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Old 02-13-2005, 02:46 PM   #41 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forkies
wow, this thread is just proliferating the "gay male" stereotype...

imagine how much courage it took for each of these people to ask. and, in the case of the original poster, to have the response be "But in the back of my mind I swear it was screaming "GOOOOO AWAAAAAAAY!!!!!" haha." have some respect for others.
I'm sorry I offended you. I didn't mean to offend anybody. I made that clear when I started this post. Didn't know gay guys hitting on straight guys on occaision was a stereotype either. Look I can't help what I thought in the back of my mind. At least I didn't say it to the poor kid. I have no control over my subconcious and it in no way reflects the kind of person I am. I'm a good guy and I'm nice...I would have been saying the same thing in the back of my mind if it was a girl I wasn't interested in. I have no good excuse to justify it but I was just being honest. It's not like I was trying to hurt anyones feelings though. It was the first time it's happened and I've since learned to not worry about it and take it as a compliment.

Please do not turn this post into a gay bashing post either. You and I both know thats not what the post was about it's just a discussion. I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone to refrain from offensive comments in your replies either.

Sorry if I was disrespectful. If you like I will gladly remove that little piece from my post if it makes you feel better. Just say the word.

Asta!!
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Old 02-13-2005, 03:16 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guthmund

"Well, we haven't seen him dating any girls, so, we must assume that he is gay." They haven't seen me date any guys either, but that doesn't seem to figure into the equation.

Oh well, what can you do?
my parents were both worried that i was gay for the longest time because i was pretty shy in high school and didn't do the typical boyfriend/girlfriend routine.

I get hit on / compliments from gays a lot now that i'm living in nyc. and i'm going into entertainment. I pretty much just take it as a compliment. Kinda wish girls were that sparing with their compliments.

probably the most interesting story is when i went with a bunch of girls to a bar called something like, "dont tell mama".

It wasn't a gay bar persay, but it was a broadway show-tunes bar where the patrons would get up and sing, and everybody would sing along. So while it isn't officially a gay bar, its pretty close to it.

When i first walked in i was like, "oh ...what the fuck did i get myself into"

Anyways, after getting over the feeling like i was at the auction ready to be sold b/c so many guys staring at me, i just thought, "hey, have a good time, not many nights u get to go out with 5 girls on your own"

Had some drinks and had a good time. When i left i was kinda dissappointed nobody bought me a drink, although thats a good thing. It was just kind of a culture shock, as it happened within the first month of me living in the city. I would do it again, but I'd make sure to bring a date to avoid confusion.
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Old 02-13-2005, 03:35 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Embrace it Cris . . . you're a cutie. Attractiveness transends the boundaries of gender . . .

You should be pleased

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Old 02-13-2005, 03:36 PM   #44 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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^ Thanks Ash haha. I needed that.

Asta!!
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Old 02-13-2005, 04:16 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forkies
wow, this thread is just proliferating the "gay male" stereotype...
I disagree, and I just want to tell all you guys how impressed with your maturity I am. "Just say no and shrug it off" and "take it as a compliment" are not the responses I'd expect to hear from men on this topic. You too, forkies, as your comment shows a lot of understanding of how difficult it is to put yourself out there. Good job, guys! That's why I'm here on TFP.
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Old 02-13-2005, 08:37 PM   #46 (permalink)
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I never get hit on by anyone....male, female, or canine. It really gets kind of depressing.
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Old 02-13-2005, 08:39 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squishor
I disagree
all one needs to do is scan these posts for "i dress nicely and am slender, BUT I'M NOT GAY" jesus, do people honestly think homosexuality demands such characteristics? stereotypes upset me, but the people who uphold them upset me more.
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Old 02-13-2005, 08:55 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forkies
all one needs to do is scan these posts for "i dress nicely and am slender, BUT I'M NOT GAY" jesus, do people honestly think homosexuality demands such characteristics? stereotypes upset me, but the people who uphold them upset me more.

