Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-19-2003, 02:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Windsor, ON
Best friends with benefits!

I mean seriously, isn't this the best way to go? You get to satisfy your sexual urges AND satisfy your need for companionship without leaving yourself emotionally open to heartbreak. No commitments, no strings attached. Discuss.
CryptikSoul is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 02:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
I couldn't do it. Sure, it does sound like the most ideal situation for some, but I guess I'm still looking for all of the above. The best friend/boyfriend package.
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 02:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
It wasnt me
 
tekaweni's Avatar
 
Location: Scotland
I did that 25 years ago. At the time it was perfect for us both, and things stayed like that for 5 years.

We got married almost 20 years ago. It's still pretty damn good :-)
__________________
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten
tekaweni is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 03:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
JStrider's Avatar
 
Location: The Woodlands, TX
sex for me (and most people i would assume) is an emotional thing... i know i would become emotionally involved...

not that i would mind too much depending on the situation and time etc...
__________________
-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto
JStrider is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 04:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: The Internet
I'm working on this one
__________________
rm -f /bin/laden
Sapper is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 04:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
elfuq's Avatar
 
Location: San Francisco
I'm living this one - see um my post about non-monogamous relarionship from a week or two ago. Though it's still pretty confused.
elfuq is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 04:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love
Completely and totally with JStrider on this - its an emotional connection, not a necessary filling.
numist is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 05:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
Upright
 
Well, I can see how this can work.

My wife and I are best friends, and there are definitely benefits. Like, she cooks a mean tomato sauce :-)
maelstrm is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 06:04 PM   #9 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
sex is better if there's an emotional connection, but it's still good without it... I think I wouldn't mind having a FWB just so I can get over the insecurities that seem to go hand in hand with monogamy... Learn to just have fun and not worry about what she's doing when I'm not around.
__________________
I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.
bermuDa is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 06:12 PM   #10 (permalink)
Tilted F*ckhead
 
Church's Avatar
 
Location: New Jersey
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

--------------

PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _______(DD/MM/YY) by ___________ (fill in name) and _____________ (fill in name).
This agreement shall cover the following rules and principles:

1. No sleeping over, ever Ė if its that good, you can come back to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9pm -- we don't have anything to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" crap -- only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? Do I look fat in this?) The answers will be nowhere, no, and yes, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you're from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted -- including money.

8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges," we are not friends, just bed buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is okay -- don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing -- I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get up, get dressed, go home, and donít hit your ass on the door going out.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I really don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position -- the less eye contact, the better, plus we can watch tv at the same time.

18. NO condoms means NO sex.

19. Bring your own drink -- I am not a liquor store.

20. No phone use, please -- I don't want anyone calling back looking for you.

21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying... you pay this time, I pay next.

22. Don't bring any of your friends with you unless they're gonna join the party.

* Extra tip for successful booty calls:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void, and you will then be removed from the Booty Call List and deleted from phone memory and e-mail list. In otherwords, you will be blocked from all communications until you understand the rules.

Participating Party 1:
Signature:_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party 2:
Signature:_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Church is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 06:19 PM   #11 (permalink)
High Honorary Junkie
 
Location: Tri-state.
i'm sure that I could do this - it's been done - but I still have to think pretty highly of the friend
macmanmike6100 is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 06:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
I want some kind of connection with the person. Sex has a lot of responsibility and I never really realized all the stuff it stirs up in a relationship, I don't think I would want to deal with all that stuff in only a friendship.
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 06:56 PM   #13 (permalink)
beauty in the breakdown
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Yeah, I have to say that I think I would become attached.

I also think that the best relationships are essentially best friends. The ones that I have noticed lasted the longest really do just seem like friends more than anything else.

Not to say that I wouldnt mind hooking up with a friend occasionally, but for me, that would essentially mean the start of a relationship.

