my boyfriend's roomie is gay?!? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

InTeGrA77 · 12-10-2003, 11:42 AM

What do I do...I just started dating this guy, and I found out that his roommate is very gay, and so is his little brother...should I be worried, or not?

numist · 12-10-2003, 11:46 AM

nah, its ok, we had a thread on this before already.

As long as your b/f makes it clear that he isnt interested (in some amiable manner) than there shouldnt be any problems.

In relationships like this (especially with long distances involved) its normal for there to be a little worry involved, but in the end everything usually sorts itself out for the better.

Ah yes, and on your first day, welcome to the boards. If you need anything PM anyone.

lurkette · 12-10-2003, 11:53 AM

What, are you afraid it's catching?

Don't be worried - it doesn't mean your bf is gay, it just means his roommate is gay. Chill out, and be proud that your boyfriend is open and tolerant.

vonstalhein · 12-10-2003, 11:57 AM

If you find himself asking you to dress up as an American footballer or something....THEN start to worry. In my experience (as a straight person...) most hetero's are secretly homophobes.

punx1325 · 12-10-2003, 12:43 PM

I wouldn't worry about, I come with many stories from my horrible roommate. As long as your bf's roommate respects his privacy and is comfortable around that situation then you have nothing to worry about. Things could be wierd at times, but your boyfriend is only living there because it is convenient financially. If things get bad or too uncomfortable then he should move.

aurigus · 12-10-2003, 01:07 PM

You can always give him a "pop quiz" - then you will know for sure.

Arrion · 12-10-2003, 01:56 PM

He'll probably make a great roomate, clean, well groomed, polite, good fashion taste

I don't think you should be worried.

sailor · 12-10-2003, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arrion
He'll probably make a great roomate, clean, well groomed, polite, good fashion taste I don't think you should be worried.

Ha, nice.

Yeah, dont worry about it. I doubt your BF's roommate is going to ... sway... your BF. The worst that could happen would be for his roomie to hit on him. That could make for an awkward situation.

Litespeed · 12-10-2003, 03:15 PM

You do realize that your boyfriend's roomate being gay has absolutely nothing to do with your boyfriend's sexuality... right?

How does your man feel about it? Have they been roomies for long? If you're uncomfortable with things and your man is not, then you're probably just not able to see what goes on there on a day-to-day basis. Ask.

wally · 12-10-2003, 09:09 PM

Like everyone else has said, it's most likely nothing to worry about.

analog · 12-11-2003, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
What, are you afraid it's catching?

Don't be worried - it doesn't mean your bf is gay, it just means his roommate is gay. Chill out, and be proud that your boyfriend is open and tolerant.

lurkette speaks the truth.

His gay roommate has nothing to do with you, or him. Tolerance is a WONDERFUL attribute in a human being. Be GLAAD.

Also, let's try not stereotyping (cleanliness, fashion, etc.) anyone. It's just not good.

tritium · 12-11-2003, 02:15 AM

There are a few of us men in this world that don't automatically descriminate against homosexuals of our gender. Just because your boyfriend hangs out with a gay man doesn't make him gay.

Charlatan · 12-11-2003, 02:39 AM

So if your boyfriend had a roommate that was a woman does that mean he is sleeping with her or worse yet, that he wants to be a woman?

Just think about it for a moment and then get over it.

Bloodslick · 12-11-2003, 06:23 AM

It has been said that there's no such thing as a stupid question. . . . I'm not sure exactly what you're "worried" about, though. All of the possible answers that I can think of aren't things to worry about.

Quote:

Originally posted by analog
His gay roommate has nothing to do with you, or him. Tolerance is a WONDERFUL attribute in a human being. Be GLAAD.

I take back the positive comments I made about you in another post for the "GLAAD" thing.

Well, maybe not. I'm thinking about it, though!

skysooner · 12-11-2003, 07:06 AM

Would you be more worried about him living with a gay male or a heterosexual female? If he is interested in you, there should be no question. People are so much more open about their sexuality these days that they are not as likely to hide if they are bi-curious.

analog · 12-11-2003, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bloodslick
I take back the positive comments I made about you in another post for the "GLAAD" thing. Well, maybe not. I'm thinking about it, though!

