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View Poll Results: What is sexual experience?
How many partners you've been with. 13 15.48%
How good you are in pleasing your partner. 58 69.05%
Something totally different that I'll write a comment about. 13 15.48%
Voters: 84. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 08-23-2004, 09:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
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What is sexual experience?

This is something that has botherd me for a long time, there seems to be many out there who thinks that the more partners you have been with the more experienced sexually you are.
I'm of a different opinion, it doesn't matter how many partners you have had, sexual experience is something that comes from learning how to best please your partner.

What do you think about this?
Is it one or the other, or maybe a mix between the both?
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Last edited by Cervantes; 08-23-2004 at 09:17 AM..
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Old 08-23-2004, 09:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I agree Cervantes

Experience is when you've learned something right?
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Old 08-23-2004, 09:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It might not necessarily matter how many partners you've had....but what skills you gained while with each partner....just because you can please partner A. doesnt 100% mean you can please partner B, since all people like different things. I would have to go with a combination of how many you've had and how good it was for both people involved.
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Old 08-23-2004, 09:39 AM   #4 (permalink)
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It also includes knowing what it takes to please yourself... and being comfortable with your sexuality.
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Old 08-23-2004, 10:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I voted for the "totally different" option because I think it's more than just a black and white answer- it's a combination of the number of partners, your sexual knowledge, and your confidence in your abilities.

you can be "experienced" through vast knowledge of a sexual experience WITHOUT experiencig it. A lot of the more informative sex shows and columns can provide invaluable info for everyone, and can go a long way to improving your abilities to provide pleasure for you and your partner.

obviously the confidence part can be tied into the number of partners, but if a relatively inexperienced person ISN'T a nervous wreck, and can stabilize his or her nerves, a lot of the problems that relatively inexperienced people go through can be minimized or eliminated.

the number of partners IS a key factor because that type of trial and error is still the most in-depth learning experience, but not being a total dumbass about the whole process of bumping uglies- no matter how many partenrs you've had- provides a huge advantage.
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Old 08-23-2004, 11:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Anyone can sleep with a bunch of chicks... its HOW you sleep with them that matters... be it one or one hundred
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Old 08-23-2004, 11:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Knowledge of what feels good for you and your sexual partner.

Having the maturity to communicate with your sexual partner, asking questions, getting feed back on what feels good, and giving back in general.

For instance, knowing how to give the perfect blowjob takes these two things. Learning where it feels the best in general by reading books, and/or asking questions.

Knowing that a blowjob is not a blowjob unless the receiver cums! Otherwise, that’s called foreplay.
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Old 08-23-2004, 11:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianCommie
the number of partners IS a key factor because that type of trial and error is still the most in-depth learning experience, but not being a total dumbass about the whole process of bumping uglies- no matter how many partenrs you've had- provides a huge advantage.
Boost for confidence but not key for skill in my opinion. There are other ways to become a confident lover. Like pinkie said, communication is key to building up confidence and skill in bed.

As I see it you think that no matter what, having had many partners is a good way of learning. To an extent I can agree with you on that, but it only works if you take the time and learn what they all have to teach. As I have noticed there are many who don't.

What I react against is the generalization that several sexpartners is regarded as a guarantee that the person is expereinced (a good lover). I know for a fact that this isn't true yet so many people seem to think this way..
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Old 08-23-2004, 12:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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i thought it was the motion of the ocean and not the size and sets of the waves....
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Old 08-23-2004, 02:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Totally all about experience in pleasing your partner.
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Old 08-23-2004, 02:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Some people only ever have one partner, but they have a LOT of sex for their lives. I'd say those people have a lot of experience.
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Old 08-23-2004, 02:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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are you not an experienced driver if you only learn on one car? If you drive the one car 100 times without "getting in an accident" I'd say you were experienced.
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Old 08-23-2004, 03:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Dam good question, and one that to me anyway can be summed up in a single word, DESIRE. Regardless of whether you've had a great deal of experience, or a little...any worthwhile partner cares less about the experience than the desire to please.
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Old 08-23-2004, 04:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I think it's a combination of things really. Like anything else, it's a skill that develops over time, the longer you've been working at it, the better you get. But it's also not about the basic skills involved, but also how you approach your sexualityand your partner's on an emotional and mental level. Sexual maturity and openess are just as important as knowing what to do with which parts.
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Old 08-23-2004, 04:37 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unoaman
Dam good question, and one that to me anyway can be summed up in a single word, DESIRE. Regardless of whether you've had a great deal of experience, or a little...any worthwhile partner cares less about the experience than the desire to please.
I agree 100%.

I also completely disagree with all of you who say you need to be with many partners to have good “experience” sexually. Having multiple partners has NOTHING to do with it. It's the quality, not the quantity, that counts.
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Old 08-23-2004, 05:36 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sexual experience is just like any other type of experience. The more you do it, the better you become at it and it also makes you a better performer based upon past experiences.
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Old 08-25-2004, 11:21 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Yep, I gotta go with flyguy on this one. Experience is the number of times you've done it. Not necessarily the number of partners, and just because you're experienced doesn't mean you're any good at it.
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Old 08-25-2004, 09:47 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I think it's obvious who has has more "experience"... A person who has had sex 5 times, each with different partners, or someone who has been with the same person for years and never slept with anyone else.
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Old 08-26-2004, 01:56 PM   #19 (permalink)
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IMHO

Sexual experience is how comfortable you are with your own body and being willing to talk about what pleases your partner.
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Old 08-26-2004, 04:03 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by la petite moi
Totally all about experience in pleasing your partner.
I think this sums it up well.

I voted the 'ability to please' option, but to obtain that one must have experience....
Experience may take the form of many partners, or few partners and much communication.
I prefer the 'few partners and much communication' method myself.
That does of course beg the question - What is the definition of 'few' or 'many' partners? But that is the topic of another poll, yes?
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Old 08-26-2004, 04:47 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Experience to me implies that they have had a lot of "practice" and are good at it. It doesnt have to mean lots of partners, just a good amount of sex and skills to go with it
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Old 08-31-2004, 09:49 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Experience seems to imply time spent doing it, so it's a little more than just being good at it (could be an ass and have never learned how to please the other person), but I don't think number of partners really has anything to do with it. I've learned alot off of my current g/f because of how much time we've spent together, more than I learned off of the 3 before her.
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Old 08-31-2004, 10:20 PM   #23 (permalink)
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well I personally consider sexual experience to be how many times you have had sex or done sexual activities. Hopefully you get better with more experience, but unfortunatly that is not always the case, cause there are people out there that fuck tons of people and aren't very good at it, and then there are the lucky ones that happen to be great and totally please their partner the first time they have sex.
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