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Old 12-09-2004, 12:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Broken Arrow, OK
meeting someone on the internet

ok I am sure this has been asked before, probably a few times, but I did not see it, so... Is trying to meet someone on the internet a bad idea? I mean I have heard of a few people who seem happy that met on the internet. Its just that after getting out of a marriage, I don't know many people and my work schedule is so bad its hard to meet many people at bars or whatever when you only have tues and wends off. So I have tried the Match.com eharmony, yahoo personals, and bookofmatches. I have found them to be rather expensive so I have not actually subscribed to any of them. But I keep getting emails from old ladies, which there is nothing bad with that I guess, I am only 25, and these women are like in their 40s. If they are not old they are big (sorry, but I just can't go for the big girls) and if they are not either of those then they have kids. (so do I, thats why I don't want more) So, is there even any attractive, normal, my age, no kids, and looking single females on the internet or am I just wasting my time. (those of you that followed my previous thread about geting divorced, well I am not looking for a relationship just yet, I know better then that, just wanting to meet some people, ya know?)

So yeah I am not sure exactly what I am asking here, just I guess has anyone actually succeded in finding someone off the internet.

I would also like to hear some horror stories from when you have met someone who was not who they said they were.

thanks everybody!
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Old 12-09-2004, 12:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Pick from your activities that you like, find a website that has a forum or activity site in your area that covers that and meet people that way.

You'll have a lot more in common thatn "Hi I liked your picture."

Plus, you'll either learn something from the group regarding your activity, or you'll teach someone something.

You might not find true love, but you'll sure as hell meet a lot of cool new people and as a by product, you'll have a much larger circle of friends wherein the chances are higher of meeting someone you'll like.

Food, movies, cars, sports, books.
Mine was snowboarding.

How about this, find a place online in your area that teaches gourmet cooking.
You get to meet cool people, learn new skills and get kick ass food for next to nothing.
If you meet someone nice there, you get to 'practice' on each other for homework.
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Old 12-09-2004, 12:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Edmonton, Canada
I have never actually went "looking for love" online, but I have MANY really good friends that I met online & have since gotten together with IRL.

I do have a couple friends who did internet dating - one of them is married (for years) - the other fell apart in a month - in other words - real life or online, some relationships go to hell.

Personally, I dont see online love looking as dangerous - just be careful that the person you fall for is actually the person they represent.

Sammy
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Old 12-09-2004, 12:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Ok -- so even though you called me an OLD LADY - -(grumbles about damned young whippersnappers), I'll help you anyhow...

When I was using on-line dating services, some are better than others, some completely suck... but what you want to make sure that you are pretty specific in what you are looking for.

Don't want kids? Say so... Don't want someone over the age of 30? Say so. It may come across as a little shallow... but you are trying to meet people you want to spend time with -- you shouldn't have to settle. So many ads from men are written so that it could be caveman esque. Want - female - -aged 18-99 - must have boobies. Other than that I don't care...

I've suggested this time and again to lots of people, but get out and volunteer, spend time away from work, doing something that you enjoy, and you will meet people in the process (where I volunteered last weekend, there were three very cute, under 25 young ladies with me- would have been the perfect opportunity for a young fella) Take a class of something that interests you.
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Old 12-09-2004, 01:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Phyzix, knowing that you JUST NOW are getting over a marriage gone bad and living with your parents WITH your kids to take care of, looking for love is probably not the thing you want to do now.

BUT, if you still decide to, don't rush into it and look for someone that has the same interests as you.
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Old 12-09-2004, 02:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: New Mexico
Necessity is the mother of invention. Well, not exactly what I want to say, but close. After my divorce, and lost job, I found work in Northern New Mexico. The problem is there aren't very many fine ladies near here, particulary when you also want to marry without your faith, as I did. So I used the singles meeting sites that are oriented to people of my faith, and sure enough, eventually found one that led to my current marriage. But I did have to travel long distances to meet several people that didn't work out in person, before my wife and I felt that special attraction.
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Old 12-09-2004, 03:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
(where I volunteered last weekend, there were three very cute, under 25 young ladies with me- would have been the perfect opportunity for a young fella)
Do I smell pheremones, mal?

I personally think that dating services are kind of stupid, but when I get older and if I'm still single and I want some sweet, sweet lovin', I might change my tune. Or I might become that creepy 30 year old who goes to highschool parties. Whichever the case, mal gave what I think is some fantastic advice, and I second it, third it, and fourth it.
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Old 12-09-2004, 03:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
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just besure any of the ladies your trying to meet arn't really 300lbs men named bubba


i would only really meet someone if we both able to share pictures and or webcam... to besure there real people first....

just wait till you get things going online before you make it real life
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Old 12-09-2004, 05:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Broken Arrow, OK
Yeah I have been talking to one girl, and I have seen a decent amount of candid pics, also we have talked on MSN IM which is cool. the problem is I thought she was close to me, but ended up being that she was kick out of her college, (its was a christian school) for smoking and drinking, and her visa was revoked and now she is back at home in japan. So I am trying to help her get enrolled at a school here in town, but again I am not looking to hop right back into a relationship, I just want to find someone that I can spend time with and do things with, I know I am not ready for a serious relationship just yet.

