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Old 07-29-2005, 05:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Opinions on Guys Making the first move.

Its been my experience that most of the time whenever two people are in the begining of a relationship its the guy that "Crosses the line" first. At least thats always how it has been with me.

And by crosses the line, i dont mean they do something offensive, its just they are the first to try something or move on to the next level.

Like for me, I have always been the one to first lean in for a kiss, or slide my hand under the shirt, etc.

What have your experences been in this regarde. Im not mad that i have to do this, its just i think it would be nice for a change to have the girl inniate some of this stuff.
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Old 07-29-2005, 05:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hmm. My ex was the one to kiss me. Although technically, I was smooth about it beforehand and asked for "a kiss for good luck."

As for the hand under the shirt, that was me. But after a while, when we were making out, her hand would find mine, and it would raise it from her tummy to a higher region.
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Old 07-29-2005, 05:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I've been kissed first a couple of times. I've had a girl beat me to the nether reagions (I like the sound of that, behold my nether region! tremble in terror! )...anyhoo.

Yah chicks usually want guys to make all the moves, from asking them out to sexual shenanigans. Damn lazy women. I swear if the "fairer" sex doesn't shape up I am converting
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Old 07-29-2005, 09:14 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm sick of being the one making the first moves. Girls need to be more proactive.
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Old 07-29-2005, 11:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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The younger generation is generally alot more proactive.
The girls I go for 18-20 year olds are most of the time as likely as me to make the first move.
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Old 07-30-2005, 02:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'd like to know where you're getting those girls...
I've always had to make the first move, wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so shy
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Old 07-30-2005, 05:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Depends on the level of intoxication of both parties. Sober, I'd tend to agree that men generally do (and have to) make the first move. Under the influence of ethyl alcohol, it seems to move towards 50/50. I've had a few girls make the first move, from "hey, how yoouuuu doin..." to random "Kiss Me I'm Irish" days, depending on the level of alcohol present.
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Old 07-30-2005, 06:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr66
I'd like to know where you're getting those girls...
I've always had to make the first move, wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so shy
I get girls coming up to me and chatting me up all the time...i assumed it was commonplace.
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Maybe the girls who are not making the first moves have already read He's Just Not That Into You. I just finished reading the book and it says that women should not ask the guy out first, but let him come to her. Some of the advice in the book is really good, but I don't know if I agree with waiting for some guy to ask me out. Most of the time the guy has no idea a girl is even interested in him..so why waste time waiting for him?
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Old 07-30-2005, 06:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Everyone assumes just because the man starts the true "actions" that the woman just sits there and waits for it to happen.

Go out to a party and actually watch, the women know within 30seconds who they like and who they dont. THEY make the decision long before the man approaches. She'll give tons of non-verbal cues to let them know who she's interested in. While the exception of the case where she simply didnt see him does take place, this is very rare.

The WOMAN makes the first move by simply looking longer at a man she likes. She just waits for him to come over because lets face it... with a hot girl there's another dozen or so guys that are waiting to talk to her, why does she need to go to you?
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Old 07-30-2005, 06:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Man. Same thing happens here.
Hell! I remember the first girl I dated, she was waaay more experienced than me, and older, and STILL, I was the first to kiss her, it was even my first kiss. I was kinda tricked, too though.
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Old 07-30-2005, 07:00 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaver
Everyone assumes just because the man starts the true "actions" that the woman just sits there and waits for it to happen.

Go out to a party and actually watch, the women know within 30seconds who they like and who they dont. THEY make the decision long before the man approaches. She'll give tons of non-verbal cues to let them know who she's interested in. While the exception of the case where she simply didnt see him does take place, this is very rare.

The WOMAN makes the first move by simply looking longer at a man she likes. She just waits for him to come over because lets face it... with a hot girl there's another dozen or so guys that are waiting to talk to her, why does she need to go to you?
I disagree, because every woman is advertising. Advertisement isn't a move. Women can advertise, but they can't choose who comes to them. They can encourage, but ultimately, they can only choose from the approachers.

A man's attractiveness is based primarily on his actions; women, on their looks.

