we'd already established a 'night-time only' rule. He was however very dependent on it and would howl the house down if he didn't have it to go to sleep with, or if he dropped it out of the cot during the night.

We then hit upon a great ruse to phase it out completely. As he was coming up to his rite of passage out of a cot and into a real bed at around 2yrs old we started trailing this idea - that he was a big boy now - that he'd soon be getting a big bed, which was very exciting and - by the way - dummies aren't allowed in big beds. We repeating this over a period of a few weeks and he seemed to be fairly accepting of it. Even then we thought it was still a long shot but come the big day on his first night on the new bed it worked like a dream, and he has never had a dummy in his mouth from that day to this.

This may not work on any other child but I offer it an an idea.

Or failing that you could always douse the teat in vinegar
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: on a branch about to break
^ dude.... that is a good trick for phasing out.
any one have any other ones?
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Old 07-26-2005, 09:04 PM   #18 (permalink)
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My first daughter used a paci from birth. It was the only one of it's kind....couldn't get her to change once she had the one she liked, and couldn't find a replacement anywhere!! One day while sitting on the porch, it fell, and Nana picked it up and sucked on it and it blew up in her mouth. The paci had appearently gotten two different splits in it and the rubber from the inner part blew up into my Moms' mouth when she sucked on it. Well the babe was 6 months old, and wouldn't take anything else, so what to do? I had read somewhere that clipping a paci down little by little would help wean them of it, so I clipped it down past the bad parts and gave it to her...she never took it again, and never whined for it after that either!! I was in shock and wished I had tried it sooner, cuz she didn't really 'need' it people just liked to put it in her mouth and she liked to play with it mostly.

My second daughter wouldn't take one at all. We'd tried different ones, she'd play with them in her mouth, get mad if they fell, but never really sucked on it, so we just went without. It was hard to imagine at the time (only 3 years ago, when I didn't realize it wasn't a requirment...haha) that she didn't want it, but she let me know!!

This baby will be breastfed, and hopefully I will be able to do so without having to introduce a paci. The only reason I say that is I'm worried about nipple confusion and all that jazz. We shall see how it goes, if there she seems to be pacifying herself with mama, I might just have to save myself the hassle and give in
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Old 07-27-2005, 06:44 AM   #19 (permalink)
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both of my kids used a "nummie" until they were about 2 or 2 and half. I can't remember when my son stopped but we just weaned my daughter off hers about three weeks ago.

From about the age of 1.5 to 2 she was only allowed to have one in bed and only in her bed (motivation to make her sleep in her own bed rather than sneaking into ours). She would also have somewhere between 3 and 6 of them at a time and would alternate them so she could have the one that was coolest in her mouth at any given time... (apparently her mother used to do this when she was a baby).

I actually read up on this and from what I've read, doctors say it is fine for them to have a pacifier until they are around 3 years old. After that it should be discouraged (mostly because of dental development).

Just make sure you get the silicone ones as they don't deteriorate like rubber potentially passing toxins to the child and make sure they are the ones that are made to minimize the effect on the teeth... the "nuk" brand is the one we used.

If the baby hasn't been born yet you guys are probably about a week overdue... then again, I haven't seen you on the board lately so you probably have your hands full right about now...
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Old 07-31-2005, 11:44 PM   #20 (permalink)
Originally Posted by Charlatan
If the baby hasn't been born yet you guys are probably about a week overdue... then again, I haven't seen you on the board lately so you probably have your hands full right about now...

Our lovely Mephistette was born last week via emergency, but entirely successful, Caesarian.

This is my first time online in a week...

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Old 08-01-2005, 01:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
My daughter is now 29 months old and still uses one when she's very tired. It's always on our terms, however. Sometimes she asks for it when she gets a little upset, but we don't allow it. My wife is due in 5 weeks with our 2nd and I'm thinking that there must be a way we can use this as a way to phase her out of using it (though it might ultimately make her want to use it more if she feels insecure about a new brother or sister)
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Old 08-09-2005, 06:08 PM   #22 (permalink)
My children were both different when it came to pacifiers, like some of the ones already mentioned.

My daughter had no interest in one at all, ever.

My son on the other hand...he was colicky, and I firmly believe babies with colicky tendencies are soothed by that sucking, when little else helps. I slowly weaned him from it at about a year, and luckily didn't have a hard time with it.

I agree that it's distasteful to see a child much older than that walking around with one in its mouth. To me, it's like the parent just wants to quiet the child, and they go with the easiest solution.
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Old 09-01-2005, 07:48 PM   #23 (permalink)
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My family calls them "plugf" for obvious reasons, and my little boy Ethan used his alot, even having favorite types. We weaned him off .. only for bed or in the car ( where he quickly falls asleep when tired), then just stopped giving them. For maybe 3 days he would ask for it and we told him it was gone. A month or so alter, he now sometimes says "plug.. all gone".
He does however still have his Pooh Bear that is his security blanket.

My daughter never liked a plug, but sucks her thumb ( which ethan never really did),and Zoe has a blanket... as a security blanket.
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Old 10-04-2005, 07:43 AM   #24 (permalink)
Well, here I am 9 weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby daughter, and I have to admit that soothers are worth their weight in gold.

I don't want to rely upon them TOO much, but I think I'm quite happy using them for the moment!

Mr Mephisto
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Old 10-05-2005, 04:14 PM   #25 (permalink)
Location: Michigan
All 3 of my daugters have had them. What really sucks is when they decide the one that they like is discontinued and you can't find another anywhere. Both of the older girls got rid of theirs around a year old and the 6 week old baby, well, she still uses hers .
Patterns have a habit of repeating themselves.
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Old 12-04-2005, 02:38 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
Nothing really to add here, but our 1 year old, who was a major soother junkie, completely kicked the habit. This past week he had a particularily rough patch of teething and began refusing the soother for comfort. Now that he's through it, he doesn't want it at all. So just like that it's gone. Amazing and fascinating.
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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Old 12-04-2005, 09:09 PM   #27 (permalink)
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
My siblings and I were never given binkies/pacifiers. My mom was strictly against it. My nephew never had one, but his little brother and sister do. His brother is 3 now, and as far as I know, he still has a binkie. It drives us crazy when he tries to talk with it in his mouth.

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Old 12-04-2005, 09:19 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: Lowerainland BC
don't worry if your children use soothers or not....it's not like they'll be using them forever.
my kids had a couple, but they never really cared for them.
nice line eh?
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