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Old 08-19-2003, 11:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Do birth control pills fuck with girls heads?

I'm sure its not totally this, but i'm wondering if it would be worth a try to stop the treatment.

Anyway my girl and I were sepreated over summer break from college. We talked quite a bit for the first month and a half, then kinda trailed off, but still talked just not nearly as often.

So i came down to see her, and shes recently been very cold to me. But not always sometimes shes really happy, and fun and loving. But other times shes just annoyed at everything i do. We were getting books at the book store, and i offerd to find some for her as i was done with mine she snapped at me and said that she could find the. Later she appologized and said that she felt like i was saying that she was incapable of finding the books. This is a recuring theme. Shes all over the place, and she says that her feelings for me have been pretty numb. We don't kiss anymore or screw or do anything.

I've since split with her, but she says she still has feelings for me just not what it used to be.

I told her if her feelings should for some reason re arise than she could come to me and discuss it within the month and i would take her back. It was her idea to split btw.

And i'm getting more mixed signals now than ever. Shes really nice to me for a little bit then like does a 180, and just kinda ignores me. She comes up gives me a hug not the kind you give a friend, but then gets all sketched out and acts cold and will often go back to her apartment by herself with no TV no internet no nothing.

I'm confused. Should i just let this one go, i do still love this girl
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Old 08-19-2003, 12:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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BC pills can sometimes play havoc with hormones but it's rare that they cause significant problems, and even if they do cause mood swings it's likely that the pills just amplify what's already there, not "cause" completely new feelings.

What you're describing doesn't sound pill-related, it sounds like your ex is confused and maybe a little depressed. I think maybe you should give her a little space to figure things out for herself. If things weren't that great when you were together, and they're still confused now, why put yourself through that kind of misery? You could tell her that you care about her but you don't want a relationship with someone who runs hot and cold. She should figure out what she wants (for HER life, not just for your relationship) and if she still wants you, then you can ask yourself if you still want a relationship. But for now, I'd say let her figure things out on her own.
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Old 08-19-2003, 12:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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She sounds conflicted by her feelings for you. Part of her wants you, part of her doesn't. Is there someone else? Is she being torn between you and someone else. I think she still cares for you but for some reason wants to break away. Only way you'll find out is too talk to her. Ask her why.

good luck
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Old 08-19-2003, 01:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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She might be bi-polar and not know it.

Also, she might have a hormone imbalance. It might be that she has the wrong dose of some of the BC hormones.

She needs to talk to a doctor.

BTW: is her mood swing cycle 28 days? If not, think Bi-polar and suggest she see a "regular doctor", i.e. not a gynocologist.
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Old 08-19-2003, 02:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by angela146
She might be bi-polar and not know it.
That's what it sounds like to me, and I've dealt with my fair share of them.
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Old 08-19-2003, 03:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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It sounds like she could be bi-polar, but it sounds like she didn't act this way until you two were seperated.

It really sounds to me like she may have found someone else, and is snapping at you subconsciencely to allow herself to apologize and get rid of some of the guilt. That would explain why she has such mixed feelings for you.
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Old 08-19-2003, 03:35 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Maybe she's ..........a woman.

I'm sorry. Just had to.
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Old 08-19-2003, 04:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Mostly, from what I understand, the pill convinces a woman's body that she is already pregnant and so doesn't need to produce an egg.

Pregnant woman are legendary for mood/emotion swings.

Do the adding and subtracting.
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Old 08-19-2003, 10:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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In my experience, people whose attitudes and behaviours are affected by taking the pill were already probably not stable to begin with. With unstable people, it tends to exaggerate what may have already been there, but was either not noticeable or irrelevant at the time. It sounds like this is the case and there could be many reasons for it.
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Last edited by motdakasha; 08-19-2003 at 10:17 PM..
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Old 08-19-2003, 10:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
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sounds like she could be bi-polar, although there are many different types of BC pills simply because some f them cause horrible hormonal imbalances which can sometimes result in violent (quick, intense) mood swings. Have her tell her doctor (gyno is fine, if it's needed she'll likely be referred to another doctor, although if she CAN go to a more mainstream doc, that's better) how she feels all the time, and to discuss the frequent mood swings. They might be able to put her on a different kind of BC if they think that's what's causing it.
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Old 08-19-2003, 10:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by aintyoboyfriend
It really sounds to me like she may have found someone else, and is snapping at you subconsciencely to allow herself to apologize and get rid of some of the guilt.
That's a good point too, that actually kinda happened to me. My ex would be all nicey-nice one day and totally shit on me the next, and i found out she'd kinda been seeing a guy during that time. I think you're exactly right about her shitting on me (or this other guy) just so she can say she's sorry.
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Old 08-19-2003, 10:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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its hormones; so yes it could.
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Old 08-19-2003, 11:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Can the pill lower the user's sex drive? what about insecurity about one's body?