I think the only time I could have random sexual activity with *no* strings attached would be if, say, you met a girl at a party. Although doing that frequently isnt exactly the safest thing in the world to do.
__________________
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato
sailor is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 09:15 PM   #14 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: DC
My girlfriend and I started as friends with benefits. We were like that for a year before I began having seriously strong romantic feelings for her and wanted a commitment, although we are still not monogamous.
TweaklessM is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 10:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Only problem with this is when one person gets attached.. it gets hard after that.
__________________
Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
FallenAvatar is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 10:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
Justified
 
Location: West Lafayette, IN
I couldn't do it, because I usually get attached to a person really bad, so I am sure it would just lead to that. It'd be nice if I could do the whole friends with benefits thing though. I wouldn't mind using that pre-booty agreement right about now. :-D
__________________
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 11:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
Irradiation for fun and profit
 
Location: Controlled access area
Quote:
Originally posted by FallenAvatar
Only problem with this is when one person gets attached.. it gets hard after that.
That is definitely the problem; I've had a couple of flings where I had known the girl for quite awhile and she stated that she wanted sex. In both cases despite the fact that I had done my best to make sure that it was just a physical thing it went awry when the girl developed an emotional attachment. At that point it really isn't worth it; sex without emotion isn't that great, and it certainly isn't worth hurting the girl over.
davik is offline  
Old 10-19-2003, 11:37 PM   #18 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: In my own little world.
I had a couple of those type of relationships they are great no hang ups just two friends that need satisfaction.To me sex is passionate energy put into motion,emotion has nothing to do with it.
psicon is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 01:49 PM   #19 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
The one time I entered such a relationship it only took the girl about a week to get completely emotionally BOUND to me. She cut off a long-term relationship just so should could have a better shot at me (and we live two states apart, we were going to the same school for about a month). I ended it then.

It hasn't worked in practice and I don't see it working very well in theory, either. The act is just too emotional, and I doubt that all parties involved in a fuckbuddy relationship can keep emotional distance for very long.
__________________
The facehugger is short-lived outside the egg which normally protects it. Armed with a long grasping tail, a spray of highly-concentrated acid and the single-minded desire to impregnate a single selected prey using its extending probe, it will fearlessly pursue and attack a single selected target until it has succeeded in attachment or it or its target is dead
Xenomorph is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 01:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
IC3
Poison
 
IC3's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
I like sex with no strings attached.

Sex is sex...Making love to a girl is a whole different thing, Something I haven't done...Except with one girl.

All the rest is just sex.
__________________
"To win any battle, you must fight as if you were already dead" -Musashi
IC3 is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 02:07 PM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Rio Grande Valley, Texas
I'm conflicted about this one:

I think that sex can be "just sex", but the majority of Americans (at least, this may be too narrow) are raised in a culture where sex is brainwashed into us to equal love.

Sex without love in these cultures is sometimes less than optimal.

Theoretically, one could distance one's self from the cultural influences, and just have fun, but that can be /very/ difficult, even for someone with a strong will. I know I can't do it.
__________________
"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)
strcrssd is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 02:50 PM   #22 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: northern california
best way to go by far. But isn't that why they made cousins... hehehehehehe
__________________
...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...
vveronica is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 03:22 PM   #23 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by vveronica
best way to go by far. But isn't that why they made cousins... hehehehehehe

That's something I didn't need to hear. Really, did you need to say that?

For me, I'd rather have sex within some sort of relationship than just fucking. It's not brainwashing that did it, it just doesn't appeal to me that much. I'm not saying that I wouldn't, but I won't just go fuck someone because I'm horny.
MSD is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 03:39 PM   #24 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: New Mexico
I truly need the sense of purpose, of belonging, or conection, of loving and being loved, that come from marriage. But if I were a rich man, I'd be sore tempted to have a mistress on the side. Sexually, that would be the greatest.
__________________
Trueheart
Dale Kemp is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 03:42 PM   #25 (permalink)
Banned
 
thats the shit im working on that rite now
h2ogo69 is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 04:49 PM   #26 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: University of North Carolina at Greensboro
My current girlfriend and I did this for about 2 weeks or so before we realized we both wanted more in our relationship. We both realized that we had really strong feelings for each other, and that FWB wasnt what we wanted. We've now been going out ever since. Going on almost 5 months now.
__________________
Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace.

