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Old 08-13-2003, 08:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Girlfriends Past - Explosion of Jealousy

I am 18 and lost my virginity to a 15 year old non-virgin about 6 months ago. We've been together since the night we did that. We really love each other. I know the age seems a little off, but she is very mature for her age, and I don't even think of her as young girl when we are together. Anyway, like I said she was a non-virgin. She had sex with a 19 year old four times when she was 14, and shes done some other things. A 23 year old tried to have sex with her, she said OK, but he couldn't get it in (she wasn't wet or something). I was OK with all of this at first. But in the last few months it has been killing me to think about her and these other guys. I want to kill these guys, I get very jealous and protective over her. However, she is very very good to me. She doesn't ever bring up these incidents. I really love her, but I can't seem to get over her past. HELP!
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Old 08-13-2003, 08:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Dude the past is the past did she cheat on you or something. Cause if she didn't and these things happened before you then there really is no reason to worry about them. From this girl to the next girl they are all going to have dated had sex with or even been in love with someone else. And there really is nothing you can do about it. Its is the past let it stay there.
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Old 08-13-2003, 08:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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jealousy is a HUGE killer of relationships. i blew it with quite a few girls when i was your age.

i know it's hard, but you gotta let it go. there is nothing you can do about her past & there's nothing she can do about yours. if she starts getting shit for what she did before she met you, or things you think she's doing but isn't - she's gonna run the other way eventually.
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Get over it. Stop thinking about her past. Think about her future.
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
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watch Chasing Amy or something...
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Wow, you have some issues. You need to get over those before you become one of those homosideal maniaics
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If you want a future with her, you have to accept her past. Not just ignore it, accept it. Every experience and event in her life up to when she met you led to that moment. You like that moment so learn to be happy about what led to it.
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:52 AM   #8 (permalink)
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The past is ancient history, no matter what you try, you can never change it. She may be very mature, but I am sorry, and please don't get pissed, but you sound like you have a bit of maturing to go before you get serious. I guess the only other thing I have to add is, how would you like it if she held something in your past over your head? Something that you wish you could change, but cant, because the past is ancient history.
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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If I were you, I wouldn't worry about her past relationships. They are in the past, and if she doesn't regret them, then let them lie in the past. What you have to do now is focus on the moments YOU have with her now.
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Old 08-13-2003, 11:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Forks
also, isn't that statutory rape? it is here. i don't know where you live but an 18 year old with a 15 year old is jail time. there is a good reason they call those girls jail bait, brother. if i were you id seriously think about what youre doing.
It depends on the state if he's in the US. Some states allow it.

One thing to remember, if you are in a state where it's illegal and you cross state lines to do it somewhere else, that's a big no no.
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Old 08-13-2003, 12:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by urizenxvii
watch Chasing Amy or something...
Exactly what i was going to say. don't fuck things up because of past experiences before you were in the picture. She won't take kindly to it, and it'll really end things quickly. Let it go.
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Old 08-13-2003, 03:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Get over it. If she does anything while you guys are together, then that's a whole other issue.

Also, remember she is only fifteen, and will probably act like a fifteen year old, so brace yourself.
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Old 08-13-2003, 04:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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You want to kill them? Uh.. You have issues, sir.
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Old 08-13-2003, 04:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I know it's tough when you see or start thinking about other people being intimate with your loved ones, but like the others were saying is you just have to let it go. This happened before she was with you so there isnt much you can do but just enjoy the time you have with YOUR girl now.
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Old 08-13-2003, 04:53 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Ever seen videos of two rams smashing heads against each other until one of them falls over dizzy from brain damage and blood loss over some lady-ram? It's the same instinct at work here - you want to kill any male that threatens your dominance as the mate of choice with your lady friend.

The thing that seperates us from rams (well, one of the things) is that we've overcome that alphamale-killing-betamale bullsh$t through this cool thing called civilization.

Of course, a smart-ass response like this comparing you to a ram isn't going to solve your problem. But time will...
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Old 08-13-2003, 05:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Jealousy is a common thing when you're young.

Let me put it to you this way...

Is she still seeing those guys?

No.

Is she seeing you NOW?

Yes.

Is she faithful to you NOW?

Yes.

When you get down to it, THIS is all that really matters.

She's NOT with them anymore, she's WITH you.

Calm down and try to have fun shagging her rotten.

The past is just that... PAST.

Everyone has one.

What are you gonna do, break up with her and ONLY date virgins from now on?

YOU are her choice.

Be happy with that.

It's like that comedian once said, "Your woman, she good in bed? Yeah? Well... How you think she got that way?"

Don't lose out on a good relationship hung up on previous sexual partners.

She with you now, you're with her. Have fun.

End of story.
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:55 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Vermont
Dump her.
Dump her now!
I shit you not.
This will not work.
Based on the things she's done at her age and the age of the guys she's been with,(The age is what bigs me more than the acts) and your accompanying wishes to kill these guys, leads me to 2 conclusions.
1. You need therapy.
2. She needs a lot of therapy and needs to keep her legs closed for a few fucking years for her own good.
Love my ass.

God. I just see this turning into the dumb bitch who defended her boyfriend in court after he ran her over multiple times.
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Old 08-13-2003, 10:26 PM   #18 (permalink)
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wow, it took that many posts for someone to catch onto the girl's problem.

a 15 year old who's had sex several times to 19 year olds is not very mature at all.

the fact that you are attracted to her (and the rest) is evidence that there's something messed up with you.

Dude, she's been abused at some point in time and even in the long run she's not going to be right for someone like you to be with. Cut your losses. There's plenty of chicks out there, why not pick one that can legally drive?
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Old 08-13-2003, 11:36 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank You

Thanks for your responses. Just to clear up a couple of things I never really wanted to "kill" these guys. It's just a figure of speech. Anyway, I respect what everyone has said so far. It all makes a lot of sense and really helps. Thanks again.
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Old 08-14-2003, 07:52 AM   #20 (permalink)
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She's 15 !!
Your 18.

Last edited by bender; 10-20-2003 at 09:19 AM..
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Old 08-14-2003, 09:26 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Arlington, VA
I was going to say whenever you have those jealous thoughts, think about all of the people that you slept with before, but then I remembered you were a virgin before her so nevermind.

I agree that this is a relationship that is doomed for failure. Though she seems mature, she is still 15.
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Old 08-15-2003, 04:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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HowdyDoody,

Not everyone thinks sex equals love. The sooner you can accept that, the better off you'll be.
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