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Old 10-09-2003, 05:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
A question for parents:

I'm still a kid, 22, no kids myself, and my closest friends are all the same; without dependants.

Whenever I go out with these friends, there always walks by a Hot Momma ( see: Milf ). Often enough their kids are in tow, or there is a tell-tale sign that they have kids. When this occurs, and I, or we as a whole begin to ogle, I point out how it would be a great bag because their proof of kids shows that they have sex or had sex.

What i'm curious about, and question you parents:

At any point in after having kids, did you have less of a sexual attraction for your significant other? Did your children keep you from enjoying sex? At any point during your parenthood, did your child(ren)'s awareness to you as parents keep your from having or enjoying sex in scenarios where you might have enjoyed a night of getting it on?

All input that is volunteered is greatly appreciated. :-)
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Old 10-09-2003, 06:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Silicon Valley, CA
I'm no parent, but here's my input:
People will inevitably have different reactions to things, even if it is the same life experience (like having kids).
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(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)
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Old 10-10-2003, 09:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Oklahoma
The only time I really didn't want to have sex was when she was in her last couple of months. It got to be a pain in the ass as she couldn't be in certain positions, etc., and she wasn't feeling particularly attractive or horny. As to kids stopping you having sex or affecting the amount you have sex, it only happens if you let it happen. When the kids are very, very young it can just because they have needs that have to be met at that very minute. However once they are just a little bit older, you can easily schedule around it. Now that my kids are 4 and 7, it is extremely easy. We have lots of things for them to do around the house, and they know they are going to get severely punished when mommy and daddy are back in our room with the door closed. Yes, it can remove some of your ability to do it wherever (i.e. in the living room), but you would be surprised what you can accomplish if you just work at it.
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Old 10-10-2003, 10:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
Location: In Games.
Schedule around your kids. Yep, it's a problem, but you learn to grab those moments. "Quick, the kids are at the neighbors playing, let's go fool around". My wife can be loud when we are having sex, so while the kids are asleep, we have to try to be quiet. It can put a damper on things.

But, Kids are great. Wouldn't change that part for anything.

But, so are grandparents babysitting, sleep overs for our kids at a friends house, etc.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Old 10-10-2003, 11:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
is Nucking Futs!
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Location: On the edge of sanity
It's tough when the kids are young, especially if the woman is breastfeeding (trust me, it's NOT a deterrent to sex ) Anyway, as the kids get older, it gets easier to schedule around them. My wife and I make time for each other whenever and where ever we can (we always remind ourselves, we married each other, NOT the kids). We go at it like dogs in heat. Some of the best sex EVER! Now that our kids are all over 10, it's easy to make time for ourselves.

Hey Dragonhawk, my wife is loud too. A gag of some sort or face in the pillow works great!
I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

Last edited by Dano069; 10-10-2003 at 11:56 AM..
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Old 10-10-2003, 12:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
Location: ski town
Schedule around your kids? What a joke. Kids keep no schedule. get it when you can.
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Old 10-10-2003, 12:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
It wasnt me
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Location: Scotland
Build a routine into your kids at a young age (ie train them that certain things happen at roughly the same times) and you'll get your life back sooner.

Yeah when they're very young you get little sleep and sex takes a back seat. But with us that was only for a couple of months.

When ours was a teenager we either had no kids or dozens, sleep-overs were really popular. And it wasnt only the kids who thought that was a good idea :P
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten
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Old 10-10-2003, 12:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Yonder
Originally posted by TinniT
I'm still a kid, 22
This is off-topic, but... damn! When I was 22 I had been married for a year, had a full time job, lived in a 1-bedroom apartment with my wife.... Was working on buying my first car....

Still a kid at 22! Geez.
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Old 10-10-2003, 01:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
Well i heard from one of my mothers closest friends tell me one time that my mother came over in tears. My mother thought we was pregnant. I would have been 16 at this time.