The volunteer idea is good, but with watching my kids all the time, thats more my volunteering. It does not leave me much time to do much anything else when I am working as many hours as I do. I think its another reason I like the online thing, is because of my schedule I can answer emails when ever I like, I don't have to worry about scheduling conflicts. Like the other day I got a # from a waitress and when I called our schedules were so bad that neither of us had a night off so we could get together.
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It's hard to remember to live before you die
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Old 12-09-2004, 07:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
...is a comical chap
 
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My stepsister and her husband met online and have been married for at least seven years (thats how long I've known them). They are very happy together and fit together very, very well. I have another good friend who met his wife online through some sort of singles chatroom. As time goes by, I think more and more people will find a significant other via the internet...it only makes sense. People spend more time at work (and thus more time online) and have busier, more hectic lives than we used to; the internet is the logical place to meet someone. I don't see the harm in it; I think I may be one of the minority though

Good luck whatever you DO try, though!!
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Old 12-09-2004, 07:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
I've met lots of people from the internet, and dated people I've met via a matching service and from on the internet as well. General rules:
  • Meet in a public place, with lots of other people around.
  • If she makes you nervous, don't see her again.
Anything else is up to you.
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Old 12-09-2004, 09:57 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I have met one person from the internet. We're getting married in a month. It can be a good way to meet people.
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Old 11-06-2005, 10:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
So many ads from men are written so that it could be caveman esque. Want - female - -aged 18-99 - must have boobies...
Mal, I almost cracked a rib laughing out loud. Oh, the humanity!

My oldest brother met his wife of, six (ish) years on Match.com. I can't speak as to how well it works today. I'm seriously considering subscribing to eHarmony....

Good luck!
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Old 11-06-2005, 11:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Well i've met plenty of guys and girls from the internet.i'm still friends with some and others were just expecting me to indulge in sexual activities. clearly i was not game. i would say go for itm but always be safe.
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Old 11-07-2005, 12:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Newbury Park, California
I did end up meeting a girl from another message board I visit. She posted wondering if anybody was near her and I was. She was about 20 mins away from me and we ended up just going out and dating. Well after 4 weeks into our relationships, she just started to get very overprotective. I mean I would talk to a female friend and she would jump on me and start bitching about it. It got to the point were she even tried to get me to get her pregnant, thinking it would help out our relationship. I wasn't about to let that happen since I was still in high school at the time. I just ended it right there and then.

That is when the aim conversations started. She would IM me every time she saw me sign on,threating to suicide. At first I was worried that she would. She would say a lot of messed up things, I even ended up going back with her but that didnít last for long. I broke it up again and she started to threaten again. This time tried to do the whole suicide thing again but I didn't fall for it. I told her to stop or I would get a new user name and not tell her. She stopped but she would still keep bothering me.

Not sure if I'd date a girl from the web again. I know I wouldn't take it as fast as I did with my last gf. I would just go with the flow and make sure if then ext one wonít be as insane as the first internet girl I dated.
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Old 11-07-2005, 12:33 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: where polar bears walk the streets
Man this thread sure was unearthed from the depths. Couldnt resist commenting anyhow...
Meeting someone online has its thrills and spills just like meeting in the flesh. There are no guarantees, and you can just as easily meet a weirdo as your dreamguy/girl. Always irks me when i hear someone say "I met this girl who was a real clingy freak who wouldnt take no for an answer -- internet dating is terrible." As if that sorts dont exist outside the Internet.
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Old 11-07-2005, 01:56 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I can think of 4 couples off the top of my head that met right here on the TFP and are together (and 3 of them married now). More seem to get added to that list on a somewhat regular basis. The internet itself is def. an ok place for it, you just have to be careful, like with anything else.
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Old 11-07-2005, 03:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
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There is a free site okcupid.com that has some pretty cool aspects to it. There are questions you fill out and questionares that are fun to do. The answers you give create a match and a friend percentage (2 different numbers), and you can search according to different parameters that you adjust yourself. Members can post pictures, a profile, and have free chat with other members. I met a wonderful lady a couple of months ago (highly intelligent, very stable, young, beautiful, sweet, very hot, and with a good job) and couldn't be happier about things.
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Old 11-08-2005, 12:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: My own little world (also Canada)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suave
Do I smell pheremones, mal?

I personally think that dating services are kind of stupid, but when I get older and if I'm still single and I want some sweet, sweet lovin', I might change my tune. Or I might become that creepy 30 year old who goes to highschool parties. Whichever the case, mal gave what I think is some fantastic advice, and I second it, third it, and fourth it.
Wow old thread. Interestingly (to me anyway), my tune has changed a bit. Though I won't resort to a dating service soon, I'm currently a member of match.com due to one of those stupid iPod contests. I must say, I think dating services might not be bad depending on what you're looking for.
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Old 11-10-2005, 09:40 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Anaheim, CA
I met my husband online, but it was really met through a friend and then connection was made online so I had at least one person that spoke well about him. A male friend of mine met many women online and eventually married one. They were all freaky liars except one and he let her get away. I do NOT think this is typical but it depends on what you are looking for when you start talking to people. If you are looking for friends with potential, great. If you are looking for love you will attract kooks and have to be really careful.
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Old 11-10-2005, 09:50 AM   #21 (permalink)
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One of my closest friends met her boyfriend online, not knowing him from anywhere else, and then it turned out they were at opposite ends of the country. It worked out as she moved where he was to go to uni and then they got together. They have been together for 5 years and now have a little girl of 2 months and are very happy. So yes, it can work.
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:36 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: Just West of Hell
Quote:
Originally Posted by phyzix525
(those of you that followed my previous thread about geting divorced, well I am not looking for a relationship just yet, I know better then that, just wanting to meet some people, ya know?)
I'm in the same boat - just getting divorced and not looking for romance. I found that getting closer to the friends you have will open the doors to meeting more people with like interests. Also, chances are that these new friends will be close to your age and lifestyle.

It's worked for me (Thanks, Mherlee!!) and I hope it can work for you as well.
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Old 11-11-2005, 01:36 AM   #23 (permalink)
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One of my best friends met her SO in an online MUSH. They've been together for 5 years now. Always possible to meet someone in the great netherworlds of the net. Sounds like some good advice here on the search.
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