I have a soft spot for word play and puns... sometimes I just can't help myself. lol

Dilbert1234567 · 12-11-2003, 11:39 AM

no dont worry, one of my close freinds in highschool was gay (flamin) im still straight. he wont change anything, you may have to adjust to his oddities, but thats easy. dont just push him away becuase he is gay.

Conclamo Ludus · 12-12-2003, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
What, are you afraid it's catching?

Don't be worried - it doesn't mean your bf is gay, it just means his roommate is gay. Chill out, and be proud that your boyfriend is open and tolerant.

Couldn't say it better. Me and three of my roommates are straight. We have a gay roommate too. Believe it or not it it is not a disease. It is not communicable. I use the same shower, the same sink, the same dishes, the same couch, even the same toilet seat as a gay man, and I haven't had the desire to love a man. Loving men makes you gay, not hanging out with gay men.

cumonuri · 12-12-2003, 08:36 PM

no just look the other way

impulse03 · 12-12-2003, 08:52 PM

i wouldnt worry about it at all. i actually had a gay room mate my freshman year of college. it was a little awkward when he brought a guy back the first time but i would just leave whenever it happened again. as long as you talk to your bf and make sure that he is ok with it all and has no interest in other guys, you're set.

and yes im new here.

timalkin · 12-13-2003, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by impulse03
i actually had a gay room mate my freshman year of college. it was a little awkward when he brought a guy back the first time but i would just leave whenever it happened again.

I don't think I'd enjoy hearing two guys going at it. I don't even want to hear my current roommate with a girl.

wannabenakid247 · 12-13-2003, 12:13 PM

What difference does it make? unless hes got a desire for other men you have no reason to worry. It is possible to live with people without having sex with them. Dont worry about it. Its normally people who are homophobic who turn out to be bi or gay.

timalkin · 12-13-2003, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wannabenakid247
Its normally people who are homophobic who turn out to be bi or gay.

I'd love to see the research on this one.

ismark · 12-13-2003, 03:17 PM

so he swings both ways? Whats the prob?

Woody182 · 12-13-2003, 03:52 PM

I'm unclear as to what there is to worry about. Have you met him and talked to him, I'm willing to bet he's just as normal (or abnormal) as your bf.

Falcon Inc · 12-16-2003, 05:09 PM

You should be worried. I hear gay men love to rape heterosexual men all the time.

Sarcasm Sarcasm Sarcasm

Ain't homophobia a bitch?

Finchie · 12-16-2003, 09:59 PM

Yes, you should definitely worry. Obviously he will catch the contagious disease of homosexuality, dump you, and break your heart. It would be the same thing if a gay girl moved in with you. The best thing to do is move in with a lesbian so you can suddenly and magically become gay too. That way, you can dump him first and he can't hurt you. Good idea, huh?

12-10-2003, 11:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
InTeGrA77 Psycho Location: the tangent universe	my boyfriend's roomie is gay?!? What do I do...I just started dating this guy, and I found out that his roommate is very gay, and so is his little brother...should I be worried, or not?

12-10-2003, 11:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
numist Banned Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love	nah, its ok, we had a thread on this before already. As long as your b/f makes it clear that he isnt interested (in some amiable manner) than there shouldnt be any problems. In relationships like this (especially with long distances involved) its normal for there to be a little worry involved, but in the end everything usually sorts itself out for the better. Ah yes, and on your first day, welcome to the boards. If you need anything PM anyone. Last edited by numist; 12-10-2003 at 11:50 AM..