When you make the first move, it shows you are unafraid to get what you want, even if you fail.
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Old 07-31-2005, 12:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice
Maybe the girls who are not making the first moves have already read He's Just Not That Into You. I just finished reading the book and it says that women should not ask the guy out first, but let him come to her. Some of the advice in the book is really good, but I don't know if I agree with waiting for some guy to ask me out. Most of the time the guy has no idea a girl is even interested in him..so why waste time waiting for him?
That single piece of advice you just quoted from the book is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Ever.

Seaver: dropping clues and vague signals is not making a move of any sort. It takes no effort or concentration to do shit like that. If it's going to be considered a move, I'm going to refer to physics to back me up: in order to have movement, force must be applied. When a force is applied, work occurs. Therefore, in order to be "making a the first move", the person in question must be doing work and putting effort into it.
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Last edited by Suave; 07-31-2005 at 12:42 AM..
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Old 07-31-2005, 01:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Ahhh, sweet memories. The first gal I was with was very forward and a good flirt. She made the first move. And since I was very quiet as a kid, this helped.
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Old 07-31-2005, 08:46 AM   #15 (permalink)
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i usually initiate things..with bobillydylan i pounced on him when he didnt expectit..and i did all the running in the last relationship aswell...it is a turn off to me sometimes if a guy makes the first move!Lol

same with me with women..if i know someone wants me i tend to want them less...idiocy i am learning!
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Old 08-03-2005, 08:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by festered
i usually initiate things..with bobillydylan i pounced on him when he didnt expectit..and i did all the running in the last relationship aswell...it is a turn off to me sometimes if a guy makes the first move!Lol

same with me with women..if i know someone wants me i tend to want them less...idiocy i am learning!
You sure did we where just good friends then you pounced, but i was ready and willing! the spark was there then you ignited it wow your something else
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Old 08-03-2005, 09:21 AM   #17 (permalink)
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lol then yu pissed on it:-p
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Old 08-03-2005, 09:49 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by festered
lol then yu pissed on it:-p
thanks i suppose i deserve that! sorry for pissing all over the place im trying to clear up the mess ive made
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Old 08-05-2005, 05:25 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JinnKai
Depends on the level of intoxication of both parties. Sober, I'd tend to agree that men generally do (and have to) make the first move. Under the influence of ethyl alcohol, it seems to move towards 50/50. I've had a few girls make the first move, from "hey, how yoouuuu doin..." to random "Kiss Me I'm Irish" days, depending on the level of alcohol present.
I agree. No booze I make the first move. (which I hate, by the way.) Thats why I always try to get alcohol involved. It just makes it easier on me.

Its not that I want to get her drunk, like shitfaced, but drunk enough to make the move.
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Old 08-05-2005, 02:50 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Males have a penis. When we get excited it gets hard. We need to make it soft again so we can walk upright and return blood to our brains.

We are always gonna start it. We can't help it. Just blow us and get it over with.
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Old 08-07-2005, 02:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
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If he doesn't make the first move, I don't want him.

I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be doted over, pined after, and fantasized about. Initiate the conversation, or forget about it.
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Old 08-07-2005, 04:08 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Initiate the conversation, or forget about it.
How's this for a conversation starter for Pinkie: So.. what kind of plantain would you recommend?
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Old 08-07-2005, 04:22 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I like to make the first move. But if a guy beats me to the punch, more power to him.
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Old 08-08-2005, 01:01 AM   #24 (permalink)
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now that I think about it, the kind of gal I'd be interested in may not make the first move...
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Old 08-10-2005, 08:23 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Reminds me of my last relationship. Somehow this topic came up and I said that I wasn't going to make the first move. Then she said that not only is she not going to make the first move, but it was my job to make the first move. I said, "Then I guess 'We' are over." and we broke up.
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Old 08-10-2005, 08:26 PM   #26 (permalink)
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My wife crossed the line first. It obviously worked.
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Old 08-10-2005, 09:15 PM   #27 (permalink)
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i didn't make the first moves, because i really didn't know what i was doing.
i was a prime exmaply of extra virgin olive oil [and when i say "was"... i mean several months ago].

but now... i enjoy making the first moves, to a point.
im a girl. i like to be taken care of.

scratch that... i LOVE to be taken care of sexually. of course the same goes for guys, in most cases.
but i'm not going to deny the fact that lately [aka: the past couple months], i may not have necasserily been making the first moves... but i've been doing most of the work.

and when you're not getting anything in return... it's QUITE the let down, as i'm sure most have felt.
therefore, i'm not really in the mood quite so much to make any first moves, because i can't help but thinking "Well... is this going to be one sided again? Just like last time?"
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Old 08-10-2005, 09:35 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I think that men are conditioned to make more "first moves" than women are. I'm not sure whether that is genetic or from socialization.

