advice... (go figure) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

NeoSparky · 08-02-2004, 02:18 PM

Ok so here's the short version...

I was dating this girl about a year ago. We dated for like 3 months and she was all ready to fall in love. The problem was I wasn't in love with her and didn't see myself falling in love with her. So I let her know this and ended the relationship on good terms.

since then she has joined the army, got married, and divorced (he was cheating on her and from what she said was abusive to her).

so here's the thing.. She was back in town and was suppose to be for about a month longer than she did, and she wanted me to come visit her. she was busy I was busy we never got together. She just shipped off to Virginia for training and wants me to come visit. She's offered to even pay for the plane ticket.

Should I go? she knows full well I'm not interested in a relationship on the same level as we had before... tho she does want to be "umm friends"

maleficent · 08-02-2004, 02:21 PM

Nothing wrong with "umm friends", as long as that is what you are both aware that it is...

Consider it service to your country.

NeoSparky · 08-02-2004, 03:06 PM

"The things i'm going to do for my country" hehe.

To boldy go where many men have been before..

Sparhawk · 08-02-2004, 03:40 PM

She wouldn't happen to be doing her training at Ft Eustis, would she? I know one of the DIs there, heh....

unoaman · 08-02-2004, 04:54 PM

I'm like maleficent...as long as you are both agreed on the conditions, go for it, hell it's almost your duty. Just make sure the ticket is round trip.

Flyguy · 08-03-2004, 08:44 PM

Major bootie call dude!! Fuck it, I'd go. As long as she knows full well that there will be no relationship out of this, head to Virginia and fuck her brains out!!

Oh, and like unoaman said, make sure it's a round trip so she doesn't try to trap you there or something.

william · 08-04-2004, 08:02 AM

What do you want from the trip? Make your opinions known from the start, and go from there. Maybe she feels more for you than you know, and she wants to know if you feel the same. She left for the military (to get away?) and married another. She didn't start having pups yet.
Bottom line - do you want her, or are you such a loser that you have to travel for it?

lurkette · 08-04-2004, 08:08 AM

Meh...I'm not seeing why you'd want to go. You weren't in love with her before; in the last year, she met someone and got married and divorced; and now she wants to pay to fly you to come visit? Just from what you've said, she doesn't sound like the smartest cookie in the box, and it sounds like she has some emotional expectations (despite her protest that she just wants to be "umm....friends") that you're still not ready for or interested in. If you really WANT to be "umfriends" then hell, go for it, but I think you're walking into the equivalent of an emotional ambush, and I'd go in with my eyes wide open and my spidey senses on high alert if I were you.

Averett · 08-04-2004, 08:13 AM

Yeah this is bad news. This girl obviously still has feelings for you, and you don't for her. This'll end badly.

Carno · 08-04-2004, 09:43 AM

gogogo

Hit that shit man, she's practically begging

screamincheetah · 08-04-2004, 11:43 AM

LURKETTE and AVERETTE are 100% right. I'm speaking from a guy's side of things here. Getting some pre-paid action is great, but I can assure you it won't be worth it in the end. She has maybe even convinced herself that it's just friends, but by no means is it. She's got emotional issues, and she was just shewed up and spit out by another guy. She thinks you're safe and available, and probably thinks she can convince you to be with her. Fast Forward to the ending...she's crying, telling you you're an asshole, that you used her for sex, she hates you, never wants to see or hear from you again, but is happy to tell everyone in town that you wronged her. Okay, I rambled and got dramatic....

...Point: DON'T GO -- NOT WORTH IT!

Averett · 08-04-2004, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by screamincheetah
Fast Forward to the ending...she's crying, telling you you're an asshole, that you used her for sex, she hates you, never wants to see or hear from you again, but is happy to tell everyone in town that you wronged her. Okay, I rambled and got dramatic....