isn't that emotional reaction from you kinda the same as their emotional reaction to the situation? Everyone is people, better to let them believe and do as they wish. I find it better to only be upset if I myself disapoint me, not if others don't stand up to the pedastel I form in my head.
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Old 02-13-2005, 08:57 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Due to my size, very few girls are willing to overcome the intimidation and come right up to me. I'd say that I'm at least a foot taller than 90% of girls I meet, and for pretty much any girl with an average body type (not really big or really small,) I would be able to put my right arm around them and be able to touch my left shoulder with room for her to breathe. As for guys, the height/size gap is narrowed a lot, so the intimidation factor isn't as prevalent.

Result: I get hit on by more guys than girls. Neither number is particularly high, but they're close to even with the number of guys a bit higher. If I were a bit shorter and thinner, the number of guys would probably go up because there wouldn't be the fear of being beaten senseless by a 6'8" homophobe (I have no problem with anyone, but homophobia is so widespread that most guys can be expected to at least call someone "fag" or worse.)
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Old 02-13-2005, 09:25 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Never that I can think of. Then again I typically can't pick up on being hit on by anybody unless it's very very blatant. I'm not the most subtle person in the world.
Although now reading through some of these tales I MIGHT have been hit on a couple of times as a few gay co-workers have asked for my number and have done the old shoulder rub but I always just thought it was general friendliness. Because girls would do the same thing to me and they weren't at all interested in me in that manner.
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Old 02-13-2005, 09:44 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Gay guys are usually really handsome and delish. Id be flattered.

I never get hit on and my guy friend, whos straight, always gets hit on by guys. Someone up there is playing an evil, evil game on me.
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Old 02-13-2005, 10:00 PM   #52 (permalink)
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More times than I care to admit. I'm not sure what about me it is that attracts these particular males, but I wish I knew how to turn it off. I mean, I have nothing against homosexuals, and it is flattering, but it's not something I'm interested in.
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Old 02-13-2005, 10:03 PM   #53 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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^ I'm pretty sure I saw yer pic over in the portraits section and you were cute if I remember correctly. Don't worry they'll come around...lots a guys get intimidated

Asta!!
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Old 02-13-2005, 11:06 PM   #54 (permalink)
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It's happened a good couple of times. My previous girlfriend told me it was because i was handsome, but i'm not the type to believe i'm handsome. even though she told me constantly... and my current one does too, except she more often says i'm really cute. Again, maybe they're blind or something , but I just don't see it.

I see it as a total compliment, no matter who it comes from. I think, "wow, this person (regardless of sex) thought enough of me to risk rejection, in whatever form, just to find out more about me. That's awesome, and I wish more people were that bold."

Pretty much the normal response i give is something along the lines of, "i'm sorry, dude, i'm not- but thanks for thinking of me." One guy was kinda beating around the bush and flirting real shy-like, I could tell he was trying to find out or maybe ask me if i was interested. We were in a store that sells music, movies, videogames, all that, and we were browsing the DVD section. He finally asked me what I was doing later, and i smiled and said, "i'm flattered that you asked, but i've got a girlfriend (which I did, not a lie)"

He started backtracking and apologizing and I told him to not worry about it, he shouldn't be embarassed. I told him he seemed like a good guy, and that some lucky guy will be very happy with him. We chatted about movies for a bit more, and then he left. Right before he left, he told me that most straight guys he asks aren't very nice about it. I think that's horrible. I told him to forget about them, just like straight guys ignore prissy "i'm going to reject you with a 12-gauge because i'm SOOOO much better than you" bitches. He thought that was hilarious.

