Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-09-2003, 08:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Why do I hate "Sloppy Seconds"?

Okay,

I think I am the only guy on the planet who will NOT have sex with a girl if she fucked one of my friends before me. You can quiz me on this but somehow it just seems fucked up -even if my friend is approving/doesn't care.

Why? Idunkno... I think it has something to do with pride and getting "my own" women. Perhaps if a relationship started it wouldn't feel right hangin with a guy who banged my gf... I'm not sure.

I know I'm missing out so I want to know if anyone else feels similarly...
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
I wouldn't want to have sex with somebody my friends have had sex with. It's just too weird!
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
welcome to testosterone.

Its for the same reason lions kill a female's young from another male.

its testosterone.


Enjoy it. Learn to accept it. then you can attempt to live in disregarding it.
TinniT is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
Tilted
 
wow. me and my buddies always try to see if we can all tag one in a certain time period (like all three of us in a 6 mo. period)

of course those are never the ones that are up for "long term" consideration.

and of course whoever hits it 3rd gets ragged on.
__________________
the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.
darkallaround is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
MichaelFarker's Avatar
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
It's certainly a way to protect your friendships from getting caught up in the ups and downs of casual dating. I can understand why you'd want to keep your friendships independant of your dating life.
MichaelFarker is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
Professor of Drinkology
 
Always heard "sloppy seconds" used in a more immediate, porn set context. I admit, I've never really paid any mind to whether a woman has gone out with one my friends. But I suppose, I'd figure that there's a reason she left him, and a good reason she's with me -- or something along those lines. Never really thought about it.
__________________
Blah.
tritium is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
as a girl who has dated guys who were best friends...

it's an odd thing. the first was my bf for a good 4 years, long-distance. when i finally got to be with him it was a let-down. we just weren't sexually compatable.

i hadn't thought a relationship with his best friend would be practical. how wrong i was.

Every now and again i tell Hal the comparisons that run through my mind. It always makes for an akward moment. I'm just happy that Hal didn't let a prior relationship stop him from pursuing me.
Litespeed is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by tritium
Always heard "sloppy seconds" used in a more immediate, porn set context.
Yea, yeah... I'm not using the term in it's correct sexual way but I am SARCASTIC.

Quote:
Originally posted by MichaelFarker
It's certainly a way to protect your friendships from getting caught up in the ups and downs of casual dating. I can understand why you'd want to keep your friendships independant of your dating life.
But there is actually less thinking here and more feeling. Let me give you an example from my younger days.

Me and Chris were roommates. Some girl came over and he was trying to sleep -he had work the next day. He told her that he wasn't interested and that she should go "bug me".


I was sitting in the living room watching a porn movie (believe it or not). No, I was not wanking it. This chick comes out and sits on the couch near the back of the room. I didn't touch her. I wasn't interested and still wouldn't.

Eventually she got up and left shortly after I turned on my Sega genesis... (yes, it was that long ago).

So if I met this chick anywhere else I would have loved to bang her. Because my friend had her first I wasn't interested... Weird Huh?

Quote:
Originally posted by TinniT
welcome to testosterone.

Its for the same reason lions kill a female's young from another male.

its testosterone.


Enjoy it. Learn to accept it. then you can attempt to live in disregarding it.
Oh I love my testosterone. Believe me when I say I've got plenty of it. But I don't think testosterone is solely responsible for this behavior because -it's not universal i.e. not everyone else does this. I mean just read darkallaround's story above... I believe he has testosterone... why doesn't he act the same way?

Last edited by Astrocloud; 10-09-2003 at 09:59 PM..
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
SLIMM
Guest
 
we are all sloppy seconds(well all except the virgins out there)so what difference does it make if its a friend or a stranger????
 
Old 10-09-2003, 10:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by SLIMM
we are all sloppy seconds(well all except the virgins out there)so what difference does it make if its a friend or a stranger????
That's a good point. It shouldn't make a difference which is why this feeling isn't logical in any sense...

I've never fucked a virgin to my knowledge...
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
Appreciative
 
Location: Paradise
Well... I have never really encountered a dating pool small enough where I really had to worry about this. But, I guess me and my friends all have pretty different tastes in women as well.

Sounds like you are speaking from a purely sexual standpoint astrocloud. I think things could potentially be different for a more serious relationship as with litespeed.
teflonian is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
SLIMM
Guest
 
it is kinda weird being in the same room with more than one person that you have slept with though!
and it is weird being around a current lovers ex but like i said before,"seconds are seconds"!
be lucky you are 2nd,or 3rd or even if you are #100 its no big deal as long as you are happy now!

hell i dont know how many guys came before me with my girlfriend(dont think i care to know)but im happy to be the one she is with now! even if i know a few of her ex's,i can deal with it cause i am happy with her!
 
