slimshaydee

It's just something weird that's happened with one of the girls I'm interested in.

Anyways, I've been seeing this chick a few times and we got along pretty well and it seems like she really liked me. i asked her out for this weekend and she said she was busy sat but she'd love to go out sunday. I msgd her sat and suggested a time and she said shes working so it'll have to be later on at night so I said ok cool how does 8 sound, and she didn't get back to me.

Tried to call her on sunday to confirm if plans are still on she had her phone off all of sunday and I txted her again to let me know if she still wanted to go out. Didn't get a response so ended up going out with the boys instead and had a good night.

I saw she was online sunday night so I sent her a message on myspace (where she has a pic of us kissing I might add) to ask her what happened with sunday which she read but didn't reply to. Tried to call her a bit later but she didn't answer so txtd her and asked her if she's not interested but she didn't respond to that either.

Just wanted to know why any possible reasons she'd be acting all weird and ignoring me like that. It's not a big issue, just something I'd prefer having an answer too.

Ustwo

Shes a woman.

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savmesom11

Sometimes woman are bad at breaking it off. We think if we ignore it, it will go away. It is possible this is what is happening altho the pic of the two of you kissing on her myspace kind of throws it off. Don't be a doormat (in case she is trying to play hard to get) let her get back to you now, the ball is in her court.

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slimshaydee

Yeah I'm definitely NOT a doormat. Not planning on contacting her again, I have other girls who are interested.

ItWasMe

Good for you. No need to throw yourself at someone's feet and come across as desperate. That not only makes you feel crappy, it can make you less attractive to others and make you feel even more crappy. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Take care of you.

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MSD

People cant come out and say they're not interested, so they jerk each other around instead.

allaboutmusic

Don't chase a girl around. If she says she can't make an agreed time, suggest another. If she says she can't make that, tell her to call you when she's free and don't call her again until she does.

Plan9

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

slimshaydee

she txtd me today and said something about it's not that she's not interested, it's cause we live on different sides of the city (it's a really big city) and cause she works weekends she worried it'd be hard to see each other. So I told her yeah I just wanted to see what happens and if we can't make time for each other then it's cool. She replied sayng "alright we'll see how it goes, we'll make plans as soon as i figure out when I'm not working "

Balls in her court, in the mean time I'll continue seeing other girls and see what happens with the others.

Yeah that's my plan with girls. It's weird getting back into things having to play games after being in a relationship for a year where 0 games were played.

allaboutmusic

I don't see what I suggested as playing games - it's a tactic to avoid game-playing by girls. They seem to respond well when you don't put up with manipulative game-playing.

slimshaydee

a tactic is something you invoke in a game.

allaboutmusic

Or in response to it. If you try and start a fight with me, and I use tactics to avoid the fight escalating, I'm not trying to fight you - I'm trying to stop a fight from happening.

AngelaSI

She's not interested slimshaydee. If she was REALLY into you then she wouldn't have been "busy".

Just ignore here and she'll come back to you.

Hain

It's still a game, you are using tactics towards the outcome most preferable [to you]. :P

@Slim:

It's all a game, and it's all real. Take everything with a dash of salt (or cayenne pepper) and you'll find better things do come your way.

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mixedmedia

I don't agree that what allaboutmusic suggested is a game. What makes it a game is if you act (or don't act) with manipulative purposes. For instance, if you were not calling as a means of sending a contrary message to her (that you're nonchalant about it when the opposite is true), it's very different from not calling because you don't want to be pushy.

I'll never go along with this 'it's all a game' malarkey. I've no interest in that and I'm really not interested in anyone who sees a possible relationship with me in that way. Like something that needs to be manipulated and trapped. I'm only interested in the straight-up deals, thank you.

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dirtyrascal7

Different sides of the city? Please... that is just pure BS. What she's basically saying is, "I like spending time with you, but only when it's convenient for me and I don't have any better options."

