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Old 01-03-2008, 05:40 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio
Quote:
Originally Posted by loquitur
The all time best weird events during sex story is this.

holy. freaking. hell. that was ridiculous and a bit unbelievable. However, quite entertaining.
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:14 PM   #42 (permalink)
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My GF is hilarious. We had some fun and I hit the pillow asking, "I wonder why us guys get so tired after we cum". She quips, "cuz there are no more seamen to row the boat."
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Old 01-18-2008, 01:28 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loquitur
The all time best weird events during sex story is this.
too funny. Not the greatest idea to read it in the 911 center though.. Something about people calling for help, and hearing me laughing int he background.
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Old 01-18-2008, 01:37 PM   #44 (permalink)
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I was in a production of CATS once upon a time, and one night, while cumming, my girlfriend shrieked "Macavity!". If anyone knows the show, it is an often random and (for me) hated reoccuring moment in the show. I laughed so hard that we had to stop
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Old 01-18-2008, 02:02 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
For he's a fiend in feline form, a master of Depravity.


While probing her concavity, McCavity's not there?
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Old 01-18-2008, 02:23 PM   #46 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
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Location: the green room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophat665
For he's a fiend in feline form, a master of Depravity.


While probing her concavity, McCavity's not there?
Hahaha! Furthermore, it happened to be a friend of her's who was playing Demeter (they had graduated together from a school in T.O.) who is one of the two characters who sings the duet Macavity (she is the "sexy one"). I had "hooked up" with during my first year @ York. She was convinced that she wanted me to Rum Tum Tugger her if you catch my drift (sort of sad if you do). I thought it was her trying to fight about it mid sex after the laugher stopped. I was right.

lol wow that was so long ago.
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Old 01-18-2008, 05:17 PM   #47 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21
....she wanted me to Rum Tum Tugger her if you catch my drift (sort of sad if you do)...
I'd have to bust out Old Possum's Book of Pornographical Cats to be sure.

/ Never saw Cats.
/ Like Eliot when he's being silly
/ Not so much when he's more erudite than thou.
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Old 04-08-2008, 04:42 PM   #48 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Been meaning to post this for a while. Couple months ago, it was fairly chilly for nudity in the bedroom, and so I was face down in Mrs Hat's lap under two comforters. We finished that phase of things and I slid up, and the top comforter sort of hung off my head like a hooded cloak. She sez to me, "You look just like a narwhal."

She meant Nazgûl
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Old 04-08-2008, 09:35 PM   #49 (permalink)
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I laugh about it now, but in the middle of sex with my then girlfriend, she requested I talk dirty to her, and in doing so, I accidently used an ex's last name (they both had the same first name..)
needless to say she pushed me off and was pretty upset.
whoops.
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Old 04-09-2008, 06:02 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Ha ! I went to this link and my sides have just now stopped hurting from the laughing fit I experienced late last night - while I read and worked hard to not wake up my whole household -- like trying to NOT laugh in church ... the writing style of the 'author' was outstanding ... sample from this piece -- titled: The worst "Anal Sex Accident" The all time best weird events during sex story is this. "" I looked at my date, lying there motionless. I called her name. No response. I called her name while shaking her a bit. Nothing. Fear shot through me, as I thought, "Oh my god, what if she's dead?" But this fear quickly dissipated when I heard her snoring. "

I spent about a hour in that NYC Craigs list of 'stories' Thank you ! My sense of humor appreciates the link ! Ha !

Thank you - originally Posted by loquitur ---

Last edited by cmc; 04-09-2008 at 06:04 AM..
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Old 04-09-2008, 12:41 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmc
Ha ! I went to this link and my sides have just now stopped hurting from the laughing fit I experienced late last night - while I read and worked hard to not wake up my whole household -- like trying to NOT laugh in church ... the writing style of the 'author' was outstanding ... sample from this piece -- titled: The worst "Anal Sex Accident" The all time best weird events during sex story is this. "" I looked at my date, lying there motionless. I called her name. No response. I called her name while shaking her a bit. Nothing. Fear shot through me, as I thought, "Oh my god, what if she's dead?" But this fear quickly dissipated when I heard her snoring. "

I spent about a hour in that NYC Craigs list of 'stories' Thank you ! My sense of humor appreciates the link ! Ha !

Thank you - originally Posted by loquitur ---
I can't recall the name of the author of this story. He had (and possibly still has) a website of his adventures. He was originally based in Chicago and then later in Miami. They were all over the top and I think were mostly just exercises in creative writing. But all hilarious.
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Old 04-09-2008, 02:18 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:29 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Craven Morehead
I can't recall the name of the author of this story. He had (and possibly still has) a website of his adventures. He was originally based in Chicago and then later in Miami. They were all over the top and I think were mostly just exercises in creative writing. But all hilarious.
Tucker Max?
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Old 04-09-2008, 06:38 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Location: Vancouver,BC
i once said "im gonna fuck your mind out" instead of saying brains

we both just stared at each other and laughed...
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Old 04-09-2008, 09:06 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Just before sex, he says, "Can I put this pizza box on my head when we do it?"
After I say no and he turns off all the lights and we start doing stuff.
"ohhhh (stops abruptly) what is on your head?"
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Old 06-02-2009, 12:24 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Bump for post #40 by loquitur

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Old 06-03-2009, 06:12 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Location: North Carolina
The other night my wife we were just laying in bed and I had my iPod Touch and knew my wife was going to give me a little head. I opened a lightsaber app on the iPod, and just as he pulled my cock out of my pants I pressed the button to "unsheath" the lightsaber. The timing was perfect. She started laughing and loved it; I kind of expected an "OMG seriously, you're such a dork".
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Old 06-03-2009, 06:31 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Location: Greater Harrisburg Area
Quote:
Originally Posted by loquitur View Post
The all time best weird events during sex story is this.
I see your craigslist asscapades, and raise you Tucker Max
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:52 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hektore View Post
i see your craigslist asscapades, and raise you tucker max
**blaaaahhhhhaahhhhhrghh!!**
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:15 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Location: Atlanta
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmyjab View Post
I laugh about it now, but in the middle of sex with my then girlfriend, she requested I talk dirty to her, and in doing so, I accidently used an ex's last name (they both had the same first name..)
needless to say she pushed me off and was pretty upset.
whoops.
Yes. That's the worst thing I ever heard. His ex's name.

Good times.
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:57 PM   #61 (permalink)
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After my daughter walked in on us, she asked me
"Mommy, why do dogs hump like that? Are they counting the puppies each hump?"
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:46 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItWasMe View Post
After my daughter walked in on us, she asked me
"Mommy, why do dogs hump like that? Are they counting the puppies each hump?"
BWAHAHAHA!
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:03 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmyjab View Post
I laugh about it now, but in the middle of sex with my then girlfriend, she requested I talk dirty to her, and in doing so, I accidently used an ex's last name (they both had the same first name..)
needless to say she pushed me off and was pretty upset.
whoops.
Isn't that what they used to call "rodeo fucking"? Where you're doing it doggy style, you say something like that to her, and then hold on for 6 seconds until she bucks you off?
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:24 PM   #64 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
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Location: the green room.
This is the worst and funniest thing I've heard during sex:

I spent the day with this girl in my building in September. We ended up drinking in my room and then kissing. Kissing led to touching. Touching led to undressing. Etc.

She starts the sex. Yes, she. She is also super into it. And just as she is about to come she says:

"I shouldn't be doing this." And then comes really hard.
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