Help me see if I understand this - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Harshaw · 12-23-2003, 08:48 PM

I think I have had a dating break through. It's probably a "no duh" for most of you out there, but for me, it has only recently struck.

Ok, here is how I used to think of things. Whenever a girl showed interest in me (always sitting next to me, sitting very close to me, seeking me out to spend time with me) I would assume she wanted to be friends. I would think, "Hey, I've got this new friend. If I spend enough time with her, maybe one day we can start dating." Needless to say, this got me a lot of friends, but not a lot of dates.
So (and this is where I need input) I've started thinking, maybe when they first start showing signs of interest in me... maybe that is when I should try for the date option. Instead of waiting 2 or 3 years and then asking them out when we are fully intrenched in friendhood.

Am I on the right track here?

SecretMethod70 · 12-23-2003, 08:52 PM

lol, forgive me, but since you said it first.... "no duh"

Needless to say, I think that's a good idea and you should do that more often

Litespeed · 12-23-2003, 09:15 PM

Actually I have to counter SecretMethod's argument.
The best relationships come when friendships bloom into something more. When you show interest after time the girl has been able to trust you and they know that you are going to treat them right you both are better for it. The list of benefits goes on and on.

The ones that were never attracted to you in the first place are the ones who are friends and always will be friends. You just need to figure out which one has always had a secret crush on you and ask her out. Whose eyes light up the most when you walk into the room?

Lasting, trusting relationships are what you'll get out of your circle of friends. If that's what you're going for, keep with the way you're doing things now.

Just do yourself a favor and don't date female friends that are friends with one another. That's a recipe for disaster.

emphant · 12-23-2003, 11:14 PM

Worst. Advice. Ever.

He just said that he is doing that, and all it gets him is a bunch of friends.

Harshaw, I'm glad you figured it out, I had to do the same thing. You seem to have it down. They act interested, try to date them, try to kiss them, wine em, dine em, etc...

I bet you will love the results.

SVT01Cobra · 12-23-2003, 11:16 PM

If you're looking for getting girls, check here.

Getting Girls 101

The friendship route is not a very good way to get any action

vonstalhein · 12-24-2003, 03:37 AM

Hah, yeah take the lessons from the pro'.

Friends are plentiful, but hot acquaintances seldom sit that close to you unless they want something other than friendship...

SecretMethod70 · 12-24-2003, 04:02 AM

Since I wasn't very elaborate with my answer, I actually agree with Litespeed as well. But the key is to start those friendships with a certain "tone" of possibly leading to something more. I have befriended all of my past girlfriends before I dated them because I'm not comfortable dating someone who I don't know at all, but as I was building the friendship I made sure that it was understood that I was attracted to them through liberal flirting, etc.

I have no idea how to actually describe it, but it's true. *shrug*

12-23-2003, 08:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	Help me see if I understand this I think I have had a dating break through. It's probably a "no duh" for most of you out there, but for me, it has only recently struck. Ok, here is how I used to think of things. Whenever a girl showed interest in me (always sitting next to me, sitting very close to me, seeking me out to spend time with me) I would assume she wanted to be friends. I would think, "Hey, I've got this new friend. If I spend enough time with her, maybe one day we can start dating." Needless to say, this got me a lot of friends, but not a lot of dates. So (and this is where I need input) I've started thinking, maybe when they first start showing signs of interest in me... maybe that is when I should try for the date option. Instead of waiting 2 or 3 years and then asking them out when we are fully intrenched in friendhood. Am I on the right track here? __________________ This too shall pass.

12-23-2003, 08:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	lol, forgive me, but since you said it first.... "no duh" Needless to say, I think that's a good idea and you should do that more often __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

12-24-2003, 03:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Hah, yeah take the lessons from the pro'. Friends are plentiful, but hot acquaintances seldom sit that close to you unless they want something other than friendship... __________________ No Win No Fee

12-24-2003, 04:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	Since I wasn't very elaborate with my answer, I actually agree with Litespeed as well. But the key is to start those friendships with a certain "tone" of possibly leading to something more. I have befriended all of my past girlfriends before I dated them because I'm not comfortable dating someone who I don't know at all, but as I was building the friendship I made sure that it was understood that I was attracted to them through liberal flirting, etc. I have no idea how to actually describe it, but it's true. shrug __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

12-23-2003, 09:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Litespeed Loser Location: Thousand Oaks, CA	Actually I have to counter SecretMethod's argument. The best relationships come when friendships bloom into something more. When you show interest after time the girl has been able to trust you and they know that you are going to treat them right you both are better for it. The list of benefits goes on and on. The ones that were never attracted to you in the first place are the ones who are friends and always will be friends. You just need to figure out which one has always had a secret crush on you and ask her out. Whose eyes light up the most when you walk into the room? Lasting, trusting relationships are what you'll get out of your circle of friends. If that's what you're going for, keep with the way you're doing things now. Just do yourself a favor and don't date female friends that are friends with one another. That's a recipe for disaster.

12-23-2003, 11:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
emphant Crazy Location: Meeshagain	Worst. Advice. Ever. He just said that he is doing that, and all it gets him is a bunch of friends. Harshaw, I'm glad you figured it out, I had to do the same thing. You seem to have it down. They act interested, try to date them, try to kiss them, wine em, dine em, etc... I bet you will love the results.

12-23-2003, 11:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	If you're looking for getting girls, check here. Getting Girls 101 The friendship route is not a very good way to get any action