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Old 02-12-2004, 06:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How To Be A Good Republican

Fair is fair! How to be a good Republican:


1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread because people are evil and should be punished.


2. You have to believe that the evolution is a myth that shouldn't be taught in schools, despite the evidence of biochemistry and the fossil record.


3. You have to believe that there is no causal link between legal, easily-obtainable handguns and high murder rates.


4. You have to believe that global temperatures are completely unaffected by fossil fuel emissions, that the best way to save the national forests is to allow logging companies to cut down old-growth timber, and the best way to save endangered species is to allow trophy hunters and wildlife traders to import more of them.


5. You have to believe that homosexuality is evil (despite the fact that it occurs in nature) and that women should stay at home to cook and bear children.


6. You have to be against abortion but support capital punishment.


7. You have to believe that businesses never purposely hurt anyone to make money.


8. You have to believe that hunting requires an automatic rifle.


9. You have to believe that inherited wealth is more important than actually doing something to earn it.


10. You have to believe that war is an acceptable solution to any economic or social problem.


11. You have to believe that everyone should support the troops - except when it comes to paying them.


12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.


13. You have to believe that taxes are for poor and middle class people, not the rich.


14. You have to believe that affirmative action is wrong, while still supporting discrimination against minorities.


15. You have to believe that Ann Coulter is normal and really a very nice person.


16. You have to believe that the only reason supply-side economics hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.


17. You have to believe liberals telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and draft-dodger belongs in the White House.


18. You have to believe that the Ten Commandments should be displayed in every public building regardless of the fact that not everyone in America is a Christian.


19. You have to believe that illegal Republican Party funding by corporations is somehow in the best interest of the United States.


20. You have to believe that the media are biased toward liberals, despite the fact that all the major media outlets are owned by ultra-rich conservatives.
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Old 02-12-2004, 07:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
eat more fruit
 
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Re: How To Be A Good Republican

Quote:
Originally posted by Nizzle




6. You have to be against abortion but support capital punishment.


LoL That's the best one.
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Old 02-12-2004, 07:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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1. Mainly because people are either ignorant to the disease (Africa) or are fucking idiots and don't use protection.

2. Nice shot at Christians, but for the most part the various churches have found evolution and the big bang consist with creation.

3. You have to be ignorant to the fact that violent crime spikes in countries that have regulated guns.

4. I'm not going to lie, I'm completely ignorant to the enviroment.

5. Infanticide is natural to, lets have at it! And as it goes just because the majority of republicans disagree with homosexuality doesn't mean we think that they are evil.

6. Yeah I support the death of miserable fuck up murderers. And get this I am agains the systematic genocide of helpless babies. Wow I'm really out of line there.

7. Fair enough

8. I was watching South Park tonight... "Its coming right for us!!!"

9.Doesn't matter if money is inherited or not, it belongs to the people, its not the governments place to take it.

10. I don't get what war you are referring to. In Afganistan we fucked up some bitches who harbored terrorists that perpetrated the greatest domestic attack since PEarl Harbor on a civilian population... don't think we were out of line there. Iraq was doctrine carried over from Bush Sr. and Clinton, not really in response to anything that has happened within this administration.

11. Who's not paying them? This is a common misconception. Bush only cut the growth not their actual pay or benefits. And with saying that they still got an increase in pay.

12. The NRA guards one amendment specifically. The ACLU is selective and opportunistic in their defending on the constitution.

13. The top ten percent of America's wealthiest pay 60+% of the taxes, the Top 3% pay something like 36% of the taxes. Get serious, your ignorance is disturbing.

14. Affirmitive Action is misguided and poorly used. BTW it's not the republicans that keep the poor on the doll and thus ensuring their votes.

15. Ann Coultier is a nut job.

16. ???

17. Are you talking about CLinton or Bush here?

18. Not just republicans but close to 75% of the population agrees with the Ten Commandments being displayed. I don't like how the voice of one person can ruin something for the voice of the many.

19 & 20. w/e
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Old 02-12-2004, 07:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:

17. You have to believe liberals telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and draft-dodger belongs in the White House.
I did NOT vote for Clinton sir!
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Old 02-12-2004, 07:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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They aren't supposed to be arguments that stand up to scrutiny, but if it makes one righty waste 15 minutes of their life debunking it, then kudos.

Call it a straw man platoon. That's why it's funny.
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Old 02-12-2004, 08:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Well the thing is, that most of the Democratic points do stand up to scrutiny.
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Old 02-12-2004, 08:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.
 
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Only to a partisan hack who honestly thinks liberals are the tools of satan. are you?
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Old 02-12-2004, 08:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mojo_PeiPei
Well the thing is, that most of the Democratic points do stand up to scrutiny.
/sarcasm ?
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Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."
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Old 02-12-2004, 09:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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No, I'm dead serious. I realize that the democrat thread was a joke. But there is a lot of truth to many of those points. I'll concede that it is probably all perspective however.
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Old 02-12-2004, 09:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.
 
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No, you see, there is NO truth in any of that. It is a caricature of what some partisan hack THINKS a democrat is.
The view is first warped by the authors own already biased perception and then obviously warped again on purpose to make democrats look worse.