Last edited by blackdas; 08-19-2003 at 11:06 PM..
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Old 08-19-2003, 11:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
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guys. the pill is hormones. it changes the chemical balance of your body, slightly. This CAN (note that doesn't say "always does") change things like behavior, and sex drive.

BUT! If this becomes a problem it is the responsibility of the patient and doctor to work together to find a viable alternative. something as simple as birth control should NOT cause problems like this.
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Old 08-20-2003, 02:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by blackdas
Can the pill lower the user's sex drive? what about insecurity about one's body?
It has lowerd her sex drive, but she thinks it might be that shes not doing track this year, and that might account for her lack of testostrone or whatever makes you want the sex

Quote:
Originally posted by motdakasha
In my experience, people whose attitudes and behaviours are affected by taking the pill were already probably not stable to begin with. With unstable people, it tends to exaggerate what may have already been there, but was either not noticeable or irrelevant at the time. It sounds like this is the case and there could be many reasons for it.
She is and always has been somewhat unstable, and I don't think she is serioulsy bi-polar, but ovbiously is somewhat as she became depressed for around 2 weeks serveral times last year, but shes generally not manic for 2 weeks either, then again I find that i myself deal with this same cycle often which is one thing that we really loved about eachother as we could really understand what one another was going through.

Quote:
Originally posted by aintyoboyfriend
It sounds like she could be bi-polar, but it sounds like she didn't act this way until you two were seperated.

It really sounds to me like she may have found someone else, and is snapping at you subconsciencely to allow herself to apologize and get rid of some of the guilt. That would explain why she has such mixed feelings for you.
I suspected that as well, but I've talked to her a lot 5-10 seriously heart to hearts, and I would 99% chance rule out another man. She just seems to be really confused about her feelings, and her life. Also rather stressed out shes a 4.0 student who does college track, has a job, teaches a class, and many hobbies. Maybe theres just no room for me.

Quote:
Originally posted by Craven Morehead
She sounds conflicted by her feelings for you. Part of her wants you, part of her doesn't. Is there someone else? Is she being torn between you and someone else. I think she still cares for you but for some reason wants to break away. Only way you'll find out is too talk to her. Ask her why.

good luck
One thing i've never had problems with is really talking with her and figuring out what her feelings are and I see no reason why she would lie to me. She'll often tear up a bit and say that she doesn't know whats wrong and she doesn't want to hurt me, but doesn't feel for me what she once did. Also she feels that it would be a diservice to me to go out with her again as she doesn't want to put me through anymore pain and thinks this is a bad time in her life for a relationship.

Quote:
Originally posted by lurkette
BC pills can sometimes play havoc with hormones but it's rare that they cause significant problems, and even if they do cause mood swings it's likely that the pills just amplify what's already there, not "cause" completely new feelings.

What you're describing doesn't sound pill-related, it sounds like your ex is confused and maybe a little depressed. I think maybe you should give her a little space to figure things out for herself. If things weren't that great when you were together, and they're still confused now, why put yourself through that kind of misery? You could tell her that you care about her but you don't want a relationship with someone who runs hot and cold. She should figure out what she wants (for HER life, not just for your relationship) and if she still wants you, then you can ask yourself if you still want a relationship. But for now, I'd say let her figure things out on her own.
Thats the best adivce I've read, and the first as well i'm going to take that to heart i think. We're still friends, and she still will run as you said "hot" last night I put myself in a stupid situation if I want a friendship with her as we lied together on the couch. We were rather entangled, and just laid there in eachothers company comfortable for about 10 minutes talking, (another stupid think is we almost kissed) and what not then she became agitated decided it was a bad idea and went to the kitchen. We talked some more, or rather i talked and she would say "i don't know Ryan." her classic resons now which is okay with me i've given up understanding her feelings as she can't understand them and all i really want is for her to be stable enough to be my friend.



/////

Thanks for all the advice i don't have internet at the moment, and am using the college wireless at the commons daily. So i'll check back on this thread tommorw to see if there is any other insights, as i've been stumped and would love to understand whats could of lead up to this situtation.

/////
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Old 09-03-2003, 05:43 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I have experienced some dramatic changes since my GF stopped taking the pill:
a) sexual desire & pleaure (from what I can judge): up!
b) also up: the desire to become a mom ;-)
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