And speaking of which... i hear constantly about how guys are fed up with snobby girls being total bitches about letting someone down gently due to disinterest, and how girls are so mean about it and just verbally kick you in the balls sometimes... but then apparently there are many men who would turn around and do the same shit to a guy who's interested in him. Weird, hmm?
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Old 02-13-2005, 11:19 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Honestly, I get hit on by guys almost as much as I get hit on by girls. I think it's because I dress more "european" (aka I wear tighter clothes than most, and always wear designer brands), and I'm not always (only most of the time) oozing testosterone out of my ears while screaming about football. It used to bug me out a little, but I really stopped caring. Normally just a simple, "Thanks, but I'm not into that" and we can continue our conversation. The only thing I don't take well is if I'm in a club and a guy starts dancing with me. That can definitely incur a negative response (not hostile, just strongly negative).
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Old 02-13-2005, 11:28 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by forkies
all one needs to do is scan these posts for "i dress nicely and am slender, BUT I'M NOT GAY" jesus, do people honestly think homosexuality demands such characteristics? stereotypes upset me, but the people who uphold them upset me more.
Sorry forkies, but I still disgree. I looked over the posts here and, although they're not all the epitome of sensitivity, I think they're not so bad at all (and I'm pretty aware of stereotyping and related issues). It seems that you're upset and I'm sure you have a very good reason, but I'm really not seeing a homophobe-fest here. Try scanning over the posts as you suggested with an eye for what I pointed out, and maybe you'll get a refreshing change in perspective.
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Old 02-13-2005, 11:31 PM   #57 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Haha that would kinda get some funny looks from me too. "Are you trying to dance with me?" "Oh okay just checking no thanks" And the comment I made was to Mew...although nothing against Bacon masta..I'm sure yer a cool dude too haha.

Asta!!
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Old 02-14-2005, 01:18 AM   #58 (permalink)
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This is going to be a short post but, sorry, can't say that I have.
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Old 02-14-2005, 01:18 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Location: Seattle, WA
i have a personality that seems to sway in neither direction. this confuses people. yesterday, i was out to the club and my friend's gf offers to hook me up with one of her friends. i think... "hey, this could be good." b/c she is attractive. then she tells me that "HE is gorgeous." i just blush and tell her i'll ask her to hook me up when i'm interested.
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Old 02-14-2005, 01:33 AM   #60 (permalink)
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This is definitely a hazard of living in West Hollywood. It's only happened once or twice though because I don't exactly go down to the gay bars on Saturdays and hang out. But I don't mind because, hey, at least SOMEONE is hitting on me. Women sure aren't.
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Old 02-14-2005, 01:35 AM   #61 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ haha word!

Asta!!
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Old 02-14-2005, 03:46 AM   #62 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Wise
^ Wow! Thats some story man. I feel for you. Have ya had any luck since then?
Yes, indeed. I have my own little barony in the PNW. I've been married to the Baroness Opal for four years now and we have a little Baronet scampering about. The Florida trip was... 11 years ago? Something like that. And, one of those platonic Florida ladies hooked me up with the then future Baroness. So, it all worked out alright.
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Old 02-14-2005, 06:55 AM   #63 (permalink)
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I was told by a guy that he had feelings for me. He was a good friend so I sat down with him and explained that I was not gay. He turned every shade of red and had that "Get me outta here" look in his face. I told him that it was perfectly OK, and that our friendship was still important to me so not to never call again. We remained friends for a year or so after that until I moved out of the area.

