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Old 05-09-2003, 10:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How do you know when to end a relationship?

Simple question really, How do you really know when to end a relationship?
Can you get to a point where you feel that this really isn't the one? And how do you know?
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Old 05-10-2003, 07:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Consider your biggest goals in life and be honest with yourself if they are negotiable. If your girlfriend's goals are different and also non-negotiable, it's time to move on. Even if you are physically attracted to each other, you never fight, you get a long on many levels, etc., it will not work in the long run if your goals are different.

One of my friends has been dating a woman for almost three years. They are both mid 20s. They claim to have never fought over anything major in the three year relationship. They get along perfect... like peanutbutter and jelly... like toast and butter.. BUT.. she wants to be married and start a family in the next five years. HE, on the other hand, won't be ready for a family for at least the next 15-20. Neither is willing to negotiate on THIS one issue. They broke up, but are still very good friends.

It doesn't matter HOW hot your girlfriend is, don't let the fear of not being able to find another girlfriend as beautiful hold you back from breaking up if that's what you need to do. I notice a lot of guys in bad relationships hold on because they are afraid of being alone. You won't be alone for long.

At the end, you really KNOW deep inside whether it's right. It's just always night to get your thoughts validated by friends or TFP.
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Old 05-11-2003, 11:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I know to get out of a relationship when: I just want out; I would rather be with someone else; or if they lose interest.
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Old 05-12-2003, 09:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Remember a brat-pack movie called 'Some Kind Of Wonderful'..? There was a line that went something like 'better to be alone for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong reasons'.

I've yet to come across a better way of putting it. If you are starting to ask yourself about the relationship, then perhaps you already know that it's not going anywhere.

I got married last weekend. I knew very quickly that she was the one - the one that I'd always thought I'd never meet.

Maybe it's the same as knowing when you have met that special person; you also know that you haven't.
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Old 05-12-2003, 09:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
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when even their breathing makes you mad.... then it's time to make sure it ends.
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Old 05-12-2003, 01:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
when even their breathing makes you mad.... then it's time to make sure it ends.
I guess it is time then.
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Old 05-12-2003, 05:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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When you can't overlook the small things she does and you can't remember why you fell in love. If you look into her eyes and don't see the passion. When you look into the future and you don't always see her. Make some decisions. Good luck choosing a path and starting the hike.
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Old 05-12-2003, 08:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
when even their breathing makes you mad.... then it's time to make sure it ends.
Wow, thats pretty serious!
Great advice guys, I'm pulling some out for myself here and there. I need it too, I tend to have extremely long, drawn out brake up periods that really aren't necessary.

Also, congrats to the guy who just got married!
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:47 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I started working at my current job about 11 months ago, which is where my (now) girlfriend works. We were friends only for all but the last 2 months, when we started going out. We're very much in love and are getting engaged soon, all in about a month and a half. Part of the reason for the fast pace is we click, and our life goals are the same. Neither of us EVER want kids. HUGE sigh of relief for both of us, because neither of us would bend on that. We both want to wait to actually marry until we're out of school in a year or two, and we both want the best for each other... make your decision based on what you both want out of life- if they're different and can't be changed, move on. You'll find another.
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Old 05-14-2003, 12:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I would say knowing when to end a relationship is at the point when you don't care if you ever see that person ever again.
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Old 05-14-2003, 03:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
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when you dont care. hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is..................
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Old 01-04-2010, 10:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
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got some important stuf!! but i need some advice please,,,,
my boyfriend and i had the relationship about 1 year,,and some few days after we went out with my friends to a movie,, and that day i refused his relationship!!and my friends used to tell don't end this relationship and so on,, i was sooo,,,weak on that moment,,and afterwards v started the relationship but i was happy when i meet him and have a physical interaction,,and now,,i dnt even like to talk to him either to meet him,,i don't knw what to do,, if u'l can,, please giv some more instructions to end this,,,
and of course,, the above instructions do helped me,, but i want some more confident!!if u'l tell me some more, i will b good on that,,!!
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Old 01-04-2010, 11:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Yeah, If I feel like they aren't the one. If I'm generally unhappy. If we argue all the time. If we don't have the same goals. If they cheat on me.
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Old 01-04-2010, 02:01 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdwonderful View Post
when you dont care. hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is..................
Simple, but very well put.
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Old 01-04-2010, 03:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
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When you began asking the question "How do you know when to end a relationship?".

If you're thinking about breaking it off its probably a good sign things are going in the wrong direction otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about it.
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Old 01-04-2010, 04:04 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth View Post
When you began asking the question "How do you know when to end a relationship?".

If you're thinking about breaking it off its probably a good sign things are going in the wrong direction otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about it.
I think this is a sign someone is worried/stressed about their relationship as well. This could be because something is actually wrong or because they are being neurotic, though.
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Old 01-04-2010, 06:53 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Oh without a doubt Toaster. Although from personal experience I've always found when a relationship is on its last legs I usually spend a lot of time thinking about weather its really over or how to end it. I think its just one of the steps you take in the process of breaking up.

Although thinking about it maybe its a sign that two people need to sit, talk and patch up whatever the problem is. Perhaps as much of a sign to mend the relationship as it is to end it? Relationships...you just HAVE to admire the hoops humans go through for love!
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Old 01-04-2010, 10:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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The different life goals are a sure sign things may not be so good long term. Sadly you just have to honest and sort it out before you hate each other.
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Old 01-04-2010, 11:03 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dsaiuyerw View Post
got some important stuf!! but i need some advice please,,,,
my boyfriend and i had the relationship about 1 year,,and some few days after we went out with my friends to a movie,, and that day i refused his relationship!!and my friends used to tell don't end this relationship and so on,, i was sooo,,,weak on that moment,,and afterwards v started the relationship but i was happy when i meet him and have a physical interaction,,and now,,i dnt even like to talk to him either to meet him,,i don't knw what to do,, if u'l can,, please giv some more instructions to end this,,,
and of course,, the above instructions do helped me,, but i want some more confident!!if u'l tell me some more, i will b good on that,,!!
I'm not entirely sure that I understand your situation. It sounds as though you have been dating a man for a year and you currently dislike him. You would like some advice for how to end your relationship with a sense of finality.

Since you dislike seeing him and speaking with him, perhaps it would be difficult to explain your displeasure in person. There are a number of ways to break up with someone via text messaging or e-mail, but this is generally considered bad form. You may prefer to have a mutual friend inform him of your intentions, but this will cause undue stress on your friend. It really will be best overall to speak with your boyfriend face-to-face and explain that you are no longer interested. It will make it easier on you if you choose the location and time of this conversation. Choose someplace public, wherein you feel comfortable. If you choose instead to ignore him, never responding to his attempts at communication, he will eventually understand that you are through. Good luck with whatever course you take. I'm sure others will provide additional direction.
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Old 01-05-2010, 07:27 AM   #20 (permalink)
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When you find yourself asking that question.
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Old 01-07-2010, 01:10 PM   #21 (permalink)
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For me I'd have to say end it when you realize you are spending less time happy than you think you should, when you really start worrying about things he/she is doing/may do, when you find your life consumed with him/her (against your wishes of course). I think that especially if you arent happy and have told the person this and nothing has changed, it might be a clue that you should start thinking about ending it on a mutual agreement.
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