I itch to want to go in there and deconstruct that post point, by lousy point. But I can't give something like that the validation that a serious response bestows.
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Old 02-12-2004, 09:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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A serious response to a joke is in bad taste. We ought to be able to laugh at ourselves in much the same way that we laugh at our disagreeable colleagues. I'd consider it a shame if a thread like this existed only for one side or the other.
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Old 02-12-2004, 09:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Superbelt
Only to a partisan hack who honestly thinks liberals are the tools of satan. are you?
Dude, i'm sorry man, but we ARE the tools of satan, and we have nightly fantasies of destroying america in it's entirety. You just can't argue with reason.

shrugs

I've dealt with it.

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If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

Last edited by mystmarimatt; 02-12-2004 at 10:08 PM..
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Old 02-12-2004, 09:55 PM   #13 (permalink)
This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.
 
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Well, it is a goal of ours to get Benedict Arnold, Karl Marx and Satan on Mt. Rushmore.

Just like the Republicans want to get Reagan up there.

Same thing really, just different name.
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Old 02-12-2004, 10:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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At least we all can admit it.
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Old 02-12-2004, 10:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Don't forget Stalin.

He was the shit, man.
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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.
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Old 02-12-2004, 10:11 PM   #16 (permalink)
Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
 
Location: UCSB
Quote:
Originally posted by mystmarimatt
Dude, i'm sorry man, but we ARE the tools of satan, and we have nightly fantasies of destroying america in it's entirety. You just can't argue with reason.

shrugs

I've dealt with it.

Dude, quit giving away our gameplan.
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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."
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Old 02-12-2004, 10:11 PM   #17 (permalink)
This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.
 
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Location: Grantville, Pa
I dunno, it'll get crowded.

We may have to carve him over Washington.

What's Washington done for us lately anyway?
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Old 02-12-2004, 10:17 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Location: Oreegawn
Quote:
Originally posted by nanofever
Dude, quit giving away our gameplan.
Shit! my bad!
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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.
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Old 02-12-2004, 11:28 PM   #19 (permalink)
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oh shnaps call in teh feds its over !
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Old 02-12-2004, 11:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Sad really, fighting over who's right and who's wrong..... just leads to more hatred and nothing being done about the true problems in society.

The right blames the left........ left blames the right neither wants to truly listen to the other and so nothing gets done except the loss of more freedoms.

When is enough hatred enough? When we start taking arms and have a Civil War to prove who is right? When do we put aside political parties and ask WHAT THE HELL IS BEING DONE AND WHERE ARE ALL OUR FREEDOMS? Why can we not put all this hatred energy into solving true problems like education, poverty, health crisis, restoring our infrastructures, rebuilding industries making sure that WE THE GREATEST COUNTRY EARTH HAS EVER SEEN REGAINS AND HOLDS ONTO THAT HIGH STANDARD OF LIVING OUR GRANDPARENTS HELD AND EVERY GENERATION BEFORE THE GREEDY BABY BOOMERS BETTERED?

GO ON FIGHT KEEP FIGHTING OVER WHO'S RIGHT AND WHO'S WRONG. GO ON KEEP TRYING TO DESTROY AND DEFAME EACH OTHER.......... IT KEEPS US FROM WATCHING THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF GOOD DECENT PAYING JOBS BEING LOST AND HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF MINIMUM WAGE PART TIME TEMP JOBS BEING CREATED. GO ON KEEP FIGHTING SO THAT WE CAN HAVE BOTH PARENTS WORK 3 JOBS TO SUPPORT OUR FAMILIES, WHILE THE CEO'S CLEAN UP AND MAKE MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS LAYING OFF HARD WORKING MEN AND WOMEN.

I used to be proud to say I was an American...... I used to be proud of what my country stood for........ I used to be proud that this was the greatest country on Earth where a poor man could become a scholar and businessman................. BUT NOT ANYMORE. TOO MUCH HATRED LIVES IN THIS COUNTRY..... TOO MUCH PETTINESS OVER PROBLEMS THAT EXIST ONLY IN THE HEADS OF THOSE WHO WANT SO BADLY TO PROVE THIER WAY IS THE ONLY WAY WHILE WE SPEND AND GO INTO DEBT FOR OUR CHILDREN AND THIER CHILDREN TO PAY.

NO THE ONLY THING THAT IS KEEPING AMERICA FROM BECOMING A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY AND HAVING JAPAN, CHINA, THE U.K. GERMANY AND SO ON FROM COMING IN AND COLLECTING THE MONEY WE OWE THEM IS WE HAVE BIGGER GUNS.

THAT'S WHAT ROME THOUGHT ONCE ALSO...............................
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
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Old 02-13-2004, 12:06 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Oh and for those who say "don't like it here leave.....or some such BS" reread the post and think who the true patriot is and who chooses to live the hate and says "fuck people who won't believe what I believe."
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
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Old 02-13-2004, 12:46 AM   #22 (permalink)
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I can't see any reason for this thread but to respond to trouble making but to make more trouble.

Locked.
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