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Old 10-13-2004, 03:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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trying to get pregnant

My wife and I are trying to make a baby. We've been banging away unprotected for over two years now, and no pitter-patter of little feet yet. We've both been given Grade A stamps by fertility doctors, we've tried standing her on her head for five minutes post-coitus, we've taken her temperature and tried to time the ovulations...

Still nothing.

We are starting to get seriously bummed out. Can anyone think of something we could do that we haven't already tried?
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Old 10-13-2004, 03:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Keep going for another ten to fifteen minutes after you're done, if you can. A friend of mine got his wife pregnant doing that, after about a year of failure before that.
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Old 10-13-2004, 04:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Really?

So I just keep hammering away? I don't think we've ever tried that. I'll give it a shot. It's worth a try, even if I chafe a bit.
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Old 10-13-2004, 04:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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What do the fertility specialists say you should be doing? Have the mentioned IVF yet?
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Old 10-13-2004, 04:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Yeah... Just keep pounding on her for a few extra minutes. It's actually kind of fun... I've done it once or twice in the past. It's especially good if she's close to getting off, anyway.
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Old 10-13-2004, 04:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Sorry if this question is too personal but does she orgasm before you, or after you?

Part of the muscle contractions during the female orgasm cause the cervix to be pushed forwards and down, into where the semen will be pooling after you cum, if she's lying on her back that is.

So one good way to help is to keep on banging after your done until she orgasms(again?) or stimulate her clitoris until she orgasms.
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Old 10-13-2004, 05:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You're having a hard time conceiving because you're both trying too hard.... The stress you're both going through must be having some negative effects on your sperm and her eggs (or something).

You know how you try so hard not to get pregnant and it ends up happening (condom pops, pills fail, etc)?... well, it works in reverse, and when you're anxious to conceive it becomes harder to do.
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Old 10-13-2004, 05:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doncalypso
You're having a hard time conceiving because you're both trying too hard.... The stress you're both going through must be having some negative effects on your sperm and her eggs (or something).

You know how you try so hard not to get pregnant and it ends up happening (condom pops, pills fail, etc)?... well, it works in reverse, and when you're anxious to conceive it becomes harder to do.
I don't know if this is true, but it could very well be the case. I'm not a doctor... I just know what seems to have "worked" for other people.
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Old 10-13-2004, 06:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You don't need to just bang away, you need to be banging away at the exact right time. Go pick up an ovulation calendar kit. Figure out when you should be doing it, and do it a lot around that time. First month my wife and I tried, she got pregnant. We had sex once a day 10 days around when she was ovulating. We also timed orgasm. Because as far as orgasms go they are for the same thing for each sex. Male obviously to release sperm. Female to bring it in. You don't need an orgasm with the girl, but it can only help.
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Old 10-13-2004, 06:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
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One thing I forgot to mention is that despite the high numbers of unwanted pregnancies that happen worldwide it's still a miracle every time a woman gets pregnant because a sperm cell has to overcome the woman's immune system to reach the egg. And once the egg is fertilized, the resulting embryo (and subsequently fetus) has to resist the mother's immune system because half of its DNA is foreign and it should normally be attacked by the immune cells.

Frankly, when you look at it from a cellular and immunological perspective, it's a wonder a woman ever gets pregnant at all.
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Old 10-14-2004, 01:30 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Doggie style is supposed to be good for this. Apparently this position aligns all the woman's plumbing into a nice smooth descent to the egg.
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Old 10-14-2004, 02:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doncalypso
You're having a hard time conceiving because you're both trying too hard.... The stress you're both going through must be having some negative effects on your sperm and her eggs (or something).

You know how you try so hard not to get pregnant and it ends up happening (condom pops, pills fail, etc)?... well, it works in reverse, and when you're anxious to conceive it becomes harder to do.
I second this - go somewhere for a vacationat about the right time of the month, but kinda forget the schedule a bit.
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Old 10-14-2004, 06:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Two things: first, the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health. This should be handed out to every woman once they become fertile, and every man should probably read it as well.

Second: stress. I know of several women who were finally able to conceive after taking yoga classes.

