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Old 04-24-2004, 09:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
A Question for the Ladies

I'm wondering what makes you want to be with a man?
I know that he has to treat you like a lady and that there has to be a connection;
obvious things like:
he has to treat you as an equal or better
has to be there for you; even if a situation makes him uncomfortable
Those things are obvious.
But what makes you want to spend time with him?
Whether that's personal time or intimate time.

I'm just wondering becuase I know that men and women often want to get together but don't because they don't communicate well enough (at least that's true for me)
I'm not a player and am not going to use this info in a conciously deceptive manner.

edit: Yes its true I don't have any ladies here to ask so I'M ASKING YOU ALL!

Last edited by Tuffy_McGee; 04-24-2004 at 10:34 PM..
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Old 04-25-2004, 12:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I want to be with a man when he makes me feel good about myself, brings out the best in me, makes me laugh, makes me feel comfortable and at ease. If i can tease with him or joke around and he can joke back i want to spend more time with him.

Intimately, i want to be with a guy who lets me know that he's interested, but not in a dirty sleazy way. As well, i like to be made to feel femine, maybe that's why i'm attracted to the typical 'mans man' I dunno, my list goes on and on...
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Old 04-25-2004, 12:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks for answering.
I met someone tonight and got sort of close to them and that made me think.

On a side note: I'm kind of shy and like I said not a player. But if the opportunity comes up to sleep with someone right away (no dates or anything) I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's really not the right thing to do in some ways; there are some complications. On the other hand when two people want to have sex, they probably will.
Don't know what to do.
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Old 04-25-2004, 02:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well, you being a guy in all I think you are the one that should put off sex with her until your 2nd date or 2nd week,because she would feel like you did not want her for just the goods lol(no matter how bad she wants it wait a little, hard to get).
I think some girls think that if they have sex with the guy they like, he will like her even more.

I make sure the guy I end up dating is like a friend at first, we will play basket ball and we will do other not so close things, then I will slowly hold hands kiss,a back rub then sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!(dont want to seem sluty)
I date long term, I have not had a short term relationship,because I think of all my boyfriends I have ever dated as potential husbands,this might be weird but I have always wanted to get married and thats why I have long relationships to make sure I get to know them really well.
Sorry for going on and on.
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Old 04-25-2004, 10:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I want to spend time with a man who can just sit around and be lazy with me. It is nice to go out and do things, but it is also nice once in a while to lay down on the couch in my underwear watching stupid TV shows. I need to be with someone as easy going as I am. It is also nice to be with a man who can give you his undivided attention when you need it, but also be in the same house and entertain himself while I do something.

Men that need too much care are not fun to be around. This would be a man that needs to be entertained constantly, that needs to be talked to all the time, and needs to either be surrounded by tons of people or have tons of things going on.

I also like a man that can go from being bored and lazy at one moment to being horny and sexual the next minute. Kind of catches you by surprise.

I hope that helps. It doesn't really make sense, I know, but when asking a question like that, does one really expect a sensical response?
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Old 04-25-2004, 10:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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A man that is motivated -- has potential (a good job, or getting and education, etc.)
A man that really listens to me!
A man that compliments me so sincerely, that I feel it deep down. (none of that fack stuff -- it sucks and is very transparent.)
Someone I can laugh with and laughs with me.
Someone who doesn't mind doing his share around the house and yard -- and who appreciates my contributions.
Someone who accepts my weaknesses.
A pasionate lover who touches me during the day as well as at night(a phone call, a note, im, email, etc.).
A family guy.
A spiritual man .
Someone I can have an intelligent conversation with.
Someone I can talk about nothing with.
Someone who is fun to hang out with.
Someone who loves me for me and accepts that I love him for him.
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Old 04-25-2004, 11:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Someone who I can have an intelligent conversation with is the first biggie in my book. If they can pass that, then thoughtfulness, making me feel like they enjoy being around me, and being able to have a good time doing just about anything will make me really interested in the guy.
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Old 04-25-2004, 12:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Wow, all of you ladies are awesome!

qtpye4u84: I like when you say "then sex!!!!!!!!!!!!", It's like "weeeeee!!"

Rubyee: you sound very nice.

Sexymama: I like your answer; most guys should strive to be this person whom you've described (if they are not already)

amonkie: I'm intelligent! hehe

After talking to her again I realized that something wasn't right. She's older than I am (older woman ) and she said some weird stuff and when I asked what she was looking for, she said that she already has a boyfriend! I was thinking WTF? I told her, "Oh well that's it then. How do you think your boyfriend would feel? Guys have feelings, too!"

I should have listened to the little voice in my head: it was going off like crazy last night.

Last edited by Tuffy_McGee; 04-25-2004 at 12:16 PM..
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Old 04-25-2004, 01:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm happy you got an answer from her one way or another. The last thing i was gonna say was, in your hunt for a lover /some way or another... just try to be yourself and act natural, that puts a lot of women at ease. And when women are at ease, the inner horn dog tends to show itself *giggle*
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Old 04-25-2004, 01:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I like a friend. And I like someone to protect me.

And I like cock.
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Old 04-25-2004, 01:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Hey! I'm sure cock likes you, too, la petite moi.

*thinking*
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:03 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: northern california
Bit more basic here. Since I'm not the very long term relationship type girl. To me it is more what I need now. If i feel I need the loving cuddling type. I find myself being attracted to guys like that. BUT, that can change, It is more grass is always greener type thing. I do have some basic requirements:
A big guy... 6' and 250 atleast... Im 4'11 and 90#, I like big guys
Successful in what he does... Be it job or other interests
The static free Guy.... I dont what my guys clingiingly possessive
and at least average looks... 2 eyes, all his teeth, nose correctly placed.

