YourNeverThere

Hey, first off, i have no real idea if this is the right board for this post, in living it says to post realationship problems here, excluding nonsexual ones, but this is half and half sort of, i dont know, but here goes.

Ive been single for a while and its all good, and in being single that means i was just friends with a friend of mine who we'll call Shellie, because thats her name. Anyway, we hang out alot and sometimes hook up at parties, not hook up hook up, we've never had sex, and its always been very casual and that was fine with me and her apparently. Anyway, i hadnt seen her in a couple of months becuase i got kicked out of school and that was really where i hung out with her the most like many other school friends. So we both went to the same party last night and ended up hanging out in the back seat of my van just lying there. Just talking and making out lazyly and generally just spooning. I was thinking that it felt really good, like just laying there, felt right sort of, which sounds very stupid and mushy, its the first time that i ever felt anything like that with her. Anyway right when i was thinking that she said it outloud, so she was thinking the same thing which is cool. Anyway, eventually we left to walk around a bit more and talk to people, about half an hour later shes making out with some random guy that she met there and went down to his car with him and stayed the night. Anyway, its not like she was cheating on anyone obviously but it still sucked alot.
Anyway, point of thread, what should i do? i dont see her very often so i wont get a chance to talk to her unless i phone her up and make up some akward bullshit excuse as to why im calling, and if i dont do that then i wont ever talk to her. ya, thanks for reading this long, stupid, incorrectly spelled and probably posted in the wrong board thread.

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

Ace_O_Spades

Dude you need to realize... she isnt your girlfriend

she sees you... a guy who got kicked out of school, and doesnt even have the courage to call her

thats not the kind of thing that turns girls on dude!


CALL HER!!!! I mean, what do you have to lose?

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Feh.

Cerrakin

The best thing for you to do is call her up and tell her the truth about why you're calling, mention that night and what she said and you felt. If she's interested, you'll find out right then. You won't have to wonder. Just communicate.

YourNeverThere

Ace of Spades, ya i know shes not my girlfriend, thats why i said it origionally, you know... in the first post ... anyway, Getting kicked out of school was the smartest thing i ever did which is why i bring it up as much as possible becuase im proud.

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

maximus

and you are proud of getting kicked out of school because???.....

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i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone.

Nhanced1

Heh, well, Reguardless of the school thing. Your just going to have to call her and ask her out. Get yourself some tickets to something or just call her to hang out. I never liked phone conversations much, especially about this sort of thing, so I reccomend telling her how you feel more often and in person. like, when she said whatever she said about it feeling good to be with you or that she liked you, you are supposed to agree with it, and maybe even take it a step further.

But then again, what do I know. hah. ... *sigh*

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"Sell Crazy Somewhere Else, We're All Stocked Up Here," Jack Nicholson - As Good As It Gets

eribrav

The fact that you think that getting kicked out of school was the best thing you ever did is a warning flag. If it (school)wasn't for you, why not leave gracefully? Anyway I think before you are going to be attractive to a woman in a meaningful way, you need to straighten some things out.

yeahjim

Okay, first of all, try to ignore the self-righeous college freshmen. They'll get what's coming to them when they emerge from academia into a nationwide depression.

About YOUR problems, I can say a couple of things:

1.

Women will use a man's emotions casually in much the same way that a man will use a woman's body-- this is to say that opening your heart to a woman carelessly can possibly leave you really hurt and without recourse, much like a seventeen-year-old chick the morning after a frat party.

Therefore, it is only a good idea to do such a thing if you're willing to do what it takes to make her want you as much. Ambivalence may help the casual player (which, from the sound of it, you ain't), but it will kill the budding relationship. Try as best you can, without making her uncomfortable or turning it into something artificial, to recreate the warm fuzzy feelings that you shared. Then bust out.

2.

Unless you're both young, or we're dealing with religion or something equally foreign to me, I don't see why you two haven't banged yet. Unless you're both indecisive or there's some kind of misunderstanding, sex just tends to happen in these situations. You should figure out why it isn't happening. Maybe you already know. Maybe not.

3.

DON'T BE WEIRD. Don't think about it too much. Girls like good vibes, not awkward, passive-aggressive, introspective emotes. Be fun. This usually amount to being yourself in a good mood.



Yeah, I guess that's it, just from off the top of my head. Good luck.

wario

If you don't feel comfortable calling her without a reason, then make a reason. And if you're not ready to ask her out, then invite her to some group functions. I don't mean parties that lead to unwanted hook-ups, I mean get-togethers with mutual friends. This way you're not really asking her out, just asking her if she wants to come along. And if you do this often enough, maybe you'll be able to just call her without feeling so awkward.

YourNeverThere

yeahjim, man thats great advise, reasons we havent had sex yet is becuase the timing has never been right, and its been totally casual untill that night. But other then that your right. The Dont be weird advise is great, something that i can do hopefully, im really laid back good vibes are my favorite.


Also, people, this is why getting kicked out of school was a very good move. I would have never got the balls to leave school becuase i fear change like i fear setting my eyeballs on fire. I got kicked out for skipping alot, and i mean alot. Everyday when i would not be in class i was having fun, not only with friends but at home listening to music and reading good books, that semester was and always will be one of my best memories. Also, when i did get kicked, i ended up getting into a very good alt. school. One with no teachers or rules really, other then the most obvious ones like no killing. The time i spent there was great was well. Warning flags or not, conventional school from my expirance is overrated to the point of uselessness.
P.S. conventional elementary school is the reason that my spelling and grammer is so morbidly bad, the only reason that i can even type is becuase of the amount of books i read.

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

KWSN

That's the best advice you're bound to get ever. I always failed with girls in Jr. High for that reason... I was way too awkward, way too afraid of saying something stupid. I got nervous all the time and it really got to me... it screwed me up big. That's why I stopped asking out girls between the ages of 13 and 16. After that I got similar advice from one of my older friends, and it helped incredibly.

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Your arms are broken!