The only problem with that mindset is that women who send signals that they wish to be pursued may not have men understand them. IMO, it's better to come out and say what you want... less chance of misinterpetation when you say exactly what you want. Shouldn't people be proactive about what they want?

I know of women who have missed out on relationships because they waited for a man to do something and the man didn't figure out he had a greenlight.
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Old 08-11-2005, 11:31 AM   #29 (permalink)
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it was actually my ex who would make her moves on me. i think it depends the people and personalities. i'm kinda held back and a lot more shy than she is.
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Old 08-11-2005, 06:31 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Encouraging an approach IS making the first move...

Smiles, long looks, swishing of hair, body positioning, posture, sucking in the tummy, pretending to be "of interest" to other competition in the room... all of these are examples of a woman "doing" something to invite a chosen male. Hence...seems to me that women often initiate...

I agree with the comment regarding mens attraction being physical and womens being presence...

Doesnt it seem like that, in nature, the male is normally the smaller percent of the herd/flock/group? In that case, the females have to WORK to draw attention to themselves. Just natural that it follows that many women like to draw mens attention with the intent ...leading to pursuit? Generally speaking, I prefer natures methods.

LOL...after saying that... I will confess. I made the first move on my "to be" husband and literally DRUG his shy ass to bed the first time!!!

To each his own.
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Old 08-11-2005, 07:15 PM   #31 (permalink)
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I think its sad that people feel the need to get alcohol involved before being able to "make the first move".

i am one of them and i like to blame society ^_^.
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Old 08-12-2005, 07:39 AM   #32 (permalink)
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I like the feeling of being desired, pursued - so I really like my man to make the first move. After the first move though - rwoar!
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Old 08-12-2005, 12:09 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toaster126
I know of women who have missed out on relationships because they waited for a man to do something and the man didn't figure out he had a greenlight.
Why would a woman want to be with someone who can't read her signals? It's evolution, how can a man who can't read a woman's signals, read the signals of anyone else?
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Old 08-12-2005, 12:21 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I like it when they make a move, but I really enjoy making the first move too. With Quadro, it was definitely me. And he didn't mind at all.

It's changing... but listen, it takes some balls to make the first move. It's hard on males to do that, it leaves you so vulnerable. What makes you think women are interested in experiencing that vulnerability and possible rejection? We have the sexual power most of the time, and most of us enjoy that!

Ah... memories...
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Old 08-13-2005, 12:06 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkie
I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be doted over, pined after, and fantasized about.
No you're not.

I hope that was in humour because it sounds like you need a reality check.
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:50 AM   #36 (permalink)
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For me a my SO it was:

First base: me
Second base: me
Third base: her
All the way: her (she told me she was ready, although I was willing before that)
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Old 08-17-2005, 08:39 AM   #37 (permalink)
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With gfs before my wife I always did, I just assumed it was what a guy was supposed to do. Wife jumped me on our 2nd date. Wow what a rush. Yeah I like a take charge woman...
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Old 08-17-2005, 09:00 AM   #38 (permalink)
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I think that most women make the first move but it is psychological in nature. Many guys don't clue in on it and can do nothing about it. The "move" that you are discussing here is physical in nature -kissing, touching, hand holding etc. Her "move" is psychological -smiling, laughing at dumb jokes, and generally inviting.

Once you learn to clue in to her invitations -then you won't be so "shy".

BTW. Some invitations are not so subtle and we dumb guys still don't get it. In one case I was invited over to a girls house after talking at a bar with her and her girlfriend for hours. They lived together and she was giving me positive signs such as rubbing my leg. (They were a couple). It was one am and they were inviting me to their pad. Stupid, stupid me was like -"I've got to work early tomorrow". It never crossed my mind until my friend who was hanging nearby said something.
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