See Tuffy your assumption that you make in the first part of your thread is not always true. I know friends who get off on guys who treat them terribly. I am not one of those.. If a guy treats me bad they dont get to go out with me again... and they always want to go out with me again.
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Old 04-26-2004, 01:08 PM   #13 (permalink)
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One thing that guys should know about women is: they don't have to look like a model to get our interest. Generally speaking women are not as wrapped up in physical attributes as men are.

As I was thinking about your question all my first responses had to do with personality: Funny, very intelligent, independent. Then I moved on to the physical stuff: tall, dark and handsome! See how handsome is last?

I viewed guys as potential life-long partners (when I was in the market) and to remain interested in someone from 20 to 80 it has to be more than a physical attraction.
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Old 04-26-2004, 05:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Quote:
Originally posted by vveronica
If a guy treats me bad they dont get to go out with me again... and they always want to go out with me again.
250 is freaking huge. I need to gain like 100 pounds. (I'm 179 now)

Quote:
Originally posted by Redgirl
One thing that guys should know about women is: they don't have to look like a model to get our interest. Generally speaking women are not as wrapped up in physical attributes as men are.
Redgirl, I think that men obsess about looking at attractive women. I don't necessarily think that they want everyone to look like that. I think most women are attractive; They don't have to look like Kate Moss or a Playmate to look really good.

Last edited by Tuffy_McGee; 04-26-2004 at 05:28 PM..
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Native America
Well, you're one of the good ones, Tuffy. I'm glad you are more realistic in your expectations.

I still say a big majority of men are more swayed by a woman's physical attributes than her inner ones. Even women judge each other by those same standards a lot of the time. How can we avoid it considering the idea's of beauty we are continually bombarded with? But it's almost always women and not men who are held to a societal standard of beauty. I'm speaking from an American viewpoint here, maybe not all countries are like us in that way.

/rant (sorry, got off a bit there!)

Oh and vveronica - big guys= oh yeah!!!
Mine's 6'5" and 300lbs. I'm 5'5" and 135lbs. You know tall women HATE us when they see us with those big guys.
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Last edited by Redgirl; 04-26-2004 at 06:15 PM..
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Old 04-27-2004, 06:33 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Quote:
The red-painted female typed:
One thing that guys should know about women is: they don't have to look like a model to get our interest. Generally speaking women are not as wrapped up in physical attributes as men are.
http://www.forbes.com/lifestyle/heal...out518456.html

Quote:
When young women look for long-term mates, they really do prefer Ray Romano-types over the Brad Pitts and Arnold Schwarzeneggers of the world.

While they're attracted to muscular men for quick flings, female college students surveyed at two campuses said they'd choose scrawnier guys as spouses, according to new research.
Basically, when looking for long-term mates, females are not attracted to extremely attractive males. The theory goes that those attractive males will be harder to "keep": they will have more temptations and will be more likely to cheat/go to greener grass, and will have the personality features that match that sort of action.

Quote:
While the women surveyed tend to think of muscular men as more attractive and better in bed, they also think of them as "less faithful, less likely to treat them well and be less emotionally sensitive," said study co-author David Frederick
Extremely attractive females apparently rate extremely attractive men higher on that scale.

So, I'd suspect that a woman that was looking for a long-term relationship would care less about physical attractiveness. The same rules probably apply for men. The difference might be that more men are looking for short-term, and more women are looking for long-term, when they are evaluating the opposite sex.
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Old 04-28-2004, 09:42 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: northern california
Quote:
Oh and vveronica - big guys= oh yeah!!!
Mine's 6'5" and 300lbs. I'm 5'5" and 135lbs. You know tall women HATE us when they see us with those big guys. [/B]
Yeah they are!!! My guy is the same height and about 35 pounds heavier. And well proportioned "ALL OVER" heheheheh
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Old 04-28-2004, 09:47 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Redgirl
Oh and vveronica - big guys= oh yeah!!!
Mine's 6'5" and 300lbs. I'm 5'5" and 135lbs. You know tall women HATE us when they see us with those big guys.
Hey you two, lay off the tall guys! This poor 5'8" girl would like a tall guy too! Sniff.

Seriously, why do most tall guys like the little tiny girls?

I like being as tall as I am, I really do. But little short tiny girls get on my nerves.

Okay, not really. I'm having an odd day, ignore me
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Old 04-28-2004, 10:06 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Pa, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Averett
Hey you two, lay off the tall guys! This poor 5'8" girl would like a tall guy too! Sniff.

Seriously, why do most tall guys like the little tiny girls?

I like being as tall as I am, I really do. But little short tiny girls get on my nerves.

Okay, not really. I'm having an odd day, ignore me
Interesting post.

My friend won't date girls as tall as he is, which I find peculiar. Maybe it's because they can look him in the eye and possibly also keep him in line, if the need arises.

Seriously though, I am not sure why some guys seem to consider tallness in girls as a turnoff. I know a few people that take this view, and they don't really have a reason for it other than that's just the way they are.

I'm a big fan of taller girls, for many reasons.. But I don't set a height standard when searching for a potential Miss Right.

I think there should be enough physical attraction to have two people meet and be interested in one another to the point of talking, and then it should come down to more important things, like personality, likeability, and whether they like animals or not (yea, that's a biggie for me).

I also have a goal of a long term relationship right off the getgo, and I think that may be a minority view of college age people, as partying and quick flings seem to be more fun, and popular.
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Old 04-28-2004, 11:36 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by Grondar
I'm a big fan of taller girls, for many reasons.. But I don't set a height standard when searching for a potential Miss Right.
You don't want to have overly high standards for Miss Right?

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