my gf cant last long in bed - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

sexanoe · 10-14-2010, 12:52 AM

for the most part I love it! she's highly orgasmic where I can cum as fast as I possibly can and still get her off and satisfied along the way. But there's still times when I'd like to take it slower but she can only last about 15-20 minutes before it stops "feeling good" and then couple of minutes beyond that it starts to get too sensitive and has her feeling sore the morning after.

Any tips or tricks we can do that can help?

Also she thinks part of the reason is my size. Not bragging here, its about average size but she hasnt had much penetration before me and she's sort of a small girl. So I'm wondering is this something she'll gradually get used to as we have more sex or is the whole "stretching a girl out" just a myth.

thanks!

Plan9 · 10-14-2010, 12:59 AM

You can brag about being average. I don't even have a penis.

And she'll get used to it. Your two new buddies: Extensive foreplay and generous lubrication (natural or otherwise, see Extensive Foreplay). Biggest mistake guys make is forgetting foreplay. Anecdote: I was in the travel business for a while and whenever I'd come back from a business trip overseas my partner would need to be "broken in" again. I don't claim to know the science part behind giving your girl's loveglove a case of choad rash, but the practical application says something. This usually involved the two points above as well as not doing one of those "all day in the vagina" parties. Change it up with oral and manual sex acts to prevent her from walking like a green cowboy the next day. I think we've all done that once, though.

Also: despite the whispered high school locker room gossip you've likely heard, girls don't actually enjoy an hour of mechanical pounding (well, except for my exwife). Your goal is to turn her into a puddle with your hands and mouth so you can have her detonating right around the 10-20 minute mark. It's important to take your time to get her into frog-in-a-sock place. Sex isn't a race... unless her father or your wife is pounding on the door.

Bouf · 10-14-2010, 01:33 AM

totally agree with Plan9, you have to think of foreplay as just as essential as the act and incorporate the whole package but i also would suggest certain positions. my ex was 5ft 2 and i'm 6ft 3 so we had a simliar problem in a way sometimes but she found it less uncomfortable ( after being properly turn on ) for her to be on top leaning back a bit and also from behind, it seemed to give a better angle

snowy · 10-14-2010, 06:51 AM

9er gave you some good advice. The myth that sex--as in actual in-and-out intercourse--has to last forever is one that I'd like to see destroyed. Good sex is usually about a half an hour-plus of foreplay followed by maybe 10 minutes of the actual act.

If you want lube that lasts, look for silicone-based lube (not safe for use with silicone toys, but good for long sex sessions) such as Astroglide X.

I have the same problem your gf does--I just get oversensitive and it stops feeling good. One of the things we do is multiple gos in the same session with small breaks in between to let me...decompress, as it were. He comes, we take a little break, we have more sex, he comes, we take a little break, and then we go at it again. I know it's okay to go again when he can run a hand over my skin and I don't hit the ceiling

This is also one of those occasions when that silicone-based lube is excellent.

rahl · 10-14-2010, 07:51 AM

I'm not a big fan of lube. I think the best lubes are natural(saliva, natural wetness etc). I almost always go down on my wife for about 15-20 minutes before having sex. She typically doesn't orgasm from sex alone so I like to get her off before having actual sex. And having her cum first adds to the lubrication!!!

sexanoe · 10-14-2010, 04:52 PM

ok thanks for the advice, I never really knew that about the whole duration thing
unfortunately I actually enjoy long sex, it makes my orgasms feel so much better than some quickie

rahl · 10-14-2010, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexanoe

ok thanks for the advice, I never really knew that about the whole duration thing
unfortunately I actually enjoy long sex, it makes my orgasms feel so much better than some quickie

you could aslo go the half and half route. simply have her give you head for 10 or 15 minutes, then move on to intercourse.

MSD · 10-15-2010, 05:37 AM

Got some news for you, the big study from a few years ago shows that the average man and woman consider 7 minutes of actual penetration ideal with a standard deviation of about a minute and a half. 15-20 is way up there, especially if you're in her the whole time. If you're looking to go longer, you're going to have to switch things up so it feels good for both of you, look into edging for yourself and ask her what she would like most, probably take breaks from penetration for oral, hands, whatever.

As far as size, you're average, and her vagina is the result of two million plus years of fine tuning to make sure it can pas something the size of a small watermelon. The key is that she hasn't had much experience with penetration and is most likely still a little nervous and not 100% what she likes best. She may just be naturally tight and need to warm up and relax down there (this is where your tongue and fingers come into play) and just like any other physical activity, with enough practice her muscles will get stronger but more able to relax. Go slow and use some lube if she's drying out, or even suggest trying it if she thinks she isn't -- if she doesn't have much experience she may not realize that she's drier than ideal.

Plan9 · 10-15-2010, 05:50 AM

My god... I've been doing it wrong the whole time.

I'll tell my partners that they need to climax in 7 minutes.

Thanks for the info, MSD. I'll hafta look that study up.

I can use it as an excuse when I want a quickie.

...

Quick survey: How many TFPers just fuck-fuck for 6-8 minutes?

I'm hoping we're outside that standard deviation. We're all pornstars.

tasineah · 10-25-2010, 06:04 PM

Age and experience can have something to do with it but not necessarily. I am 53, had a child and trust me, have grabbed the brass ring on the merry go round over and over again. I am naturally tight. Treasure it and take care of it.

tip....climb off and go down...then climb back on...rock on...

