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Old 11-14-2006, 06:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Butter as lube????

i heard somewhere that you can use butter as lube...has anyone else tried this, im a little scared what if it causes infection on my lady, or perhaps spoils the mood with some sort of demonic cooking smell... tips and suggestions are always welcome
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Old 11-14-2006, 06:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I would not recommend putting any food down there.

Plus, butter? That just sounds gross.
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Old 11-14-2006, 07:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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i havent personally used it, but i have a friend that tried, it was for a one night stand so im unsure of the "aftermath" for her, he said it got the job done lol.
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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It can very likely cause a yeast infection. There are much better lubes out there.
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Ask Marlon Brando.
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think it may have been "if you use heavy cream as a lubricant, you might end up with butter."

Personally, I find that actual lubricants work far better than butter. Not that I've ever used butter, I mean, but I can just imagine.
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Yeah, Teflon is the thing of the future. I can't imagine using anything else!
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Old 11-14-2006, 08:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moskie
I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.
lol that made my day
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Old 11-14-2006, 09:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moskie
I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.
Funniest thing I've read in a week!
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Old 11-14-2006, 10:45 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moskie
I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.
Well done. lol

In all seriousness, though... NO. No no no no NO butter. Lube is far cheaper than butter anyway, and does not require refrigeration... and I'm very thankful for that.

Can you imagine slathering refrigerated lube on yourself?

One word: shrinkage.
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:24 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Try Grape Seed Oil or Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Kinda hard to get off, but massive lubrication.

It's good for massagess too.

You can warm it in the microwave. Be careful not too hot.

Spread a shower curtain on the bathroom floor, pour some oil on the curtain, and get down and dirty with your lover.

Fun times. Don't slip and fall when done romping.
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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CONDOM WARNING: Do not use any form of oil or grease as lube if you are using latex condoms.

Oils destroy the cross links in the latex polymer and weaken the condom.
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Ahh see, if she has a yeast infection from the butter, you can ask her to bake you some bread and use the remaining butter for the bread. That'll be some good bread I tell ya.
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Old 11-15-2006, 01:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Or you can add salt and make it smell like a movie theater.

Butter is for food. Don't corrupt my butter.
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Old 11-15-2006, 02:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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This is almost as bad as the story I heard about ketchup.
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Ketchup?!?!?
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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how about we throw some mustard on there too? Im sure that'll work....
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:49 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
CONDOM WARNING: Do not use any form of oil or grease as lube if you are using latex condoms.

Oils destroy the cross links in the latex polymer and weaken the condom.
condom warning do not use petroleum based lubricants...
butter is made from cream
and latex is not a polymer its a naturally occurring rubber and petroleum will destroy it...DO NOT USE VASOLINE

Quote:
In all seriousness, though... NO. No no no no NO butter. Lube is far cheaper than butter anyway, and does not require refrigeration... and I'm very thankful for that.

Can you imagine slathering refrigerated lube on yourself?

One word: shrinkage.
where in gods name are you buying lube its 10 dollars a bottle here...and butter is 3.49 a stick... as for the slathering refrigerated lube on yourself....i'd think you'd have the common sense to warm it up

Last edited by timothy4testes; 11-15-2006 at 04:54 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 11-15-2006, 05:19 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Butter makes anal sex smell like Thanksgiving.
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Old 11-16-2006, 05:00 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Just avoid the golden topping...
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:53 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Dairy products? Hmmm... I heard milk does a body good, but let's 86 the butter in the box. That's as bad as the lemon rumor.

/shudder
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:01 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King
Butter makes anal sex smell like Thanksgiving.
This round goes to WK. Thanks for playing everyone.