So yes my parents were getting it on at the house. My father would have been mid 50's and my mother would have been late 40's early 50's.

That's just sick..... No just kidding. I hope that I am still sexually active when I'm that old...
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Old 10-10-2003, 04:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
Location: Sydney
grab it while you can... send the kids out to the garden often... send them to bed real early....

we are planning on building a new house with a parents section (specially sound proofed)

privacy in a house with kids is impossible
The Grumpy Old Bloke
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Old 10-10-2003, 06:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Oklahoma
My grandparents were sexually active into their 70s, so 40/50s is not old at all.
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Old 10-10-2003, 07:55 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Lebell's arms
Kids change it, for sure -- but cut back, no way! I feel more sexy now in my 40s then I ever did in my life!
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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Old 10-11-2003, 05:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Upper Michigan
Have a kid changed our sex life. I had a c-section and the scar even was sensitive for a couple years even. For the first while after having her I always had an ear out for even a whimper while we were having sex. I felt guilty for having pleasure while my child "needed" me if she was crying. It's a natural response. Eventually you learn to balance things. If you don't you're whole relationship will go down hill and it hurts the kids in the long run.

With kids around the house you have to work harder and watch for opportunities to play but otherwise it hasn't hurt our sex life. We send her off to a sitters about every other weekend or so for one evening so we have have "Mom and Dad fun." It makes a big difference to have that time.
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
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Old 10-11-2003, 06:49 AM   #14 (permalink)
Location: Michigan
Having kids has only changed the time of day we have sex. For a while now, we have a "mommy daddy time to relax" that we do about once a day. We go into our bedroom, close the door, and let the kids play. We definatly keep an ear out for the kids, and many times we just relax. Just lay togther and if the fun happens, it happens. Our 4 year old will either play in the living room or in her bedroom and the 1.5 year old is in the living room (we have gates up) which is baby/todler proof.

At night is a different story, bed time is usually 8:30 and anytime after that is ours to do what we want with.
Patterns have a habit of repeating themselves.
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Old 10-23-2003, 10:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Madison WI
I wish our kid was that easy to keep busy!
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Old 10-23-2003, 11:01 AM   #16 (permalink)
I hate to break it to you but. I just turned 40 and the sex is getting better and better.

Yes, it hit a bit of dry spell when the kids came around and we were working hard on our careers. But now it is better then ever.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that sex now is about giving pleasure and receiving pleasure.

Who cares that we are heavier than when were in our 20s.

Maybe this grosses a 22 year old out. But you know what. Her body has aged but my wife is just as beautiful now as she was when we first met.
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Old 10-23-2003, 11:13 AM   #17 (permalink)
Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while.
Location: wherever I am
I'm 26, 27 in Jan., and we have 2 kids under 3. We just work around them. The first few weeks after each birth was difficult and the dry spell lasted longer than anticipated but my wife had 2 very rough deliveries.

The second tore her up so bad the Dr. said she might nopt be able to have sex anymore. Luckily that is not the case. We did lose the ability for her to receive anal but we are still very slowly working on getting that back.

Kids have affected our ability to have sex when and where we want but in no way have we lost interest in each other.
So, what's your point?

It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.
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Old 10-23-2003, 11:17 AM   #18 (permalink)
Is In Love
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Location: I'm workin' on it
Originally posted by joe100
Maybe this grosses a 22 year old out. But you know what. Her body has aged but my wife is just as beautiful now as she was when we first met.
Well, I'm 25 and it's good to see what I have to look forward to.

If I ever date again that is!
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
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Old 10-24-2003, 03:18 AM   #19 (permalink)
Little kids are very demanding. You have sex when you can. But it's temporary ... it can and will return to normal. It's just one of those tradeoffs for the joys of parenthood.
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Old 10-24-2003, 09:21 AM   #20 (permalink)
Location: SLC, UT
sex with single moms is the best
<Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?
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