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Old 11-17-2003, 09:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
I want to go to a massage parlor. Any tips?

I havn't done this before and am a little green.

I want physical contact with a female but I want it to be safe - I don't want STD's or to get arrested, etc.

For now, I think that I would like to be massaged and jerked off (or BJ).

If anyone has been to massage places before, any advice would be appreciated.

Specifically:

1. how do you know if a place provides services other than a massage?

2. how do you broach the subject if you're not sure?

3. When you get ready for the massage (assuming you do not know the answer to #1 and #2), do you wear a towel or just lay on the table nude? If nude, on stomach or back?

4. how do you negociate the price?

Please give me any advice or experiences that you've had.

After I go, I will provide an update to my experience.
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Old 11-17-2003, 09:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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A real place won't advertise how "exotic" there women are or anything like that.

That's a good start.
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Old 11-17-2003, 10:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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FIRST of all, I am a REAL massage therapist, and think that it's absolute bullshit that people use the cover of a 'massage' place to advertise and make it 'legal' and play innocent. MEH on them all... [/rant]

Second of all, pretty much if they advertise in the New Times, you've probably got a good chance of getting what you want. Call a place that you're interested in, ask what percentage of their clients are men/women. Usually if a place has a higher percentage of men, you'd be good to go. Ask how many 'massage therapists" there are, and how many are women. Also ask about pricing, and 'tipping' arrangements, services offered, etc. Don't flat out ask if they'll give you a handjob. But you can tell by the way they talk about their business and services what they really do offer. If they sound professional and legitimate, don't even THINK about going in there and insinuating anything. Just make phone calls, or stop in one and check it out, saying that you've been thinking about getting a massage and you wanted to see what services are offered and what the price range is.


*sheesh* I can't believe I just used information that I learned in school to stay away from those places to lead you to them.
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Old 11-17-2003, 11:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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lol, this reminds me of an episode of The League of Gentlemen and some very dodgy practices at the massage parlour.
damn that was a good show!

sorry about not helping you though....
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Old 11-18-2003, 06:34 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Did you get this idea from The Man Show? They just did a skit on this, and it was pretty funny.
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Old 11-18-2003, 07:24 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I would ove to know the details when you return, I might be intrested in going myself
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Old 11-18-2003, 08:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm studying abroad in Asia, and Ill tell you that 9/10 massage parlors here got what you're looking for. Maybe a nice vacation to South East Asia would be in order?

T
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Old 11-18-2003, 09:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
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ask for the body shampoo, this is superior for sexing with no std!

she soap you up then you jizz in the bubble! this is first rate!
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Old 11-18-2003, 11:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I suppose it all depends on your location... It's probably way too tacky to call places and ask if they offer a "happy ending" - perhaps I've been watching too much television.
 
Old 11-18-2003, 12:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
Loser
 
I don't know about the "extra" services.

I just enjoy a normal long massage.
I prefer having a lady do it.
I recommend doing it for at least an hour.
And make sure that you tell them of particular tight spots you have (no, not that...like your neck)

You can be nude or wear you underwear,
if you want your buttocks done because you sit a lot...go nude.
They will give you a towel and/or robe to cover yourself.
Usually they start you on your stomach.
Be prepared to take a shower after.

An hour at my spa cost 70 bucks for an hour.

I've also found if you talk and flirt with them the give you extra time for free.
Last time I got an extra 20 minutes, I think my record is an extra hour (yum)

Please make sure you tip them decently...like 20% or so.

If you are going to a normal one, you won't need to go often,
maybe once every six months or so.
Depends on how tight or stressed you get.
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Old 11-18-2003, 01:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
.
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by air45
ask for the body shampoo, this is superior for sexing with no std!

she soap you up then you jizz in the bubble! this is first rate!
absolutely hilarious.
airīs right. sex can sometimes be bad... but an R+T is always good.

remember, you have to come back here and tell us how it went.
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Old 11-18-2003, 02:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Ahh yes the good old happy ending massage. They are nice however nothing beats a proper massage from a well trained professional. Having said that I am reminded of a scam that hapend in Melburne earlier this year where a 'massage palor' allowed guys to use there Medicare card to get a rebate for what really was a brothel. Now thats service with a smile. Make taxpayers fot the bill for your unsatisfacotry sex life
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Old 11-18-2003, 04:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Try www.utopiaguide.com

I have never been to one, so I can not give you any advice. Good luck. Let us know how things went.
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Old 11-18-2003, 04:38 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I want physical contact with a female but I want it to be safe - I don't want STD's or to get arrested, etc.

For now, I think that I would like to be massaged and jerked off (or BJ).
Don't want to get arrested or get STIs? Don't go. Massage parlors that offer "special" services in my state are illegal and not legitimate parlors. So the first rule is to know the law of your land. Find out if these extra services are legal or not.
If they are giving these services, you are opening yourself to the risk of getting an STI no matter how safe their practices are. Any sexual activity makes you vulnerable to that. If they don't use condoms to give blowjobs or gloves for handjobs as a general rule of thumb, I wouldn't go there.