I don't know why, but it didn't weird me out and I made sure to let him know. I even contemplated it for a little while. He was a nice person who was in a very fragile state at the time, so I couldn't just say no without explaining it. People tell me that I have a way with other people, and that I am very easy to talk to. Maybe that is why I majored in Psych in college. Too bad I never finished.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:24 AM   #64 (permalink)
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29 years ago a college professor of mine took me out for drinks on my 19th birthday. He then tried to get me to go home with him. I politely declined.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:25 AM   #65 (permalink)
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almost off topic, but...
I used to get hit on by the boyfriend of a gay friend of mine. He knew i was straight and he knew that i was friends with his SO. After one particularly obvious move was made at a table with both my wife and his SO present, my wife asked him if he knew I was straight. He said of coarse he did, that's what made it fun. After tossing this around the table, his theory was that it was better to hit on me as he knew nothing would come of it, and if he got caught he wouldn't get in trouble. If he were to flirt with someone he weren't sure of, his partner would consider it cheating.
They broke up not long after that. My friend realized that although faithful, he was a nut case.
At least he found me attractive, and at the end of the day If your not interested does the sex of the other person really matter ?
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:33 AM   #66 (permalink)
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I've been hit on a number of times when I was in 20's. At that time I was pretty shy, and looked younger than my years. I've only been hit on a few times as I aged, but I can't say I was offended. Guess usually it was a compliment in my eyes. I have always tried to be kind when declining the invitation. Now I am too old to be of any interest to anyone
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:50 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Several times, have been told It's my cute ass that does it, I was in gay clubs most times so It wasn't completely unexpected, one guy was a bit much though wouldn't take no for answer kept wanting to buy me drinks and was happy with his hands.
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:43 AM   #68 (permalink)
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Location: Dallas, Texas
In my twenties I got hit on by gay men fairly often. Didn't really bother me. It's always nice to be considered attractive. One older gay man wouldn't leave me alone after I politely turned him down and assuring him I was heterosexual. That was a little annoying but over all that sort of thing doesn't bother me. After all, how is a person to know if another person is gay if they don't ask. Its not like there is a gay uniform of some sort. For that matter even if there were how would you know if another man was interested if you didn't ask? Doesn't really happen anymore, I'm older and don't go to clubs and the like.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:18 AM   #69 (permalink)
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K-wise, I think you are cute.

I never get hit on by men or women, but I think it has more to do with me being a homebody and married for the past 7 years. Not my devastating good looks or witty charm.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:26 AM   #70 (permalink)
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I have a few gay friends, and when they moved out of town to go to university I would occasionally visit them. When they went out, they went to a few gay clubs in the area and I went with them.

It was a lot of fun, actually. Almost every one of the people my gay friend hung out with had something to say about me, and a few times I did get hit on. It was nothing more than a pure ego boost. I've even had a few people cop a feel. I have been curious to know what it might be like to date/have sex with a person of the same sex but I'll probably never know.

Both family and friends comment that I dress "metrosexual". Well, if that is what they call dressing with a little style, then so be it. I do like to look good when I go out. *shrugs*

I also have to comment that gay clubs are much more fun than straight clubs. I like dance/electronic music (but mostly into old classic rock), so I enjoy not having to listen to rap and hip hop all the time. Also for some reason, there is less hostility at gay clubs. Yes, plenty of drama... but no fist fights and it was an odd occurence to ever see a police cruiser around.

I highly suggest that all straight guys visit a gay club once in awhile. If you don't enjoy it, at least it will open your eyes to how others like to spend their time.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:27 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
I have been hit on by guys a couple times, it really doesn't bother me, I usually just tell them I'm straight and that's the end of it. This one guy hit on me in a bar and I told him I was straight but he kept buying me drinks everytime he seen me. One of my best friends is gay and he was laughing his ass off because he wasn't having anyone hit on him all night and I was.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:35 AM   #72 (permalink)
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I don't recall ever being hit on by a gay man, but I don't think it would really bother me if it did. I would just shrug it off.
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Old 02-14-2005, 03:40 PM   #73 (permalink)
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I guess indirectly that I was hit on.

I was at my wife's sister's birthday party one year. I can say with 100% certainty, that my wife and I were the only srtaight people there. I had just got out of the military, so I was in pretty good shape. I was in the house playing video games with a few of the guys that were there. We all talked some trash and had a good time and I thought they were o.k. guys, just a little different than me.

So ,the next day my wife's sister calls to thank us for coming over, as she didn't invite any other family members to this little party. She tells me that one of the guy's that I was gaming with had asked if I was available. She started laughing and told him that she didn't think so, and that was that.

