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69. tons of fun? or a waste of good oral sex?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mixedmedia, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. mixedmedia

    mixedmedia ...

    I'll finally just say it. I hate 69.

    Maybe hate is a strong word, perhaps it is more accurate to say that I find 69 to be inefficient and calculated.

    I love oral sex. I love giving it. I love receiving it. But both at the same time? Meh. It just feels...to me...kind of stupid. I can't give my full attention to either act and I feel vaguely like I am hovering over a bed of nails trying to give pleasure and receive it at the same time. ('Cause, you know, you can't exactly heave the entire weight of your body on top of your partner unless, perhaps, you weigh 90 lbs. or something.) So I have to hover there, over my lover, bobbing and thrusting while denying the force of gravity. (This is why, if anything, I prefer to be on the bottom for 69.)

    It's not really conducive to passion...not for me. In fact, when I am 'in the zone' and enjoying the transaction of pleasure with a lover, the words 'get on top of me' or 'let's 69' tend to introduce a plateau effect rather than a heightening of sexual ecstasy. All of a sudden I can hear the leaf blower outside again and thoughts about what I have to do that day start to intrude on my consciousness. Not that I can't recoup pretty easily and finish up with some fabulous day-glo orgasms with or without the disruption...just that I'd rather without. I have to be honest.

    I'm sorry to pay disrespect to one of the classics. I know a lot of people enjoy it. In fact, every lover I've ever had has seemed to enjoy the act very much. Including my last (past) lover who requested it virtually every time we got together. I am guessing that there is a tone or ambience created by 69 that transcends the mechanics of the act itself, but I just don't feel it. Never have. I'd much rather do a solo blowjob on my knees or have my face straddled than engage in le soixante-neuf.

    Is it just me?
    If you love 69, tell me why.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus

    Frankfurt, Germany
    Love 69. As a guy, and with us being very visual sexual beings, I can't really get distracted from receiving an awesome-feeling blowjob with the enormously sexy view I get of her behind. Turns me on a hell-of-a-lot and aids the orgasm very much.

    Gotta say, though... maybe my opinion of 69 would be different, if A) I wasn't an Ass-man and B) she didn't weigh 46kg (me weighing 97kg).
  3. Avestruz

    Avestruz Vertical

    It's not just you. I've never had, er, dealings with a guy who didn't like it either, which is a shame for them. I guess it is like you say, that it's the tone of the act that gets them going rather than the actual physical stuff you're doing.

    I find it quite difficult to focus on either aspect, but usually I'll just put the receiving part out of mind as far as possible without suffocating the poor chap, and then just put everything I can into the giving. Since giving him oral is all for him then I guess the 69 can be too. It's basically just like an awkward variant of it.

    I've never tried a 69 with myself on the bottom but getting my mouth banged isn't my idea of a good time. Guys have tended to get carried away in the moment when I give oral from underneath them, and usually need to be reminded not to pound my face. :rolleyes:
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    I don't love it, I don't hate it. It's one of those things that mixes stuff up on occasion, but isn't part of the regular repertoire. There is something about it that is appealing in some ways, but I generally agree with your statement that it's tough to both give and receive fully in that state.

    I guess I would sum it up by saying it falls short of being a sum of it's parts. ;)
    • Like Like x 3
  5. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus

    Frankfurt, Germany
    Whatchu talkin' bout? Face-pounding is, like, the funnest thing... ever.
  6. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    pasco county
    sounds like it's a matter of taste (no pun intended...)

    for me, it does seem to take away from the 'whole' of the situation...

    i'm with mm; i prefer either giving or receiving for the reasons she has stated, but not both at the same time...
  7. Alistair Eurotrash

    Reading, UK
    I've not really thought about it but, yes, what you say resonates. I think it can be a fun thing to mix things up occasionally, but I'd rather focus on one or the other usually (and, in doing so, take my time).
  8. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    I have to say that I agree, mostly. Receiving tends to distract from giving, and vice-versa. I'm kind of small, and I've never done 69 being on the bottom, and don't think I would want to. It would be too... I don't know... claustrophobic, maybe.
    And when giving oral, I really like to involve my breasts, which in 69 position, is almost impossible.

    Yes! Very well put. Soixante-neuf is definitely "...one of the classics..." and kind of like Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, it's good to have in the repertoire, but do you want it in every single program? Not me.

    Absolutely. It seems like it should be more than it really is. The act seems to envision such.. liberte' egalite' fraternite'.... In practice, non.

  9. Zen

    Zen Very Tilted

    To misquote you, Phil ... "De lustibus groaning in tandem" :D

    MM - I have liked it, and here's why.

    69 is, for me, a conversation in the language of pleasure, where mutual questions, understandings, and conclusions 'within' the pleasure - whether they be leadings, followings or simultaneous choices - are more to the point than the giving or receiving 'of' it.

    Without getting graphic, it's like a long, improvised duet, as can be kissing - like when tongues may swirl awhile and mutually urge transition to a phase of micro tip-taps, until two souls melt into a universe populated with two taste-buds and one consciousness; then re-emerge, exploding into a legion of tumbling sense that rollercoasts our teeth.