Old 10-09-2003, 10:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
Hehehe my girlfriend dated my roommate before me. I didn't really mind except I hated his guts. The only problem was a few months in, I was ready to have sex, she was not and I couldn't see how she would fuck him and not me.
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
There are so many issues there. Im pretty insecure so I would worry about comparrisons. Also the worst thing a friend can do to another friend is to go his ex who he had feelings for. I wouldn't do that to one of my friends. Also they split up for a reason. By going out with her you are putting yourself inbetween the two with their issues. Not a comfortable place to be. No matter how much I like the girl or no matter how hot she is I wouldnt do that. Its just way too many issues involved. I would be friends with the girl but no more
Lunchbox7 is offline  
Old 10-09-2003, 11:32 PM   #15 (permalink)
Über-Rookie
 
Location: No longer, D.C
i have to agree with the having troubles with it. It just seems like a good way to be caught in a lot of drama.

I also have a weird thing where I try not to date people who have the same friends as me.. Mainly for the fact that when we break up, it isnt near as awkward, because we only see one another when we want to see them, and it isn't difficult keeping distance and such.

of course, that doesnt mean i would instantly rule out dating someone who we had mutual friends with...

it is just i have more of a chance of dating some random person rather than a close friend of one of my friends.. this post may not have made any sense.. oh well
__________________
"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush
oblar is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
Fast'n'Bulbous
 
Location: Australia, Perth
although this hasn't bben a problem between my friends yet, i imagine there'd be some discomfort about it and it seems to be an unspoken rule.

it depends on the nature of the relationship that was before hand though.

i'd probably feel a little weird about it though
Sleepyjack is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 02:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
Lebell's Avatar
 
Location: Sexymama's arms...
Hmmm,

Why is 'sloppy seconds' from a stranger ok but 'sloppy seconds' from your friends not?

And have you considered that you could be 'sloppy seconds' to her?

And no, I don't get it.
__________________
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU!

Please Donate!
Lebell is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 02:29 AM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: SLC, UT
that's why i feel bad for the last dood in those marathon gang bang videos. i mean, going second isnt so bad compared to like number 3000

kinda helps put things into perspective....nonetheless i still wouldnt dig on sloppy seconds or sloppy any number for that matter
__________________
<Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?
arcane is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 02:51 AM   #19 (permalink)
Fast'n'Bulbous
 
Location: Australia, Perth
Quote:
Why is 'sloppy seconds' from a stranger ok but 'sloppy seconds' from your friends not?

And have you considered that you could be 'sloppy seconds' to her?
since you're going to be hangin around your friends more than strangers who have had sex with the same girl, there may be tension between them.
For me its more about the tension or any awkawrdness that may become amongst your friends, not that the girl is "used" in anyway by having sex with different people. sorry i couldn't think of a more tasteful way of putting it
even more so if a relationship forms, i think that'd be more awkward, although it all depends on the circumstances. Anyway thats just me and the way i feel in my group of friends.

Last edited by Sleepyjack; 10-10-2003 at 02:53 AM..
Sleepyjack is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 06:00 AM   #20 (permalink)
SLIMM
Guest
 
Quote:
Originally posted by arcane
that's why i feel bad for the last dood in those marathon gang bang videos. i mean, going second isnt so bad compared to like number 3000

ya,i know my girlfriend has had a few before me,i can deal with that cause they werent a few just a matter of seconds before me!lol
 
Old 10-10-2003, 06:01 AM   #21 (permalink)
Invisible
 
yournamehere's Avatar
 
Location: tentative, at best
Mature adults have no problem handling the situation.
__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
yournamehere is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 06:04 AM   #22 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
I'd rather have sex with someone who knows what they are doing than have sex with a virgin. If she had had better before, perhaps she can teach me how to improve.

/married now, so this is only theoretical
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 07:51 AM   #23 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by yournamehere
Mature adults have no problem handling the situation.
Yeah, I wish there was a clear answer here. The problem is stated best by a PBS show called The Secret Life of the Brain

Quote:
We are not thinking machines that feel. We are feeling machines that think.

