Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-08-2003, 08:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
Why can't I cut her out of my life?

My girlfriend has been gone in Califonia for over a month now, she finally was on ICQ today and we talked about the weather for a while and I finally asked her when she is coming home. She doesn't know, we started fighting, I tried to tell her that I didn't want to talk to her anymore and as soon as I hit enter, I took it back. I tried again, took it back. As bad as this fight is, I don't think it is over between us unless I want it to be. She told me she likes me, but doesn't need me. Why am I still in this relationship? I'm a rational human, every fiber of my body should be telling me to abandon ship. Why am I planning a short notice trip to Califonia?

Is the fact that I am willing to pull out almost any stop some sign that I think she is the one? Is that what oneness is? Am I talking in bullshit?

I was the one who broke up with her, why does it hurt so damn bad?
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 08:36 AM   #2 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
love makes us do stupid things. the thing is it seems she doesn't have much regard for you or your feelings. She "likes" you but doesn't need you? I'm not sure how well this would work out, seems pretty obvious that she isn't as enamored as you are.

That said, it'd be a sweet gesture to go see her. If she doesn't appreciate something like that, she isn't worth the trouble.
__________________
I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.
bermuDa is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 08:38 AM   #3 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...
Because it sucks thats why.

Hey at least you've got lots of distance between you two.

My girlfriend of almost a year who i was still madly in love with decided she no longer had feelings for me when we got back to college. This is great, because she lives right below me and all of my friends are her friends too. . Also all of our friends live right next to eachother as well.

Honestly i think your just going to have to cut her out of your life. Think about it this way.

This may suck immensly, but there are other girls out there just as good if not better it might take you 20 trys to find one, but the fact that your moving on will make you feel better.

I found that you've just got to leave the past in the past. Don't try to hold onto something that isn't worth your time. I get the feeling that she makes your more sad than she does happy so cut the cord block and delete her from icq, and never talk to her again. Maybe someday when you're involved with another girl, and you don't feel for her anymore you can re-add and be her friend again. Girls don't seem to have a problem with just being friends for some reason.

Cut the cord bro it sucks, but its got to be done ever wonder why so many songs are written about heartbreak.
__________________
Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.
The.Lunatic is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 08:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
Love is weird.



The distance between you will be the best thing for you. Cut her off. Send her one last email stating that you can't take how she treats you (cause frankly, she's treating you pretty shitty) and that its over. Then delete her name from your messenger services. Thats the only way to do it.

Good luck.
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 02:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
shit faced cockmaster
 
legolas's Avatar
 
Location: CT
Love is hard to just get rid of. You can hate every fiber of that person and still just love them to pieces inside. It's not easy to let go. You have to -really- think about what you want and what you want to do. Distance can make relationships a lot stronger though.
__________________
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
legolas is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 06:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
Tilted
 
once you do the above, get ready to tread the long road to "finally mostly out of my mind".
you'll see many of us are already there ahead of you.

it really sucks to feel that pain ever so often when you think about her. but if you're not actively talking to her, you'll think about her less and less.
__________________
the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.
darkallaround is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 06:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally posted by legolas
Love is hard to just get rid of. You can hate every fiber of that person and still just love them to pieces inside.
Someone recently said to me (while I was in the middle of a nasty break-up) that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It made sense. There's as much emotional energy invested in hate as there is in love, but there's no emotional energy invested in indifference.

Think about your needs (which are different than your wants). If you're in a relationship with someone and your needs aren't being met, then you should articulate them with kindness and respect, as a statement rather than as a demand. If after that they still aren't being met, then walk away, and do it respectfully. Love and respect should not be conditioned on reciprocation. If they are, those feelings probably aren't genuine. That isn't to say you should be a putz. Self respect has to come before anything else can happen. If someone is treating you poorly, walk away. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is always treating you like crap, staying in it and getting pissed off at them serves no purpose, and you've only yourself to blame. Remember that every relationship is a dynamic situation. If things are going wrong and you're getting hurt, you're not the victim. You play a part in it, if only by sticking around.

Acceptance: it is what it is, whether you like it or not. What can you do about it? Convince her to love you? That doesn't sound promising...Force her to love you? That sounds illegal...Accept that it is what it is and move on.
Otis Floyd is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 02:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Delirious's Avatar
 
Location: Queens, NY
The best way to get over one is move on to the next ~
Delirious is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 03:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
I'm baaaaack!
 
