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Old 06-04-2003, 06:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: somewhere cool
Online personals?

Lame? Cheating? A good resource?

It seems like it would be easy.


What do you think>
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Old 06-04-2003, 06:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: SoCal
Risky. Lots of losers. Can score.
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Old 06-04-2003, 08:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
COMPLETED and A TRAINER
 
Location: BEAN_TOWN
I met my ultimate mate..I was looking for something specific and qualities I truly believe in and live by..I was truthful in my ad, didn't add any BS, and was looking for the same. And in a couple of months of Blah stuff, overly done ads, wishy washy statements in ads..The world for me changed forever. My soulmate..Love..and Partner was before me.
For the record I used LAVALIFE, paid 10 dollars. All from the advice of a fellow member here on TFP. I can never thanx JD enough.
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Old 06-05-2003, 03:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Third World
Online personals were good when they were still free. Lavalife and Match and all other pay-serives are BS.

DOTCOMMUNISM LIVES!!!!
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Old 06-05-2003, 03:39 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Vancouver, BC
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Last edited by lady; 09-05-2004 at 02:22 PM..
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Old 06-05-2003, 04:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Wisconsin, USA
I found my wife on lavalife as well, although it had a different name at the time.

That's the good part. The reality is she is the 14th person I met thru online dating services after a 1 1/2 years of looking, and the ONLY one that could be termed "normal". For her, I was the only respondant (in the short time she'd been listed) that hadn't sent some sort of perverted propostion as an introduction.

With all the women I met, I went thru a system of email, then phone then a meeting if we thought it was appropriate. I mean lots of emails, and phone calls first. Even so, as I progressed thru each step they appeared completely different ie. the email personality was nothing like the phone which as nothing like what they were in person. They all misrepresented themselves, but each time they seemed like they just might be worth the trouble until I met them. Some didn't even get that far, and aren't counted in the 14 I mentioned.

Bottom line is it can work, but it takes dedication, caution and a whole truckload of skeptisism. Don't take anything at face value and don't pin all your hopes on the first contact you make, because it probably won't be the last one.
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Old 06-05-2003, 06:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: somewhere cool
very educating.
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Old 06-05-2003, 09:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Kingston,Ontario
Quote:
Originally posted by mtsgsd
Bottom line is it can work, but it takes dedication, caution and a whole truckload of skeptisism. Don't take anything at face value and don't pin all your hopes on the first contact you make, because it probably won't be the last one.
Good advice. But that's what any dating is all about, even fixer-uppers.

Point is, though, your gonna make contacts. Work on your profile and don't be afraid to change it if it isn't working.

For awhile I tried LavaLife and Dreammates at the same time. I even made an "alternate" identity that was more interested in sex than a relationship. I think I got more "hits" with that one than the more normal "I just want to cuddle" one. I always told the girls to check out the other profile too.

I met a MILF that just wanted to exchange naughty email. That was fun for awhile.
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Old 06-05-2003, 09:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
I met my fiance through online personals, though she was definately one of a kind.. I did also meet several others that while chatting seemed to be what I was looking for, once I met them, there was no chemistry whatsoever.

Just takes a lot of time and patience as well as trial and error before you meet that "perfect" person. Though I really don't think thats very different from meeting people in real life as well.
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Old 06-06-2003, 04:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: DC
Quote:
Originally posted by LutherMac

Just takes a lot of time and patience as well as trial and error before you meet that "perfect" person. Though I really don't think thats very different from meeting people in real life as well.
If that's the case, you might as well see real live people then.

Never had to do online personals, wouldn't ever recommend it. Get out there and meet people.
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Old 06-06-2003, 04:45 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Wisconsin, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by LutherMac
Though I really don't think thats very different from meeting people in real life as well.
Very true, but the point I was trying to make is that it's a very different experience with online dating. You can spend quite a while conversing via email or phone before you actually meet, and it's so easy to build up unrealistic expectations while ignoring things that you'll swear later were obvious red flags.

If you try not to waste your time, and make sure someone is actually worth meeting, you are going to be really excited the first time you do it. She will seem perfect. She probably won't be when you meet her though.

Quote:
Originally posted by clockworkgreen
If that's the case, you might as well see real live people then.
If that works for you then go for it! Some people like myself aren't always comfortable doing that in the first place, and in the second place not everyone is in a position to meet new people easily. Maybe because of their work schedule, or they don't like clubs/bars etc. For some of us, online service are the way to go.
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Old 06-06-2003, 05:27 AM   #12 (permalink)
Dubya
 
Location: VA
People don't have accents on these services or in e-mail. Talk to them on the phone before meeting them. Beware!!
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Old 06-06-2003, 05:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
Sir
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Talking to someone on the phone is a great way to get to know someone, especially in long distance relationships. You can build up great communication skills that most people take years to gain living together. :: not that I would know ::
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Old 06-06-2003, 09:51 AM   #14 (permalink)
Loser
 
"looking for someone to get wasted with"

swear i saw that one in the washington post. HA!!!!
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Old 06-08-2003, 07:32 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Right here, right now.
I've been using this sort of thing for over a year. The fact is, in this day and age, many people don't have the opportunity to meet potential partners in their everyday life. Online personals fill a need there. In the time I've had my profiles up, I've had one short-term relationship (fell apart when the girl got kicked out of the country and her mood went to pieces - I wasn't able to cheer her up) and I've been lucky enough to make a few good friends out of it as well.

One thing I would mention is that a lot of people who do use them would seem, from their profiles, to be looking for an instant "GOSH WOW" connection - and they behave that way on meeting. In my opinion, that's a mistake. Sometimes of course it's obvious that it's just not going to happen, ever, but there will be a few people you might meet who you might not feel an instant, overwhelming attraction towards but could be good to hang out with. You never know what can come from these people. I'm very aware that my ex-wife - who I spent eleven years together with and who is still a good friend - and I were nothing more than good friends for the first six months that we knew each other, and our relationship grew out of that.

Also, someone you meet might have first-date nerves and not be at their best!
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Old 06-12-2003, 11:46 PM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
I've tried the whole on-line dating thing and so far it's been pretty dissapointing, often times people look nothing like their picture in person........ It's sorta the same as in real life though.....it takes a lot of looking to find someone you want to committ your time to building a relationship with.......I haven't met any psychos yet (knock on wood) but no keepers either. It's worth a try though...you'll definately be able to find a date...it beats sitting at home and chatting on forums and looking at porn!
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Old 06-21-2003, 08:54 PM   #17 (permalink)
Upright
 
I'm currently on lavalife and haven't really made any worthwhile connections as of yet. Talked with one on the phone, another on IM and currently emailing someone. I can't say that I'm truely disappointed by my experiences so far cause like everything else, it will take time and effort. The one thing with online dating is that you have some assurity that the other person is looking for the same things you are.....more than you can say for chatting with the random person at the bar.
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Old 06-22-2003, 06:43 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Location: Northeast Ohio
I think it just depends on the situation...But, in my experience, they were not good...My soon to be ex-husband thought it would be fun to cheat on me with online personal ads by meeting these people....The problem...Well, the idiot didn't realize that all the response he got, came directly into my email box...

So If you are going to do it and you are not single, be smart about it and create your own email account.
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Old 06-22-2003, 06:47 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Youngstown, Ohio
Quote:
Originally posted by sierra2774
Well, the idiot didn't realize that all the response he got, came directly into my email box...

So If you are going to do it and you are not single, be smart about it and create your own email account.
Watta Yotz! Hope you can get rid of that loser soon! Watta dummy!
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