Personally, I recommend going to a real massage therapist (a Certified Massage Therapist, CMT) and getting a real, legitimate massage. Then go out to a social place, like a coffee shop, or go to dance lessons, and meet women to make friends with, or date. You can touch women friends, maybe not in a dirty way, but you did say "physical contact" and that constitutes physical contact. This way, you'll be meeting women who are actually interested in being your friend or lover instead of women being paid under minimum wage, who may not speak English, who may have STIs, who may be committing an illegal act, who may think you're a digusting lech but gives you special services against their will because someone is holding their passport or visa for ransom.

If sexual contact is what you mean by "physical contact," then try an adult dating/connection service like adultfriendfinder.com, or alt.com, or craigslist.com in the casual section. You can meet people, often for free, who have similar interests, who aren't being paid to do it. They're doing it because, like you, that's just what they're looking for/enjoy casual sex(ual contact).
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Old 11-18-2003, 08:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by motdakasha
Don't want to get arrested or get STIs? Don't go. Massage parlors that offer "special" services in my state are illegal and not legitimate parlors. So the first rule is to know the law of your land. Find out if these extra services are legal or not.
If they are giving these services, you are opening yourself to the risk of getting an STI no matter how safe their practices are. Any sexual activity makes you vulnerable to that. If they don't use condoms to give blowjobs or gloves for handjobs as a general rule of thumb, I wouldn't go there.

Personally, I recommend going to a real massage therapist (a Certified Massage Therapist, CMT) and getting a real, legitimate massage. Then go out to a social place, like a coffee shop, or go to dance lessons, and meet women to make friends with, or date. You can touch women friends, maybe not in a dirty way, but you did say "physical contact" and that constitutes physical contact. This way, you'll be meeting women who are actually interested in being your friend or lover instead of women being paid under minimum wage, who may not speak English, who may have STIs, who may be committing an illegal act, who may think you're a digusting lech but gives you special services against their will because someone is holding their passport or visa for ransom.

If sexual contact is what you mean by "physical contact," then try an adult dating/connection service like adultfriendfinder.com, or alt.com, or craigslist.com in the casual section. You can meet people, often for free, who have similar interests, who aren't being paid to do it. They're doing it because, like you, that's just what they're looking for/enjoy casual sex(ual contact).
I've had real massages before and they do wonders. I'm not looking for a relationship (I have one).

Ur right, I do not want to get a STD

I dont think that girls (here anyway) are making minimum wage - though I don't doubt that in many places woman are routinely exploited.

I expect to probably pay between $100 - 150.

Being illegal, yes I know it is in most states.

Being immoral - yes I'm sure it is and I've not taken this lightly.

I want sexual contact, but also physical closeness.
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Old 11-18-2003, 08:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I've had real massages before and they do wonders. I'm not looking for a relationship (I have one).
If you have a relationship, why are you looking elsewhere for contact? (if you don't mind me asking)
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Old 11-18-2003, 09:19 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Here's the deal. I have been to a couple of the establishments you are talking about and here is how it worked for me.

First off, the type of massage parlors you are looking for are typically the Asian named parlors in your area. Check your yellow pages and the sports section of the newspaper. I am sure you will find one if you live in a moderately sized city. The sure way to know you are at a place that gives more of a full service is if you have to ring a buzzer to get in the door. Typically you will be greeted by an older 'mamasan' who will take the initial massage fee from you. In the places I have been, it is $60 up front. Don't ask her for sex or is the place offers sex. She will say no and possible kick you out. You will then be escorted to a room by the girl who will actually be doign the massage. Some places also offer a 'table shower' along with the massage. Once you get back to your room after she showers you, what you want to do it get more money out of your wallet and lay it on the table. Prices vary for whatever service you want. Depending on where you are at, it is around $100-$150 for full service. She will typically get the hint and ask you if you want something else. Basically you say that you want everything, and then enjoy. Hope this helps and is what you were looking for.

A website that you might want to check out is WSG Forum . This site has info based on what city/area you live. It can help you on prices and availablity. As a warning, there are NSFW pics on some of the threads there, but it is mainly just a forum similar to this one for 'mongering'.
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Old 11-19-2003, 08:15 PM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sillygirl
If you have a relationship, why are you looking elsewhere for contact? (if you don't mind me asking)
That's a very good question but I'm not sure that I have a good answer.


I intensely love my partner, but sexually we don't seem to connect (figuratively and literally).. I think that a lot of this is due to history and circumstance ( I think we both share the blame).