I think that you need to cut her out of your life for many reasons. One of the biggest, in my opinion, is that when you look back at this time of your life, you don't want to look back and say, "Gee, I was pathetic trying to make it work." Also, things will only get uglier from this point on between the two of you. If you cut it off now, you can look back and say "Wow, I had a really good time with that girl. I hope she has a good life now."

At least, that is my opinion.
__________________
You don't know from fun.
Rubyee is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 07:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
Justified
 
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Quote:
Originally posted by The.Lunatic
Because it sucks thats why.

Hey at least you've got lots of distance between you two.

My girlfriend of almost a year who i was still madly in love with decided she no longer had feelings for me when we got back to college. This is great, because she lives right below me and all of my friends are her friends too. . Also all of our friends live right next to eachother as well.
Wow, I am not the only one that lives next to his ex. It ruins my day every day when I walk outside because she lives five feet from me.
__________________
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 07:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: UCSD
my g/f and I have an understanding that it is better to want each other (a lot) but not need each other, because reliance is a nasty thing when you really get down to it.

Take a trip, check it out, if it doesnt work, start again.
numist_net is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 07:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I'll tell you what worked for me:

Talking to someone who knew me and did not know her.

Most of my friends who knew both of us, or had heard from mutual friends about her personality, constantly said it was for the better, and gave opinion, and didn't really listen so much. They tried to convince me that there are other people out there.

I ended up talking to an ex-g/f who moved out to the east coast (i live in California, Ironically) who knew me very well but had never met her. She was only a listener, never gave opinion of who was right or wrong, and simply asked me questions such as "how did you feel about that?" ..

I felt sooooo good after that, and i can even look at pictures now and smile and not regret anything. There's still a feeling of affection that will always be there, but it is nowhere near the depressing hurtful feeling it was 2 weeks ago.

I think you might consider going to see a counselor or a chaplin. You'll feel much better in talking to someone who will know you, and will not give opinioin .
TinniT is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 11:30 AM   #13 (permalink)
Crazy
 
just stop talking to her and find someone else

its easy to avoid people that live far away
__________________
[Arthur] HA HA HA HA, It's a little joke![/Arthur]
sigma1042 is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 02:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
First of all it's been my experience that when people care about each other -that it is more difficult for a man to get over a woman than vice-versa. (Not with children involved -different story.) I've dumped a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Moving on is difficult but I've picked something up from some of these women that get over it quickly.


1) Avoid thinking about your ex.
1a) Don't call her
1b) Don't return her calls
2) Go out and fuck somebody else.
2a) Not as easy as it seems
2b) but it can be done
3)Get involved with something else
3a) Like school, work or hobbies
3b) Avoid alcoholism and bitterness

Anyways, getting over someone is as easy as following these three steps. I know I sound cynical but it has taken me YEARS to get over someone, once... don't make the same mistake that I did.

Good Luck
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 03:28 PM   #15 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Sydney
be very careful about a surprise visit, the surprise might be on you and that would only make it very much worse....
__________________
The Grumpy Old Bloke
ismark is offline  
Old 10-12-2003, 05:33 AM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: louisiana
Quote:
Originally posted by Astrocloud
[
1) Avoid thinking about your ex.
1a) Don't call her
1b) Don't return her calls
2) Go out and fuck somebody else.
2a) Not as easy as it seems
2b) but it can be done
3)Get involved with something else
3a) Like school, work or hobbies
3b) Avoid alcoholism and bitterness
Very well writen! Ive been through it before and even been through a serious break up with my wife (girlfriend then) . I would also add that staying away from friends that are close to her would help out at first because every time you see the friends you are going to have that urge to ask about her or want to see her. Also try to avoid all physical contact (verbally, visually, etc).
__________________
"To be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid."
nextlevel1 is offline  
Old 10-12-2003, 09:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
Banned
 
I think forgetting is the hardest part of love because it encompasses all the things you ever did... but you will usually only more vividly remember the good- the first BJ, the way she looks when you're humping her brains out, the little sound she makes when you spooned her at night. Quit letting it fuck with you. DON'T drink or do drugs to forget. They don't help AT ALL. It sounds like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many fall into this trap. Good luck.
analog is offline  
 

Tags
cut, life

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:37 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360