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Old 04-06-2005, 12:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Not Finishing Quick Enough??

Well.. It might not seem like a problem to most of you, and in the past it was never any concern with my ex's, but now that my SO finally has her sex drive back, we are having sex more often, and now we have another problem.

It takes her about oh... 3 min to cum during intercourse.. I always make sure she is taken care of before I finish. For me, I don't like it to end so quickly, and I'm pretty good about being able to hold back. When she cums, she gets so sensitive that we have to take a break or stop. Then, she's really not interested in intercourse, although she very much wants me to cum, and is completely dissatisfied if I donít. I know that after she cums, she's not so "into it" any more, and that makes me want to stop because it gets dry and I know it hurts her. Since I know how she feels, now I'm no longer interested and the mood it completely lost. Then she proceeds to get upset because she thinks that she isnít good enough for me, meanwhile she is by far the hottest girl I have ever been with, and I'm constantly telling her how much she turns me on. I dunno what I can do about cumming quicker, because when I try itís forced and then that makes it even worse and takes longer.

Anyone else have this? Whaddya think? Solutions?
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Old 04-06-2005, 02:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Umm..no offense, but I think she's selfish. Just like a man is selfish when he cums first and is "done." I think she needs to practice self control - just like men who ejaculate too soon have to do. If I feel on the verge of an orgasm long before my husband, I make every effort to curtail it until he is ready - or near ready - to cum. Cumming together is something we both absolutely LOVE to do, but it can take patience and practice in getting to know each other really well.

Don't work so hard in getting her off right away, either. What's wrong with teasing her for a bit, and then backing off until you are ready to cum?
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Old 04-06-2005, 02:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxSquirtxx
Umm..no offense, but I think she's selfish. Just like a man is selfish when he cums first and is "done." I think she needs to practice self control - just like men who ejaculate too soon have to do. If I feel on the verge of an orgasm long before my husband, I make every effort to curtail it until he is ready - or near ready - to cum. Cumming together is something we both absolutely LOVE to do, but it can take patience and practice in getting to know each other really well.

Don't work so hard in getting her off right away, either. What's wrong with teasing her for a bit, and then backing off until you are ready to cum?
I'm glad someone else thinks so... 75% of the time I'm good for round 2 anyway.. so it's not like she can never get hers...
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Old 04-06-2005, 03:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Offer for her to finish you with her mouth. If her desire really is for you to come, this will be a perfectly good solution (offer to wash first in case she doesn't like how she tastes).

If there's something else going on, though, like selfishness or some sense of propriety, she will refuse this suggestion. In that case you'll ned to find another solution, depending on what her real motivations are. Maybe you can try using lube to fix the dryness problem, or you can give her a longer break during which she can keep you ready with her hands (not exactly a triathlon, don't let her say she's too sleepy). Or, try different positions and find one you like better than she does so the scheduling works out better.
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Old 04-06-2005, 04:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acetylene
Offer for her to finish you with her mouth. If her desire really is for you to come, this will be a perfectly good solution (offer to wash first in case she doesn't like how she tastes).

If there's something else going on, though, like selfishness or some sense of propriety, she will refuse this suggestion. In that case you'll ned to find another solution, depending on what her real motivations are. Maybe you can try using lube to fix the dryness problem, or you can give her a longer break during which she can keep you ready with her hands (not exactly a triathlon, don't let her say she's too sleepy). Or, try different positions and find one you like better than she does so the scheduling works out better.
Finishing with the mouth is a good idea, but yes I'd have to wash first... Tried the lube, it only fixes half the problem, with the lube, shs is still not "into it" We shall see what happens..
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Old 04-06-2005, 05:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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There's more than one way to make a man cum. She's got hands and a mouth, if she wants you to come than she will make you cum.
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Old 04-06-2005, 05:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tres
Finishing with the mouth is a good idea, but yes I'd have to wash first....
Well, that's just no fun!
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Old 04-06-2005, 05:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Whichever one of us finishes first always makes sure the other one is satisfied. I understand being sensitive after an orgasm - sometimes it's downright painful - but when that happens I'll let ratbastid finish with a handjob or a titfuck or something. And if I haven't gotten off by the time ratbastid has finished, we have fun with toys and fingers. It's just good manners
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Old 04-06-2005, 05:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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What are you two doing to get her off so fast?
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Old 04-06-2005, 06:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I sometimes have a problem with chaffing...and we use TONS of lube...but I can usually stave off an orgasm until he's ready. He can usually go pretty quick, but he likes to go for a while.
Try to figure out what you're doing right, and then stop.
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Old 04-06-2005, 07:20 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Anal!