Exactly

Gettin some isn't worth all that mess...

screamincheetah · 08-04-2004, 11:51 AM

I mean "chewed" not "shewed"

One more thought...if you're going to have emotionally draining sex that's going to cause more pain than anything, you're better off with some lube, your best porn, and some tissues. It's free and easy, and the end result is the exact same

08-02-2004, 02:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
NeoSparky Crazy	advice... (go figure) Ok so here's the short version... I was dating this girl about a year ago. We dated for like 3 months and she was all ready to fall in love. The problem was I wasn't in love with her and didn't see myself falling in love with her. So I let her know this and ended the relationship on good terms. since then she has joined the army, got married, and divorced (he was cheating on her and from what she said was abusive to her). so here's the thing.. She was back in town and was suppose to be for about a month longer than she did, and she wanted me to come visit her. she was busy I was busy we never got together. She just shipped off to Virginia for training and wants me to come visit. She's offered to even pay for the plane ticket. Should I go? she knows full well I'm not interested in a relationship on the same level as we had before... tho she does want to be "umm friends"

08-02-2004, 02:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Nothing wrong with "umm friends", as long as that is what you are both aware that it is... Consider it service to your country. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-02-2004, 03:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sparhawk Dubya Location: VA	She wouldn't happen to be doing her training at Ft Eustis, would she? I know one of the DIs there, heh.... __________________ "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

08-04-2004, 08:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Meh...I'm not seeing why you'd want to go. You weren't in love with her before; in the last year, she met someone and got married and divorced; and now she wants to pay to fly you to come visit? Just from what you've said, she doesn't sound like the smartest cookie in the box, and it sounds like she has some emotional expectations (despite her protest that she just wants to be "umm....friends") that you're still not ready for or interested in. If you really WANT to be "umfriends" then hell, go for it, but I think you're walking into the equivalent of an emotional ambush, and I'd go in with my eyes wide open and my spidey senses on high alert if I were you. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

08-04-2004, 08:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Yeah this is bad news. This girl obviously still has feelings for you, and you don't for her. This'll end badly. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-02-2004, 03:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
NeoSparky Crazy	"The things i'm going to do for my country" hehe. To boldy go where many men have been before..

08-02-2004, 04:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	I'm like maleficent...as long as you are both agreed on the conditions, go for it, hell it's almost your duty. Just make sure the ticket is round trip.

08-03-2004, 08:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
Flyguy Banned Location: Swooping down on you from above....	Major bootie call dude!! Fuck it, I'd go. As long as she knows full well that there will be no relationship out of this, head to Virginia and fuck her brains out!! Oh, and like unoaman said, make sure it's a round trip so she doesn't try to trap you there or something.

08-04-2004, 08:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
william Psycho	What do you want from the trip? Make your opinions known from the start, and go from there. Maybe she feels more for you than you know, and she wants to know if you feel the same. She left for the military (to get away?) and married another. She didn't start having pups yet. Bottom line - do you want her, or are you such a loser that you have to travel for it?

08-04-2004, 09:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	gogogo Hit that shit man, she's practically begging __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

08-04-2004, 11:43 AM	#11 (permalink)
screamincheetah Insane Location: Kansas City	LURKETTE and AVERETTE are 100% right. I'm speaking from a guy's side of things here. Getting some pre-paid action is great, but I can assure you it won't be worth it in the end. She has maybe even convinced herself that it's just friends, but by no means is it. She's got emotional issues, and she was just shewed up and spit out by another guy. She thinks you're safe and available, and probably thinks she can convince you to be with her. Fast Forward to the ending...she's crying, telling you you're an asshole, that you used her for sex, she hates you, never wants to see or hear from you again, but is happy to tell everyone in town that you wronged her. Okay, I rambled and got dramatic.... ...Point: DON'T GO -- NOT WORTH IT! __________________ "The sunrise ain't pretty when you ain't been to bed...tomorrow is today instead." Bobby Bare Jr.

08-04-2004, 11:51 AM	#13 (permalink)
screamincheetah Insane Location: Kansas City	I mean "chewed" not "shewed" One more thought...if you're going to have emotionally draining sex that's going to cause more pain than anything, you're better off with some lube, your best porn, and some tissues. It's free and easy, and the end result is the exact same __________________ "The sunrise ain't pretty when you ain't been to bed...tomorrow is today instead." Bobby Bare Jr.