12-10-2003, 11:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	What, are you afraid it's catching? Don't be worried - it doesn't mean your bf is gay, it just means his roommate is gay. Chill out, and be proud that your boyfriend is open and tolerant. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

12-10-2003, 11:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	If you find himself asking you to dress up as an American footballer or something....THEN start to worry. In my experience (as a straight person...) most hetero's are secretly homophobes. __________________ No Win No Fee

12-10-2003, 12:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
punx1325 Junkie Location: San Diego	I wouldn't worry about, I come with many stories from my horrible roommate. As long as your bf's roommate respects his privacy and is comfortable around that situation then you have nothing to worry about. Things could be wierd at times, but your boyfriend is only living there because it is convenient financially. If things get bad or too uncomfortable then he should move. __________________ If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

12-10-2003, 01:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
aurigus Insane	You can always give him a "pop quiz" - then you will know for sure.

12-10-2003, 01:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
Arrion Upright	He'll probably make a great roomate, clean, well groomed, polite, good fashion taste I don't think you should be worried. __________________ I think I am. Therefore I am. I think

12-10-2003, 03:15 PM	#9 (permalink)
Litespeed Loser Location: Thousand Oaks, CA	You do realize that your boyfriend's roomate being gay has absolutely nothing to do with your boyfriend's sexuality... right? How does your man feel about it? Have they been roomies for long? If you're uncomfortable with things and your man is not, then you're probably just not able to see what goes on there on a day-to-day basis. Ask.

12-10-2003, 09:09 PM	#10 (permalink)
wally Crazy	Like everyone else has said, it's most likely nothing to worry about.

12-11-2003, 02:15 AM	#12 (permalink)
tritium Professor of Drinkology	There are a few of us men in this world that don't automatically descriminate against homosexuals of our gender. Just because your boyfriend hangs out with a gay man doesn't make him gay. __________________ Blah.

12-11-2003, 02:39 AM	#13 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	So if your boyfriend had a roommate that was a woman does that mean he is sleeping with her or worse yet, that he wants to be a woman? Just think about it for a moment and then get over it. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

12-11-2003, 07:06 AM	#15 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Would you be more worried about him living with a gay male or a heterosexual female? If he is interested in you, there should be no question. People are so much more open about their sexuality these days that they are not as likely to hide if they are bi-curious.

12-11-2003, 11:39 AM	#17 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	no dont worry, one of my close freinds in highschool was gay (flamin) im still straight. he wont change anything, you may have to adjust to his oddities, but thats easy. dont just push him away becuase he is gay. __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

12-12-2003, 08:36 PM	#19 (permalink)
cumonuri Crazy	no just look the other way

12-12-2003, 08:52 PM	#20 (permalink)
impulse03 Crazy	i wouldnt worry about it at all. i actually had a gay room mate my freshman year of college. it was a little awkward when he brought a guy back the first time but i would just leave whenever it happened again. as long as you talk to your bf and make sure that he is ok with it all and has no interest in other guys, you're set. and yes im new here. __________________ BLUE HENS!

12-13-2003, 12:13 PM	#22 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	What difference does it make? unless hes got a desire for other men you have no reason to worry. It is possible to live with people without having sex with them. Dont worry about it. Its normally people who are homophobic who turn out to be bi or gay.

12-13-2003, 03:17 PM	#24 (permalink)
ismark Crazy Location: Sydney	so he swings both ways? Whats the prob? __________________ The Grumpy Old Bloke

12-13-2003, 03:52 PM	#25 (permalink)
Woody182 Crazy Location: Near Chicago, IL	I'm unclear as to what there is to worry about. Have you met him and talked to him, I'm willing to bet he's just as normal (or abnormal) as your bf. __________________ If I fall in love, will you forgive me? If I lose my way, will you choose me? If I change my mind, will you change me? -Smashing Pumpkins

12-16-2003, 05:09 PM	#26 (permalink)
Falcon Inc Upright	You should be worried. I hear gay men love to rape heterosexual men all the time. Sarcasm Sarcasm Sarcasm Ain't homophobia a bitch?

12-16-2003, 09:59 PM	#27 (permalink)
Finchie Tilted	Yes, you should definitely worry. Obviously he will catch the contagious disease of homosexuality, dump you, and break your heart. It would be the same thing if a gay girl moved in with you. The best thing to do is move in with a lesbian so you can suddenly and magically become gay too. That way, you can dump him first and he can't hurt you. Good idea, huh?