Seriously though, what about her getting you off for a while before you make her come?
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Old 04-06-2005, 08:16 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I'm very impressed that she gets off in three minutes - I wish I could every once in a while get my girlfriend off that fast. I'm not too sure what to offer in advice, but perhaps instead of just making sure you get her off quickly, spend a while teasing her - make it a good 20 to 30 minutes if you can, of just having sex and teasing her, never letting her get off.

That's assuming that it's a "once she gets off, she gets very tender" thing as opposed to a "after three minutes, she gets very tender" type of thing.
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Old 04-07-2005, 03:00 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
What are you two doing to get her off so fast?
Not like I'm trying.. I guess I shouldn't complain about this part....

Quote:
spend a while teasing her - make it a good 20 to 30 minutes if you can, of just having sex and teasing her, never letting her get off.
This is what I wish... when I go down on her, she gets so turned on, and when I tease her she gets mad that I won't just "fuck her already"
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Old 04-07-2005, 08:26 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tres
Well.. It might not seem like a problem to most of you, and in the past it was never any concern with my ex's, but now that my SO finally has her sex drive back, we are having sex more often, and now we have another problem.

It takes her about oh... 3 min to cum during intercourse.. I always make sure she is taken care of before I finish. For me, I don't like it to end so quickly, and I'm pretty good about being able to hold back. When she cums, she gets so sensitive that we have to take a break or stop.

Anyone else have this? Whaddya think? Solutions?
Theres a very easy solution to this. Don't make her cum so fast. If she's vocal in the slightest, when you sense her orgasm is near then SLOW DOWN, do anything short of actually stopping outright, to prevent her orgasm.
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:20 AM   #15 (permalink)
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My wife gets off very quickly as well... she's very much a wham bam thank you sir type (this has its ups and downs).

That said, she has never left me in the luch.

Occassionally, she does get dry after a few orgasms and we've found that keeping some lubricant handy is a good thing. In fact, I find that once I've splashed on a little lube I can get off in no time at all.

The other thing you can do is have her do more foreplay. Have her get you closer to the brink so when you do proceed with intercourse, it won't take you as long to get off...
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Old 04-07-2005, 06:06 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I can totally understand not liking to be teased, or artificially prolonged. If my partner misses a beat the first time around, it often ruins my orgasm for the entire session. Once recently my housemate slammed a door to tell me to shut up right before I came, and boy did that kill it for the night. I personally would not recommend teasing her or bringing her close and then not allowing her to come.

It's a better solution to do things that feel better to you than to her, but are still fun. That's hard to explain... I guess, like, let's say she doesn't like being on top. Have her start that way, then "reward" her by making her come when you are almost ready. Or, do a position that is more emotionally intimate than physically for her, like missionary face-to-face, which usually is not so good at making girls come; then, when you are close, switch to something she likes better. If you do it right, you can both come at the same time--that is SWEET and she will appreciate the extra effort.
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:14 PM   #17 (permalink)
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oh, oh, oh! Flash of inspiration...
So, how about you give her oral sex to orgasm, wait a few minutes (maybe she can reciprocate) for the sensitivity to subside, then have sex! Or does the sensitivity last for a long time?
If I get off really quick I can usually get back to intercourse in just a little while. About the time it takes to change positions.
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Old 04-08-2005, 01:04 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Ahhh...you should donate your s/o to science in the effort to build a better orgasm. As far as her not letting you get yours, flip the gender table and don't put out! Of course, you're a guy, so good luck implementing this plan.
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Old 04-08-2005, 02:20 AM   #19 (permalink)
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"When I go down on her, she gets so turned on, and when I tease her she gets mad that I won't just "fuck her already""

Ain't life a hoot. Your problem woman is my fantasy. Personally, I'm with Dougiefresh-- your gal should be donated to medical science and then put in a museum.
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Old 04-08-2005, 03:08 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Ahhh...you should donate your s/o to science in the effort to build a better orgasm. As far as her not letting you get yours, flip the gender table and don't put out! Of course, you're a guy, so good luck implementing this plan.
Yeah right... This plan always starts out well...In my head..... but never makes it past the other head......

