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Old 02-25-2011, 09:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Never had a long term relationship

I've had sex once. I found it somewhat boring, but then the person I was with didn't attract me a ton. I find kissing boring. And I've never once had a relationship last longer than 2 weeks. I am approaching 30. WTF is wrong with me? Could it be pure statistical chance? That I've never met the right person? I may not be super attractive but I know I'm not super ugly either.

Those that I meet that are interested never seem to be attractive. Those I find attractive are never attracted to me (or have boyfriends). Seriously WTF?
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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What do you want out of a relationship? What are your expectations of your partner? What are your goals for your life?

Don't use a person to complete you. Figure out what you want to do by yourself and see if a person is a part of that plan.
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Last edited by Plan9; 02-25-2011 at 10:15 AM..
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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OK, I'm going to assume that you're a guy. It seems reasonable.

The question is: where are you trying to meet these women? In bars? Church? Online? It could be that you're not meeting folks who share the same interests because you're looking in the wrong place. I met my wife at a charitable auction. The serious girlfriend before her was at a party where we had mutual friends going to grad school together. Before that was someone I met at a road race.

It could also be that your standards are too high. Perhaps you're looking for a supermodel or porn star. Is that a possibility?
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Have you sought ideas from your friends? What are they suggesting? People that you know may have better insight since they know who you are and what others see when they deal with you.

I agree that maybe your standards may not be realistic. It might help to know what happened to break up the two week relationships.
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I've met several women (actually a lot) that'd I'd be happy with at mutual functions, but they've always had boyfriends. It is possible I'm a bit high on expectations though. I try to meet them anywhere I can without being rude. I've asked out women at restaurants while waiting in line for instance.

I have to admit though, part of me does like being alone.
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member View Post
I have to admit though, part of me does like being alone.
Talk about this more.
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Old 02-25-2011, 11:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Well its true because its easier.

But I've never met an attractive woman that liked me and wasn't otherwise engaged.

Its possible I'm self-destructing when I meet someone I like by being way way too forward. Still statistically you'd think that'd have worked by now.

Speaking of statistics, I think the most common way to meet someone is through friends. I have 10 "active" (meaning I see them at least once a month) friends. Half those friends have SOs but all of their friends are with somebody. Even my friend's SO's friends.
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Old 02-25-2011, 11:30 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Deep down, how is your self esteem? What do you like about yourself? What do you feel other people gain by being around you?



I ask those things because, in my experience, the people who feel less sexual towards others (i.e. sex or kissing is "boring"), or who made fewer connections, often have feelings of low self worth.
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Old 02-25-2011, 11:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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For me, I would put things at 50% on lack of available women, and 50% of my own personal issues.

I am very individualistic, and have about as many friends as you, but I'm not sure they would set me up with anyone. And I move around too often to really ask any of them. And where I go is usually the middle of nowhere. There aren't too many 20-something single ladies in the middle of the desert. Even if there was one, what would I say? I would like to date you until May, then you will come back to Ohio with me?

I also think that I have not lived in places where I could meet someone with similar life pursuits as me. I am a little out there, but I have always lived and hung out with the conservatives (despite what my posts here might indicate ) So, I'm going about finding women wrong, and the women who I meet and live close by aren't who I'm looking for either.

I like being alone too, most of the time. It is easier when I do not have a fixed schedule. I can also budget money very well, and I don't have to explain my weird purchases or why I want to ride my bike 20 miles to save a gallon of gas and get some exercise. I can go on trips home and leave when I'm ready. I can watch TV or use the Internet and put off cleaning or laundry until later. I don't have to worry about someone else, either their safety or cheating.

A lot would have to change, and while it might be for the better, there are lots of stories of failed relationships out there and I don't see myself as being a very successful longterm boyfriend when so many people who were madly in love didn't make it...
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Old 02-25-2011, 12:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Looking under the surface of those who are interested might make them more attractive. How are you with contacting what doesn't meet the eye?
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Old 02-25-2011, 04:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member View Post
I have 10 "active" (meaning I see them at least once a month) friends.
Do you keep a spreadsheet or something?
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Old 02-25-2011, 08:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD View Post
Do you keep a spreadsheet or something?
Don't you?

Well, we all have Facebook now, but I always had to write down notes and important dates before so I could remember things.
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