I just have needs and I want to remember that I am alive.
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Old 11-19-2003, 09:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Pa
Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I just have needs and I want to remember that I am alive.
wow, u sound like a dirtball man. sorry if that offends u, but that last line is offensive to anyone who loves their partner...
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Old 11-19-2003, 09:40 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I completely agree. Shit. How does SHE feel about you wanting to do that? Personally, if my SO was talking about going to a massage parlor for contact like that, I'd be outta THAT relationship as soon as the sentence was finished.
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Old 11-20-2003, 06:43 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I intensely love my partner, but sexually we don't seem to connect (figuratively and literally).. I think that a lot of this is due to history and circumstance ( I think we both share the blame).
If you are in a marriage, get working on fixing it. History and circumstance can be worked around, especially if the love is still there on both sides. If you are dating, still consider fixing it.
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Old 11-20-2003, 08:45 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ
alright, if your in a relationship and you arent clicking physically, their is something wrong. personally i believe that a true relationship requires intimacy...and if you cannot deliver that to eachother then you do not belong together.

if this "issue" that you two have is due to a past history between you two, then thats not right either....

one last thing....if you are even THINKING about cheating on her and asking people for advice on how to go about doing that, you my friend are a COMPLETE ASSHOLE. she does not deserve you at all. if you love her, the first thing you should do is talk to her about this, and try to work this out together.

at first i thought this would be a funny thing to post in...but after hearing that you are in a relationship with a girl you "love", you disgust me to no limits.
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Old 11-21-2003, 05:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: UCSB
I believe you need your magical singing negro to help you out with this situation... /Man Show
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Old 11-22-2003, 08:43 AM   #24 (permalink)
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My advice is, look for massage parlors in the phone book under "Relationship Counselor".
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Old 11-23-2003, 08:21 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I want sexual contact, but also physical closeness.

you might get the sex, but you wont get any closeness at a massage parlor. a massage parlor is more of an assembly line type of sex joint. a brothel, on the other hand, might be more in line with what you are looking for. of course, these are much harder to locate.

Quote:
Originally posted by Jackshit
I just have needs and I want to remember that I am alive.

am I the only one who sees that Jackshit seems to be in a world of emotional distress here? the two comments I quoted suggest to me that he is very unhappy in his relationship. obviously, I dont know what the "history" between he and his SO is, so I cant comment on the why's and wherefore's, but it sounds like his SO is emotionally as well as physically distant from him.

Jackshit, instead of the massage parlor, have you tried discussing this issue (the detachment, not the massage parlor) with your SO? if not, you should. remember, this is a very serious step you are contemplating. besides the risk of disease and arrest, what would your SO think if she found out?

finally, some of you (maximus, asudevil83) need to remember the TFP charter and rules. I dont think either of your comments were helpful or supportive in any way. rather, they were just extremely negative. thats not the TFP way.
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Old 12-04-2003, 02:13 PM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
No shit, give the guy a break.
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Old 12-04-2003, 02:46 PM   #27 (permalink)
Addict
 
wsgforum is a good place to check out
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Old 12-05-2003, 07:18 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: Near NYC
Man, this thread put a damper on what looked like an interesting topic. I'm too depressed to even think about an HJ.
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Old 12-06-2003, 06:03 PM   #29 (permalink)
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uv7piy: No kidding!
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Old 12-08-2003, 07:12 PM   #30 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: About 50,000 feet in the air... oh shit.
Ask them if they do police work. That's what you call it when you go to a massage parlor and they get you off. They might get a little bit testy at you, but I promise they've been asked before and they'll let it go really quickly... or agree.
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Old 12-08-2003, 07:28 PM   #31 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Washington DC
ok, fuck that, stop politicizing this god damn issue

i too am interested in such a service, so let me put it bluntly: where can i throw a 20 at some asian princess and get a full serviced blow job (in the DC area??)

-alec
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Old 12-09-2003, 03:43 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Won't happen that cheap, sorry. Check out http://www.wsgforum.com for places and prices. DC actually has a rather active participation on it's thread.
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Last edited by ebeye; 12-09-2003 at 03:45 AM..
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:52 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Really?

I appreciate the few people on here who actually gave advice to the question and not moral judgements. To each their own.
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:37 AM   #34 (permalink)
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oh shit, looks like a thread came back from the grave.
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Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
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Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:41 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by entropy289 View Post
I appreciate the few people on here who actually gave advice to the question and not moral judgements. To each their own.
For me it is (still) not a moral judgment. Go find a hooker if you want one. But stop shitting on my profession. I am a licensed massage therapist.
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Old 10-14-2009, 10:46 PM   #36 (permalink)
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The OP's username is "Jackshit" this thread was merely a troll, gauging reactions.
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:14 PM   #37 (permalink)
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A troll? Yes.

Vile? Probably.

Fantastic thread? Absolutely.

The downpour of hot beef was exhilarating to witness.
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:00 AM   #38 (permalink)
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This has to be one of the most interesting threads ever - don't care if it was contrived or not. Well done. As far as the OP is concerned, it is instinctual as animals to seek multiple partners and further the species, while it is society and religion that has tried to eliminate that instinct. Marriage is a religious rite, after all, and it promotes complacency which is great for the government and for churches everywhere. Few things settle people down like a spouse and kids. So I say get after it. I think amarth and hdg and sillygirl and a few others have pretty much given you the info you were looking for, if indeed you were looking for it and not merely conducting an experiment. either way, well done
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Old 10-17-2009, 08:25 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Location: Windiwana
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon View Post
For me it is (still) not a moral judgment. Go find a hooker if you want one. But stop shitting on my profession. I am a licensed massage therapist.
Is that so?

anyone ever ask you to tug on their wiener?
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:16 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSJTWIZTA View Post
Is that so?

anyone ever ask you to tug on their wiener?
Yes, I am an LMT, and further questions can go to http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...therapist.html.
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