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Old 01-09-2004, 06:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
The Griffin
 
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Governmentium

A major research institution has recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does
not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.
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Old 01-09-2004, 07:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: On the front lines against our very enemy
LOL!! Shouldn't this be in the humor thread tho?
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Old 01-09-2004, 08:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: VA
"Critical Morass"

Love it.

I submit that this joke is best suited for "science-inclined" government agencies, such as NASA, NOAA, and the EPA.
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Old 01-09-2004, 09:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Well done!
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Old 01-09-2004, 10:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
I'll leave it here because this place needs to lighten up
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Old 01-09-2004, 01:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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that's why it's here!!!
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Old 01-09-2004, 02:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario for now....
very nice and well needed
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Old 01-09-2004, 03:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Nice, non- partisan nose-tweaking. Thanx, Hanx!
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