Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-05-2009, 02:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
Confused Adult
 
Shauk's Avatar
 
Location: Spokane, WA
Lesbians who date men?

Well...

Dating site, some random girl checks me out, but doesn't message me, but I think she's cute and liked her profile. I just notice she lists herself as "gay" on the site.

I was really confused so I simply asked her why she was checking in to the straight guys.

we converse a bit.

we hit it off, she pretty much says she prefers girls but she's got a good feeling about me, too soon for me to state how I'm feeling about it since it's all in theoryland right now.

I told my friend about it and of course, all most of my friends have to say about dating seems fairly unhelpful or jesty. "Yeah man if you pull this off, your man card is getting upgraded to platinum"

yeah, all jokes aside, I have to say I'm really kind of nervous with this kind of polarity shift.


We're just at the stage where we've exchanged numbers and I don't foresee it being more than a week or 2 before it turns in to an actual meetup, so that nervousness I normally get is just kind of tripled by the whole fact that, well, I'm in a totally different race now.

I'm sure I'll get the "relax, just be yourself" advice, and I plan on it, but the whole situation is just so bizzare to me that I think i need some more input on how to get my head around it and stop overthinking it. o.o
Shauk is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 04:03 AM   #2 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
genuinegirly's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
You're over-thinking it.
She's open-minded enough to give it a shot. At least you'll know that if it doesn't work out, it likely has more to do with your gender than your personality.
__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
genuinegirly is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 07:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Portland, OR
I don't think there's much to think about. It's just unusual and will result in an 'interesting'. Every point wafting through my thoughts is related to lesbianism rather than the unique date. That's probably all it is. Don't think about it unless you find it interesting; just wait until it happens for the story it shows you.
passthru is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 07:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Lady Bear Cub's Avatar
 
Location: north carolina
If she's Bi don't worry about it.
__________________
"I give myself very good advice,
But I very seldom follow it,
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"
Lady Bear Cub is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 07:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
There's a million different readings you can place on it, and any of them could be true till you meet the girl

I can only give the advice you already anticipated.
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
Strange Famous is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 07:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
cj2112's Avatar
 
Location: Grants Pass OR
Perhaps she chose to say she was gay in order to prevent the lbajillion dick pics that she would get from guys, and allow her to choose what guys she wanted to talk to?
cj2112 is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 07:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cj2112 View Post
Perhaps she chose to say she was gay in order to prevent the lbajillion dick pics that she would get from guys, and allow her to choose what guys she wanted to talk to?
reading 1/1,000,000

could be true...
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
Strange Famous is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 10:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by cj2112 View Post
Perhaps she chose to say she was gay in order to prevent the lbajillion dick pics that she would get from guys, and allow her to choose what guys she wanted to talk to?


The way I see it, it's either:

1) What cj2112 suggested.
2) A lady who self-identifies as lesbian but is open to the occasional male encounter.
3) A serial killer who wants to wear your liver as a hat.

Standard online dating protocols apply here. Meet her in a public place -- going for coffee seems like a popular option. Take it from there.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 10:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
sufferable
 
girldetective's Avatar
 
Its like meeting any other person from a dating site, only this time it gives you something more to talk about.
__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata
girldetective is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 11:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
Drifting
 
amonkie's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Windy City
People don't even tell the truth always when they meet people face to face and then begin dating. Why are internet dating sites any different?

Granted, you don't really want to feel like you're wasting your time taking people at face value if they're all lying. But getting ahead of yourself never did anyone any favors either.
__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 12:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
All lesbians need is a good deep dickin'


Go for it.
__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown
World's King is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 12:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
Paladin of the Palate
 
LordEden's Avatar
 
Location: Redneckville, NC
I've had sex with two girls who identified themselves as lesbians. They like girls and are with women who they love deeply. As one of them put it, "Every once in a while I like a hard dick inside me that isn't plastic".

Also, I think cj2112 is right on the money. Plus, it puts you off your game (as it shows from your OP) and she as a better hand than you.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
In my own personal experience---this is just anecdotal, mind you---I have found that there is always room to be found between boobs.
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich
LordEden is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 02:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
Good to the last drop.
 
ZombieSquirrel's Avatar
 
Location: Oregon
Dating sites ask you to choose from a small list of sexuality choices. Sexuality just can't be defined by clicking a box.
__________________
Attack ZombieSquirrels

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
She probably tastes like cheap beer and smells like a jockstrap.
ZombieSquirrel is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 02:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
Confused Adult
 
Shauk's Avatar
 
Location: Spokane, WA
yeah, spose that is a correct assumption. Still, i had a slightly different perception of those who click on that particular box to describe themseves... mainly that they wouldn't be interested in me. I appear to be mistaken.
Shauk is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 08:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
Well, see...there's this thing called 'friendship'. Maybe she thinks you're cool, and wants to hang out with you. Maybe she's bi-, or 'curious'. Maybe she's confused. Hard to tell without...talking to her. So do that.