Good luck, and I'll see you in TFP Parenting next year!
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:15 AM   #14 (permalink)
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My wife and I took 7 months to concieve our first child 2 months for the second child. Read the TCOYF book as mentioned above. There is about a 7 to 10 day window where the woman is really lubricated naturally - this is the best time - not a lot of foreplay involved just bang away until done. Mind you it does get old after the 10th straight day of banging just to bang. IMO of course
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:41 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I have already ordered the book. I knew I could count on the sexperts of the Tilted Forum. Thanks one and all.

tehpronking, I took your advice last night. Now, my dick is sore. But my wife is happy.
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:44 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Pretend your still teenagers and do it your parents car. Wear two condoms and make sure to ask her if she's "sure she's safe". guaranteed to slip one past the goalie.
This was the advice our doctor gave us when we started trying.
In all seriousness though just keep at it, but still take the time to just make love now and then. Don't make it a chore.
Best of luck
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Old 10-14-2004, 11:14 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I don't want to suggest that any of the methods that anyone has offered will not work, but generally other than the suggestion of relaxing, I don't think they will add to your success. I am in the same boat you are, and the "breeders" sometimes don't realize what the "soon to be breeders" go through and the suggestions of just get drunk one night, just relax it will happen soon, watch foot porn (don't ask), etc. don't help sooth the nerves of an already anxious couple.

Assuming you have already met with her OB an discussed potential fertility options (medications, testing) than if you are temping and testing the fertility levels, there isn't much more you can do beyond going to a specialist. I would suggest that if you aren't using it yet, try the Ovusoft software to track the temps. They also have a message board connected with them that is pretty good - just try to ignore the home remedies.
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Old 10-14-2004, 11:54 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I find it ironic and a bit funny that guys who don't want kids seem to have super sperm (or just bad luck) and the ones who want them are usually shit out of luck. Well, I guess that's not exactly funny... but it IS ironic.
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Old 10-14-2004, 12:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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We always got pregnent right away. No tips from me, sorry.
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Old 10-14-2004, 12:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by absorbentishe
We always got pregnent right away. No tips from me, sorry.
I would have to agree with you here on this...I cant really give you any tips because I haven't had any issues with this yet. I would take the advice of reading that book and trying the days that she is naturally lubricated and go at it like rabbits.
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Old 10-14-2004, 01:09 PM   #21 (permalink)
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My bit of advice....don't try so hard and relax, relax, relax! I always seemed to get pregnant while on vacation.
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Old 10-14-2004, 01:10 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Jal,
My wife and I are trying as well. She's been on birth control for years before she just got off it a few months ago. She was on depo, the pill and she had norplant once upon a time. From what I've read, that stuff can stay in her system for quite some time before it's all flushed out. It's been about 6 months and no baby yet. We're not doing any charting, ovulation kits, nothing. We just fuck when we feel like it and eventually, the baby will come. I don't want to do any of that crap due to the fact that it will add more stress like the others were talking about and it'll only make conveiving more difficult. How old are you both? My wife and I are both 28. Good luck to us both.
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:16 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Both of my kids were conceived with standing sex. Yep, thats right, we were standing. Was it a coincidence? Maybe, but anything's worth a try. And don't forget to relax. Forget about trying to get preggers and just go at it like teenagers.
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:19 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I guess not trying seems to be the key. My little brother was conceived after my parents decided they didn't want any more children (mom was on birth control and antibiotics simultaneously... oops...) Quite a surprise, hehe. Mom was about to get her tubes tied when she went in for the pre-op exam and the doc said, "you're not done yet!" But you'd better believe that she had her tubes knotted off the day after she gave birth to little bro Stress can play a huge factor, so just relax. Good luck knockin' up your wife!
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Old 10-14-2004, 08:48 PM   #25 (permalink)
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my wife and i have noticed that you only get pregnant when you dont want to, but fucking hell when you want them
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Old 10-14-2004, 10:08 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Not trying is the key. Wanting a baby and then not really trying is the best thing I think. Although I have heard not wanting a baby at all works well too.
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Old 10-15-2004, 04:46 AM   #27 (permalink)
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i dunno about this, but someone was telling me he was told to masturbate some time before having sex, like earlier in the day. Suposedly it improves sperm quality.... just a thought, and good luck
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Old 10-15-2004, 07:28 AM   #28 (permalink)
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My wife and I have been there... Our problem using a calendar was that my wife's cycle is long and abnormal (40-45 days) If you want to save yourself some time and energy... go to this site and order ovulation test strips... your wife pees in a cup and it tells her if she is ovulating today or within the next 24 hours. It worked for us the first time.

http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/combopack.html
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Old 10-15-2004, 08:39 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Make sure that she has an orgasm, that is very important.
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Old 07-31-2011, 08:15 PM   #30 (permalink)
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She's pregnant. Took a while.
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