PS: I HATE lube in my vagina! God gave men and women saliva for a reason and it aint to spit with. Read above statement.

10-14-2010, 12:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
sexanoe Upright	my gf cant last long in bed for the most part I love it! she's highly orgasmic where I can cum as fast as I possibly can and still get her off and satisfied along the way. But there's still times when I'd like to take it slower but she can only last about 15-20 minutes before it stops "feeling good" and then couple of minutes beyond that it starts to get too sensitive and has her feeling sore the morning after. Any tips or tricks we can do that can help? Also she thinks part of the reason is my size. Not bragging here, its about average size but she hasnt had much penetration before me and she's sort of a small girl. So I'm wondering is this something she'll gradually get used to as we have more sex or is the whole "stretching a girl out" just a myth. thanks!

10-14-2010, 12:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	You can brag about being average. I don't even have a penis. And she'll get used to it. Your two new buddies: Extensive foreplay and generous lubrication (natural or otherwise, see Extensive Foreplay). Biggest mistake guys make is forgetting foreplay. Anecdote: I was in the travel business for a while and whenever I'd come back from a business trip overseas my partner would need to be "broken in" again. I don't claim to know the science part behind giving your girl's loveglove a case of choad rash, but the practical application says something. This usually involved the two points above as well as not doing one of those "all day in the vagina" parties. Change it up with oral and manual sex acts to prevent her from walking like a green cowboy the next day. I think we've all done that once, though. Also: despite the whispered high school locker room gossip you've likely heard, girls don't actually enjoy an hour of mechanical pounding (well, except for my exwife). Your goal is to turn her into a puddle with your hands and mouth so you can have her detonating right around the 10-20 minute mark. It's important to take your time to get her into frog-in-a-sock place. Sex isn't a race... unless her father or your wife is pounding on the door. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 10-14-2010 at 01:17 AM..

10-14-2010, 01:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
Bouf Upright Location: U.K	totally agree with Plan9, you have to think of foreplay as just as essential as the act and incorporate the whole package but i also would suggest certain positions. my ex was 5ft 2 and i'm 6ft 3 so we had a simliar problem in a way sometimes but she found it less uncomfortable ( after being properly turn on ) for her to be on top leaning back a bit and also from behind, it seemed to give a better angle __________________ He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

10-14-2010, 06:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	9er gave you some good advice. The myth that sex--as in actual in-and-out intercourse--has to last forever is one that I'd like to see destroyed. Good sex is usually about a half an hour-plus of foreplay followed by maybe 10 minutes of the actual act. If you want lube that lasts, look for silicone-based lube (not safe for use with silicone toys, but good for long sex sessions) such as Astroglide X. I have the same problem your gf does--I just get oversensitive and it stops feeling good. One of the things we do is multiple gos in the same session with small breaks in between to let me...decompress, as it were. He comes, we take a little break, we have more sex, he comes, we take a little break, and then we go at it again. I know it's okay to go again when he can run a hand over my skin and I don't hit the ceiling This is also one of those occasions when that silicone-based lube is excellent. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

10-14-2010, 07:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
rahl Junkie Location: Ohio	I'm not a big fan of lube. I think the best lubes are natural(saliva, natural wetness etc). I almost always go down on my wife for about 15-20 minutes before having sex. She typically doesn't orgasm from sex alone so I like to get her off before having actual sex. And having her cum first adds to the lubrication!!! __________________ "Your life is Yours alone...Rise up and live it"

10-14-2010, 04:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
sexanoe Upright	ok thanks for the advice, I never really knew that about the whole duration thing unfortunately I actually enjoy long sex, it makes my orgasms feel so much better than some quickie

10-15-2010, 05:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	Got some news for you, the big study from a few years ago shows that the average man and woman consider 7 minutes of actual penetration ideal with a standard deviation of about a minute and a half. 15-20 is way up there, especially if you're in her the whole time. If you're looking to go longer, you're going to have to switch things up so it feels good for both of you, look into edging for yourself and ask her what she would like most, probably take breaks from penetration for oral, hands, whatever. As far as size, you're average, and her vagina is the result of two million plus years of fine tuning to make sure it can pas something the size of a small watermelon. The key is that she hasn't had much experience with penetration and is most likely still a little nervous and not 100% what she likes best. She may just be naturally tight and need to warm up and relax down there (this is where your tongue and fingers come into play) and just like any other physical activity, with enough practice her muscles will get stronger but more able to relax. Go slow and use some lube if she's drying out, or even suggest trying it if she thinks she isn't -- if she doesn't have much experience she may not realize that she's drier than ideal.

10-15-2010, 05:50 AM	#9 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	My god... I've been doing it wrong the whole time. I'll tell my partners that they need to climax in 7 minutes. Thanks for the info, MSD. I'll hafta look that study up. I can use it as an excuse when I want a quickie. ... Quick survey: How many TFPers just fuck-fuck for 6-8 minutes? I'm hoping we're outside that standard deviation. We're all pornstars. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 10-15-2010 at 05:59 AM..

10-25-2010, 06:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
tasineah Crazy Location: NE region of the united states	Age and experience can have something to do with it but not necessarily. I am 53, had a child and trust me, have grabbed the brass ring on the merry go round over and over again. I am naturally tight. Treasure it and take care of it. tip....climb off and go down...then climb back on...rock on... PS: I HATE lube in my vagina! God gave men and women saliva for a reason and it aint to spit with. Read above statement.