Last edited by Captain Canada; 10-20-2003 at 04:53 PM..
Captain Canada is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 05:33 PM   #27 (permalink)
Registered User
 
skysooner's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma
Fun if you are both into it, but it rarely happens that way. Usually one gets attached and then ends up faking not caring for the other person just to stay near them. I know that I would never be able to maintain such a relationship for long.
skysooner is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 06:36 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
I am currently enjoying a sexual relationship with my best friend. It's the best job with the best benefit package I've ever had!
__________________
She had diamonds on the inside.

~Ben Harper
kittenpie is offline  
Old 10-20-2003, 10:14 PM   #29 (permalink)
Banned
 
someone always gets attached... i've only done this once anyway, and it was with the girl i'd just broken up with a month prior... fucked casually for a while after that.. but it got in the way of emotions...
analog is offline  
Old 10-21-2003, 04:28 PM   #30 (permalink)
Insane
 
Emotions tend to mess everything up, if only there were a way to shut them off every now and then.
jerseyboy is offline  
Old 10-22-2003, 03:20 PM   #31 (permalink)
narcissist
 
Location: looking in a mirror
Hmm, I'm currently involved in a pretty serious relationship (got together as juniors in HS, now I'm a college sophomore), and I don't see it ending anytime soon, but if it does I think I'll be looking for something more casual, since I've been in serious relationships with no real breaks since I was a freshman in HS.

And if I dooo need a FWB I've got a girl in mind that'd work quite nicely. /end impossible dreaming
__________________
it's all about self-indulgence
majik_6 is offline  
Old 10-22-2003, 06:03 PM   #32 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: The Great Northwest
If you can just keep it friends

It does get harder when one gets attached. I found with myself and my friends the more times you have sex it adds to the emotional connection.

I have gotten seriously attached to the "friend with benefits" I have in the past two or three months.

It's hard.
Rowan is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 03:48 PM   #33 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Alaska
I say go for it. Sex is just something that you need. If you enjoy sex you can keep it just that, SEX!
To be in love is another matter for another String......
Alaska_Man is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 06:31 PM   #34 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Davidson College, NC
A beautiful thing indeed.
Eldaire is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 07:53 PM   #35 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: STL, MO
I have casual sex with friends on occasion (last night). I try to not make it terribly regular because of the chance that emotions may get in the way. It's fun most of the time though. I don't personally see anything *really* wrong with it. Just practice safe sex kids
__________________
"Saints need sinners."
Alan Watts
31Friction is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 08:15 PM   #36 (permalink)
Junk
 
I'm lucky in the sense that the women I frequent are mature enough to understand the difference between shit and bullshit. If people feel fucking is better when in love good for them. Sex is just one of the many experiences in life in which personal meaning can be applied to for whatever emotion is sought.
__________________
" In Canada, you can tell the most blatant lie in a calm voice, and people will believe you over someone who's a little passionate about the truth." David Warren, Western Standard.
OFKU0 is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 08:24 PM   #37 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Texas
This probably won't ever happen to me but I wish :P
Telethon is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 08:51 PM   #38 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Personally, I have atleast 5 or 6 that I rotate....Its nice to have more than one because some are busy some nights and some have boyfriends occasionally.

It works out fine for what we want. And nothing more. I'm probably a bastard for this in some way, but they don't want anymore than sex, and personally, I don't either. My only vice is they have to be tested for VD so we're all still clean afterwards. Of course we use protection

It works.
__________________
the light that burns twice as bright
burns half as long

and you have burned so very, very brightly
YzermanS19 is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 09:55 PM   #39 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Australia
Yeah I've had a 'fuckbudy'. Started of as good friends and we ending up having sex on her birthday after a few to many drinks. Was great, we were both single at the time and decided that having sex on ocassions was fun but swore we would never 'make love'. Stuck to that plan for nearlly 1 & 1/2 years on and off depending on the other relationships we've been in.

Made me trully realise that there is a world of difference between sex and making love. There both great but the later can't be beat when in a great relationship, onlly problem is they are pretty rare.
jw_toyboy is offline  
Old 11-06-2003, 11:08 PM   #40 (permalink)
Vanishing, like I do..
 
Location: Austin, TX
Uhm, dunno about most here... but my wife is my best friend, and I get some pretty damn good benefits.
__________________
Toy-like people make me boy-like.
meff is offline  
 

Tags
benefits, friends

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:08 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360