And happy thanksgiving.
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Old 11-18-2006, 07:17 PM   #24 (permalink)
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If you're not mature enough to be a man and buy lube... you're not mature enough to have sex.
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Old 11-18-2006, 08:29 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Seaver, I agree with the spirit of your statement... BUT... masturbating does not equal having sex. I wasn't man enough to buy lube when I discovered the wonderful art of masturbation. But yeah, go buy some KY or Astroglide from your local Wal-Mart... use the auto teller if you have to, but honestly the tellers really don't give a rip. =) They are too busy watching the clock to care what the hell you're buying!
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Old 11-19-2006, 01:37 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timothy4testes
condom warning do not use petroleum based lubricants...
butter is made from cream
and latex is not a polymer its a naturally occurring rubber and petroleum will destroy it...DO NOT USE VASOLINE
The condoms that I am responsible for putting on the market in Europe do say "do not use butter, margerine, baby oil, or petroleum jelly" on the warnings.

Natural latex rubber is a polymer - it's just not a synthetic one. For that matter, cellulose and starch are both polymers too - not all polymers are man-made plastic.

Butter contains fats - fats disrupt the strength of the latex.

To expand what I said above - ALL oils, greases, fats, and solvents will weaken latex.
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 11-19-2006, 12:02 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
This round goes to WK. Thanks for playing everyone.

And happy thanksgiving.

I wish I could take credit for that statement...

The credit has to go to my friend Nick (who actually showed me TFP a lon time ago)... He is one sick fucker...
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Old 11-19-2006, 03:26 PM   #28 (permalink)
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That's the phrase I'm going to use when my bitchy sister slathers the butter on her roll as she whines about me being skinnier than her for the second year in a row... at the dinner table.
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Old 11-25-2006, 04:29 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timothy4testes
i heard somewhere that you can use butter as lube...has anyone else tried this, im a little scared what if it causes infection on my lady, or perhaps spoils the mood with some sort of demonic cooking smell... tips and suggestions are always welcome
If it's found in the kitchen then don't use it for sex.
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Old 11-26-2006, 05:35 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doncalypso
If it's found in the kitchen then don't use it for sex.
I have to disagree - there's certainly a place for ice cubes in sex play.
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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 11-26-2006, 02:49 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moskie
I prefer to use a non-stick vagina.
that made my day as well, great laugh

now back to the topic at hand: i am no where near a pro when it comes to things like lube (never needed to use it before) but i don't think butter would be the best way to go . . .
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Old 11-26-2006, 03:04 PM   #32 (permalink)
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The butter thing comes from the film Last Tango in Paris and in the film it's a spontaneous act, not a methodically planned attempt to use butter for lubrication. I would think that, given a little while to ponder the situation without a raging hard-on and certain psycho-sexual hangups, even Marlon Brando might have opted for K-Y or its early 1970's equivalent. But sometimes things just get outta hand, ya know?
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Old 11-26-2006, 05:03 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Old 11-27-2006, 12:09 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doncalypso
If it's found in the kitchen then don't use it for sex.
what about chocolate and honey? Didn't you see 9 & 1/2 weeks?
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Old 11-27-2006, 02:31 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Butter? Heck no, that's nasty. I would never want my guy using butter on me! Don't ruin your woman's night by breaking out I Can't Believe It's Not Buttah. It'll ruin yours too.
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Old 11-27-2006, 09:47 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel_
The condoms that I am responsible for putting on the market in Europe do say "do not use butter, margerine, baby oil, or petroleum jelly" on the warnings.
Wait, wait, wait... people try this enough to warrant putting it on the warning label as a prime suspect?

Are people having fantasies about the Land O' Lakes girl and Betty Crocker having crazy sex in a Country Crock container or something?
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Old 11-27-2006, 09:56 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Hmm, butter. On a hot day, would this saute my date?

Personally, I would prefer coconut oil. And I hear that mir works well. Would anyone know where I can get this egyptsian stuff?
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Old 11-27-2006, 03:04 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Yeah butter definitely sounds gross. How would you use it anyway. Just rub the stick over your knob? I def wouldnt want to see a stick of butter being shoved up inside her. What if it breaks off?!!?
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Old 11-27-2006, 05:31 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Then you'd have to cook on low.
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Old 11-27-2006, 05:50 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doncalypso
If it's found in the kitchen then don't use it for sex.
you've obviously never had experienced the Aunt Jemima treatment... and that's the fact Jack!
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