I'm not 100% sure what I would have said if he had asked me, but I'm positive I would't have flipped out about it.
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Old 02-14-2005, 03:59 PM   #74 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Opal
Yes, indeed. I have my own little barony in the PNW. I've been married to the Baroness Opal for four years now and we have a little Baronet scampering about. The Florida trip was... 11 years ago? Something like that. And, one of those platonic Florida ladies hooked me up with the then future Baroness. So, it all worked out alright.
Man thats great! Rock on!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf
People tell me that I have a way with other people, and that I am very easy to talk to.
Me too man. I have the same..well...I consider it a gift..hope you do too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by portereight
At least he found me attractive, and at the end of the day If your not interested does the sex of the other person really matter ?
Totally thats actually a really good point. Yer not the first to say it either I just think you worded it well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pocon1
K-wise, I think you are cute.
Hey thanx!

Quote:
Originally Posted by trache
Both family and friends comment that I dress "metrosexual". Well, if that is what they call dressing with a little style, then so be it. I do like to look good when I go out. *shrugs*
Man I know the feeling! Same stereotype forkies was talking about I guess. See in my case it's because I like to put on a MATCHING shirt and pant (sometimes the shirts a nice one) and actually comb/style my hair. Thats it. It gets on my nerves haha. It's like it's not cool to look "nice" anymore.

Asta!!
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Old 02-14-2005, 05:14 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Been hit on by gay men on occasion. Especially since I used to work in a company that, come to find out, I was the ONLY straight guy there. It was cool, none of them ever hit on me, but sometimes if we were out someplace together others would assume.. The amusing part was watching one of them, who looks a LOT like Dennis Leary, tell them, "sweety, your Gaydar is SOOOO of today". None of it ever offended me. It's no different than a woman hitting on me that I am not interested in, and I certainly don't find it necessary to be unkind to anyone who's exposed enough of themselves to speak up about a possible attraction. I've found a simple " oh, thanks, but I'm not gay" with a smile, always does the trick with no harm, no foul.
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Old 02-14-2005, 05:32 PM   #76 (permalink)
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I used to go to drag shows a lot with a group of female friends during my first few years in college. I was the only straight guy they could get to go with them, and it worked out very well for me because: 1. I like to dance, and 2. I had between five and 10 ladies to dance with all night. I'd get hit on by guys fairly often, and it really didn't bother me. If anything, I always saw it as a compliment and was flattered. (Aside from the fact that I would be a complete fucking moron to go to a drag show thinking there was no way I would get hit on by anyone.)

I don't go to the drag shows anymore, but I still get hit on from time to time. I guess it doesn't bother me because in my opinion there is no reason it should. I'm straight, and I know that. If someone else thinks otherwise, that's fine with me. If someone finds me attractive/interesting enough to come and say something about it that's pretty damn cool in my book, regardless of what they've got between their legs. It doesn't matter if I get hit on by a guy or a girl, because the answer is going to be the same: "I'm very flattered, but I have a girlfriend." And there's no one in this world, male or female, that I'd give her up for.
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Old 02-14-2005, 05:44 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Ahaha I have a friend who used to love to go to drag shows. He said they were fun and hilarious and some of the guys are pretty convincing. He said I should go with him some time haha. He's as straight as they come too.

Asta!!
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Old 02-14-2005, 07:34 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Only once, and despite the fact that it defintely threw me for a loop for a second, I was flattered and said so also saying that I was straight. I'm secure in my sexuality (straight as an arrow) so it doesn't really offend me or anything, just not into guys. If some other guy came on a little stronger I'd probably be a little less friendly though.
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Old 02-15-2005, 08:48 AM   #79 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
I'm straight but I like to tease.
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Old 02-15-2005, 08:59 AM   #80 (permalink)
 
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Location: Colorado
I actually had to file a complaint against a customer for groping me. I used to service ATMs and one particular teller would pat me on the ass or fondle me while I was leaning into them. I told him to buzz off, but he just laughed it off. I talked to the bank VP that contracted with us and told him his ATM would stay broke if whathisname was there when I came to fix it. I never saw him again.
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