I thought girls were supposed to be multi-orgasmic and able to go more than one time like a guy...::sigh:: Can't try any of this methods this week
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Old 04-08-2005, 06:50 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
My wife gets off very quickly as well... she's very much a wham bam thank you sir type (this has its ups and downs).
I'm super-orgasmic, so after a while I a) get really sensitive, b) lose my lubrication, and c) get bored. My current lover's ex liked him to go for HOURS and I had to break his zen master training by informing him I really didn't need more than say...15 minutes of thrusting at a time, and even that might be pushing it.

There have, however, been times where I was clearly done and he was not...but I have never left him in the lurch. Trust me, I was tempted...but I can't say no to his big brown eyes. And now I have the perfect solution--if he's taking too long I just suck him off. In no time at all he's as happy as I am...in fact, maybe happier, as he loves the oral.

I think this is one of those things, tres, where communication is key. You guys need to talk this out OUTSIDE the bedroom and brainstorm solutions for your problem. That's what we did, and it's worked for us--I know now that sometimes I'm going to have to put up with a few extra minutes of stimulation and/or switch it up a bit. Of course I've also learned techniques that make him come faster. Kegel exercises, my friends, can prove to be the ultimate tool in trying to get a guy off quickly.
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Old 04-08-2005, 09:51 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Kegel exercises, my friends, can prove to be the ultimate tool in trying to get a guy off quickly.
Oh my god, yes. onesnowyowl, I bow down before you, my girlfriend, and any other woman that can pull this off. The feeling is amazing, and it does do the trick quite nicely.
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Old 04-08-2005, 10:27 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Never heard of a case of the woman finishing before the man. My wife takes eons herself, so this is new to me. Well, I learn something new every day. . . . .

In any case, communication is the key to thingsw like this, as most people have pointed out.
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Old 04-08-2005, 10:31 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tres
Well.. It might not seem like a problem to most of you, and in the past it was never any concern with my ex's, but now that my SO finally has her sex drive back, we are having sex more often, and now we have another problem.

...

Anyone else have this? Whaddya think? Solutions?
Interesting. You're right that this is slightly less the average, but it is far from rare. I can't give you a specific statistic, but if I had to guess I'd say that 1 of 6 or 7 women orgasm much faster than men. I happened to marry one.

My beautiful, talented, perfect, etc. wife lasted about 3 minutes or so on our wedding night. Imagine my surprise. I put my tux back on and went back to my house to get lubrications of sorts. The warming lubes helped us a bit. The second time she lasted much longer, but it had been only 45 minutes since we had finished. Her second came after maybe 15 or 20 minutes of going, followed by me at around 34 (if memory serves me correctly). I found out later that a lot of it simply was a combination of her being really excited, and her not being accustomed to me. After a few months (straight ), she was able to enjoy 45 minutes average per session. Now, she and I can go almost indefinatally, with the assistance of some lube.

We recently tried something called the slightest touch machine. Small box about the size of a deck of cards and attaches to the ankle by electrodes. Sounds kinky, no? Whell it sends small electrical signals along the nerves up to that special area. Aparently, the electirical signal mimics the electrical signals the body uses to communicate sexual arousal to a woman's pelvic region. I thought it was hogwash, but I'm usualyl up for anything. We bought it, my wife drank this electrolite water from the health food store (it has something to do with the transfering of the pulsing throught the body) and we strapped them on. Nothing happened. Then she jumped my bones and she stayed aroused for so long she had to go get some water. I don't remember sleeping that night. I finished something like 3 times, which is unheard of as far as my usual experience.

If you want to try and desensitize her (which is something you might regret later, but what the heck), you might try a powerful sex tool. Vibrators can get pretty rough. One of my ex girlfirends had a sybian and swore on it (as opposed to by it...pun...nevermind). That thing sounded like a 120 hp electric mower, but it got the job done a lot.

I think that your best bet would be lubrication. Sex for only 3 minutes sucks.
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