You don't want a girl like that... you want someone who will put in the effort to see you even when it's not always convenient. People make time for the things that they want to do... if they give you an excuse like that, then they really aren't that interested.

Don't waste your time with this girl.

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slimshaydee

I'm not trying to get into a relationship with her. She's been good fun to hang out with so I pretty much want to just hang out/hook up with her.

With regards to different sides of the city thing, it's about an hours drive between our houses (both live pretty far out on the complete opposite sides of the city) and she won't have her license for a few months.

PonyPotato

blah

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allaboutmusic

A girl who's really interested will go to ridiculous lengths to see you.

Plan9

You know that's sixty minutes, right? I've never once had that luxury.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Shaindra

*nods emphatically* Especially if she's mid-cycle.

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allaboutmusic

Really? Interesting.

Mantus

We've got the know-how. Now all we need is a dog trainer and a cute puppy.

slimshaydee

I don't see why anyone would date someone who lives 7 hours away. Surely there are many people just as suited to you who live a lot closer.

I don't want a girl who would go completely out of her way to see me, she would be much too keen on me which is a turn off.

I live in a city of 4.5 million people, if I cant find a girl near me there's a problem.

mixedmedia

I no longer understand what's going on here. What is this thread about again?

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

slimshaydee

I wanted to find out why that girl did what she did. I'm not looking for a life partner here.

Shaindra

Yep. It's a fairly well-known fact that women are far more...ahem...receptive during the middle of their cycle (which is when they are likely to be ovulating.) Some of also have a nice little increase in receptiveness before our period.

Incidentally, I read a study that said that strippers make like 3x as much money when they're ovulating.

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"Never regret something that once made you smile."

PonyPotato

blah

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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Plan9

Ancient Chinese Secret: Defacto guy with defacto girl-communication troubles. Needs an explanation for "female-particular behavior" regarding aloofness.

OH SNAP! You have even less of an excuse to be in this situation. Then, assuming you're not a total social ogre, you should get your ass on an online dating service (Match, OkCupid, etc.) and schedule plenty of dates. If you live in a veritable cornucopia (TM) of women, what is your excuse getting hung up on one who's acting douchetastic?

Example: Using my average looks and average IQ... I've easily lined up three dates in four days using such services and while I didn't meet anybody with which I found worth going on a second date from the sites (I'm real picky), I did meet people who would return calls. Just ditch this mentioned girl, she's obviously not interested. You've got like a million other possibilities in your huge metropolis.

...

Anytime I ever whined about not getting a date? I should have just punched myself in the scrotum with brass knuckles. I only had myself to blame. Thanks, TFP.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Shaindra

You forgot plentyoffish. It's freeeeeee!

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"Never regret something that once made you smile."

slimshaydee

So if you two broke up you'd never meet anyone else good enough to be with you?

Plan9

No, I'm guessing she'd never recover. Her only option? These delicious cyanide-laced candies:

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

slimshaydee

I'm seeing three different girls at the moment, including seeing the chick from this thread this weekend after she made plans with me. I admit I did sound a little hung up in my original post though.

It's not the best feelings to have your ex gf with whom you had the perfect relationship with telling you a week before how much she misses you and regrets ever breaking up with you then a week later tells you she's got a new bf who she really likes, and to have some other girl start ignoring you on the same day your ex tells you this. My confidence was slightly hurt when I wrote the original post and I required an answer to explain what had happened to make myself feel a little better.[/QUOTE]

Plan9

Good job at multi-tasking. Think of it as a "target rich environment."

...

Do you like blankets? Everybody likes blankets! Good. Let's use blanket statements.

They'll ALL have second thoughts about breaking up / miss you. You will, too.

They'll ALL move on and find somebody different / new / better than you. You will, too.

Sure, it hurts. Hurts like hell. Most people get over it. Most people learn from it.

...

Nobody at the TFP wants to belittle your feelings or situation, but please understand that just about everybody here has been through the exact same thing.

You're not alone, brother.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."