I can think this through as a "mature adult" and still not feel 'turned on' by some female who's been with my friends. Thinking that I'm not being a 'mature adult' does squat to control feelings. My solution is to just live with the feelings and pursue women outside my little circle.
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 08:32 AM   #24 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Indiana
In my younger days I have gotten in line with my buddies..... so I guess I would have to say that woundn't bother me.
cas305 is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 09:40 AM   #25 (permalink)
Registered User
 
skysooner's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma
It would never bug me. It might make me not consider a long-term relationship with the girl if she were too "easy" about getting with both of us, but I see no reason that is should keep you from getting with someone that you could have a long-term relationship with.
skysooner is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:00 PM   #26 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...
... Girls flip out and get pissy over stuipd shit

... You in turn get to be possesive, and typically male. This includes a feeling of nothing accomplished / nothing conquerd for the sloppy seconds. Just don't bother, and give into it.

hey its a hellavua lot better than careing about emotions and stuff like girls do.
__________________
Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.
The.Lunatic is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 08:41 PM   #27 (permalink)
Banned
 
Whats funny is that there are several girls that all hang around my best friend and i and all of our other friends together, we all go to the same gatherings and parties... so sometimes we'll walk in and look around and say, "man, you've fucked 6 of the girls here tonight." lol...
analog is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 08:58 PM   #28 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Texas
"sloppy seconds" eh?
well i know how it feels like to be with someone and still have a friend that banged her.

it's a fucked up world, we're all fucked up in some way or another, let us not expect our lives to be "normal".

fuck her (the girl you are with now) and then fuck some other girl while you're at it (when you're taking your cool off period) and things will be much better. It's a mental thing.

Have you noticed this is just a male thing?
I'm probably wrong, how krazy huh?
I guess it is all that C19H28O2 stuff.
__________________
Ohh Yeah Baby All Night Long!

(' . ^)

Look at Kirby---> <(' . '<)
thumper69 is offline  
Old 10-10-2003, 09:34 PM   #29 (permalink)
Upright
 
Me and two of my friends fucked the same girl in high school, senior year. It was tite. She was a slut. I liked it.
hparcins is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 03:19 PM   #30 (permalink)
Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash
 
anti fishstick's Avatar
 
Location: oregon
well i think it would just be weird and kinda creepy to go from a boyfriend to his best friend or something. i would generally want to keep away from him and his group of friends.
__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
anti fishstick is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 03:26 PM   #31 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by anti fishstick
well i think it would just be weird and kinda creepy to go from a boyfriend to his best friend or something. i would generally want to keep away from him and his group of friends.
What about the reversed situation? Have you ever dated a friend's exboyfriend?
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 03:32 PM   #32 (permalink)
Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash
 
anti fishstick's Avatar
 
Location: oregon
oh did i get this sloppy seconds thing backwards? :x oops. i've never dated a friend's exboyfriend and i dont think i would due to respect and the people my friend's have dated wouldn't be my 'type' either (assuming i have some sort of type. heh. i just mean i probably wouldn't go for them)
__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
anti fishstick is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 05:34 PM   #33 (permalink)
You + Me = Us
 
Location: California dreaming...
Well I couldn't see myself going out with any of my friend's girlfriends, since they usually have the need to reveal most aspects of their sex life to me and I know too much about the girl.

On a side note, am I the only one thinking about sloppy joes?
__________________
P.S. Always remember: to forget is a form of suicide. (If I could only remember to forget myself.)
numberfive is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 10:25 PM   #34 (permalink)
The Dreaded Pixel Nazi
 
Konichiwaneko's Avatar
 
Location: Inside my camera
Quote:
Originally posted by SLIMM
it is kinda weird being in the same room with more than one person that you have slept with though!
and it is weird being around a current lovers ex but like i said before,"seconds are seconds"!
be lucky you are 2nd,or 3rd or even if you are #100 its no big deal as long as you are happy now!

hell i dont know how many guys came before me with my girlfriend(dont think i care to know)but im happy to be the one she is with now! even if i know a few of her ex's,i can deal with it cause i am happy with her!
Being in a room with more then one person you slept with is hella wacky. I had a party at my place, and I had exes of the person whom I slept with there. Seemingly some guys are okay, some guys aren't.

I have people who want me to die, and I have others who would buy me a beer and they both know I've been with their ex.

How do I feel...suprisingly none of my exes have slept around with people that close to me. The only wacky thing is hearing how one ex is pregnant with someone elses baby (guy I don't know)
__________________
Hesitate. Pull me in.
Breath on breath. Skin on skin.
Loving deep. Falling fast.
All right here. Let this last.
Here with our lips locked tight.
Baby the time is right for us...
to forget about us.
Konichiwaneko is offline  
 

Tags
hate, seconds, sloppy

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:03 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360