Oh, and re-watch 'Chasing Amy'. ;-) The lesson is, 'people are complicated'.
robot_parade is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 08:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King View Post
All lesbians need is a good deep dickin'
Heh-heh... heh-heh-YEAH.

...

Yeah, many women select "Lesbian" as their sexual preference on dating sites to keep them out of searches and help them avoid douchebag men.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 10:29 PM   #17 (permalink)
Psycho: By Choice
 
dd3953's Avatar
 
Location: dd.land
I see it like this: I like chocolate cake. I prefer chocolate cake. But, you know, marble is really good, too.
But I know how you feel. It's the same feeling I get when a straight woman tells me she is interested. I try to remember the above and roll with it.
__________________
[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]
dd3953 is offline  
Old 12-05-2009, 11:09 PM   #18 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Harumph. I'm one of those crusty old dudes that considers the current upswing of self-proclaimed "bisexuals" to largely be a fad going through today's high school / college girls. It's the pet rock of the 2000s. I can't count how many girls I met from dating sites that used it as a cue to their hidden "get laid from buying dinner" and/or "emotional issues galore!" trait. None of so-called bi girls I met on dates had ever actually snacked on any pussy. Lame.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Last edited by Plan9; 12-05-2009 at 11:23 PM..
Plan9 is offline  
Old 12-06-2009, 07:43 AM   #19 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
You would all probably like to read and listen to Dan Savage's advice column/podcast.
Savage Love - Columns - Savage Love - Dan Savage - The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper

He addressed this issue before. There are lesbians out there who, every once in a while, want to fuck a guy. He's said many times that when he brings it up he always gets angry letters and calls from lesbians who insist that those girls should consider themselves bi, and more from lesbians who thought they were the only one who felt that way. I've known gay guys who have been with more girls than I probably will in my life, and they still consider themselves gay, not bi.

I wouldn't expect it to be anything long term, she probably wants some straight sex with a decent guy and went online instead of putting up with typical guys at a bar. Then again, maybe she's always liked girls but wants to try switching teams to make sure she's not missing out on something that most other people seem to enjoy. I doubt she'd be offended if you brought it up in a tactful way, and that's probably a good idea since one of the most important factors in starting a relationship is making sure you're both going into it with the same expectations.
MSD is offline  
Old 12-06-2009, 09:10 AM   #20 (permalink)
Degenerate
 
Aladdin Sane's Avatar
 
Location: San Marvelous
Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King View Post
All lesbians need is a good deep dickin'


Go for it.
You are my hero, dude.

I have two good friends who are in a lesbian relationship together. One of the women recently told me that she didn't start out in life as a lesbian, but she just never had a successful relationship with a man. She met her female S.O. and it clicked, so that's the way she went.
Maybe your gal is open to men but hasn't, up until now, made a connection.

---------- Post added at 12:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
I've had sex with two girls who identified themselves as lesbians. They like girls and are with women who they love deeply. As one of them put it, "Every once in a while I like a hard dick inside me that isn't plastic".
I had a lesbian tell me this exact same thing. I was her chosen "real cock" for the year. Lucky me!
__________________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.
Aladdin Sane is offline  
Old 12-06-2009, 04:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
Junkie
 
james t kirk's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto
The fact of the matter is that sexuality is a dynamic thing on a sliding scale.

At one end of the scale you have 100% Hetero and at the other end you have 100% homo. I do not believe that most of us are at one pole or the other, or right smack dab in the middle (bi sexual).

You may be predominately hetero, but you're not right on top of the dot. Ditto homosexual. In every straight person, there is some (of varying amounts) of homosexuality.

The lesbian in question is simply like a great many straight people. For the most part - she's a lesbian, but there is a part of her that is heterosexual.

It is not uncommon to find women who are outwardly heterosexual but who are open to or at least curious about sucking another woman's pussy. I've also known women who have only ever dated men suddenly hooking up with a woman and not only sleeping with her, but start dating her. (And I've also seen the same women (2 of them actually) ultimately go back to men.)

Vice versa, you can have a male who is outwardly 100 perecnt heterosexual, however, if in the right circumstance will allow a man to suck him or will suck another man. According to my gay male friends, you'd be surprised how many heterosexual men will under the right circumstances take their penis out and allow another man to suck them off. (Gay men truly love this by the way.)

So, I guess the point of my confusing post is that very few people are 100% straight or gay. Yes, they are out there, but they are not the majority.
james t kirk is offline  
 

Tags
date, lesbians, men

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:04 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360