    Though not always. Sometimes it's like: do unto me what you'd like done unto you, and I'll do it and .. by the way, I'll add ... THIS that I like done unto me and ... HAH ... you've done it back to me and ... contact! We're communicating and OHH you just did this out of the blue and OK I'll do it too and goodness gracious (English expression of ecstasy) we're going wild, then catch breath and smile, etc. Recycle until cross-eyed.

    I scratch my head and wonder "Is it specifically the 69?" and realize, just now, "No - it is the intimacy of the reflective loop, which shares and explores, in seconds, propositions which would take minutes of talk-time." It could equally be that mutual infinitesimal holding-hand-dancing which can make shared enjoyment of a slow sunset hold off the twilight and make the moon wait.
    • Like Like x 4
  10. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    MM, are you into face sitting?
    Still very stimulating visual for your lover, and maybe he can wait for the reciprocation.
    You know, the old 68 with a twist........you blow me and I owe you one!
  11. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    The Windy City
    MM, I am totally with you on this. Sure, I've 69'ed plenty, and there are times when it's kind of fun, but mostly, I find it far too distracting, and less fun than either giving or receiving. Maybe I'm just not a great multitasker, I dunno. But if I'm getting head, I want to sit back and enjoy it. And if I'm going down on a woman, I want be completely focused on bringing her maximum pleasure. 69 is, as we say in Yiddish nisht a hier, nisht a hein ("It's neither here nor there,") and I find that when I try to do it, either the quality of my lingual work suffers, or I come too quickly, or both. No, one at a time is preferable for me, and I personally am always happy to give before I receive-- or even give and not receive, since that's my favorite part of sex.
  12. mixedmedia

    mixedmedia ...

    I must say, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that I am not alone in being somewhat underwhelmed by the act.

    And for those who are fans, thank you for sharing your, um, perspective...from which....things....seem so much more, um...clear. ;)

    Zen, I'm all about that. Kissing is, like, my favorite thing ever. I could hover around second base for hours, but 69 is not like kissing to me. I don't experience that same melting into the sheets kind of feeling. Whereas kissing, giving head, intercourse, etc. feel very natural, 69 feels forced and contrived.

    fflowley, I'm ok with the face sitting, yes, but it is somewhat similar in the 'defying gravity' department. I would much rather enjoy giving/receiving oral sex in a position that does not need attention to maintain.
  13. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    I'm not a fan, but I'll admit that one of the reasons I'm not a fan is because I also don't like receiving oral sex. I'd rather just focus on giving head. Receiving is a distraction that really doesn't work for me, and I get more pleasure out of giving head than I do from receiving it.
  14. CinnamonGirl

    CinnamonGirl The Cheat is GROUNDED!

    Nope, you're definitely not alone. I'm with the "I like to focus on one or the other" crowd. If I'm receiving, I will totally zero in on what his tongue is doing, and ignore everything else -- which pretty much defeats the purpose.

    And of course, with the giving, I want him totally focused on what MY tongue is doing.
  15. Frosstbyte

    Frosstbyte Winter is coming

    The North
    My girlfriend in high school LOVED to 69. I'm not sure if it was because she was a tiny little thing, so she didn't have to worry about the "defying gravity" issues some of you ladies have commented on or because she really liked how it felt or what. I know she didn't like sitting on my face as a generalized oral sex position, so I rather doubt the sensation of 69'ing was that thrilling. Maybe because we weren't having vaginal sex it was just the "most extreme" sex she thought she could convince me to engage in, as she was definitely the one who wanted more and I was the one saying no at the time.

    My wife and I have done it a few times, but I think in general I (and we) would agree with the general consensus here that 69 looks good in porno and sounds exciting, but is definitely less fun than it should be. So, I'm totally with you mm. I'd much rather get a good blowjob or be able to focus on giving her oral than try to mix the two. My wife is also a lot like Lindy, in that she really likes breast and nipple stimulation during oral (it's one of the few times she really likes it), which is basically impossible in a 69.
  16. issmmm

    issmmm Getting Tilted

    I've never been one for sexual acrobatics for the sake of the variation. There has to be a pay off. When I was young it was great. But methinks the greatness came from the fact that I was getting some at all.
    Now it is the art and pleasure of getting her off. Of course recieving is rather pleasureable as well.
    Noawadays 69 is like eating a great meal and dancing the night away. Both great, just not at the same time.
  17. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    I don't hate it but like many have noted, it is distracting.
    The only time we end up in a 69-like position is when we are switching up things during intercourse and we sometimes sort of pause for a quick bit of mutual oral. We never keep going very long before defaulting to one of us giving/one of us receiving and then continuing on to the next 'course'.
  18. BLU

    Blu New Member

    I'm definitely in agreement with preferring to concentrate on one or the other. 69 is ok for a bit of fun but that's about it.
  19. greywolf

    greywolf Slightly Tilted

    Can't say I'm a fan either. I enjoy it for about a minute or two at a time. It is wonderfully intimate to have your face buried between her thighs while she has you in her mouth, but trying to concentrate on her while she's got you there is difficult for me. I guess my multi-tasking skills aren't what they should be because I want one then the other (in either order). It's difficult to maintain a good rhythm and really enjoy both at the same time.

    As for the on top or on bottom aspect, I'm fairly heavy (not overweight), so I prefer to be on bottom so as not to put too much weight on my partner if I get too enthusiastic, even just for a blow job. And I've yet to have a partner who I didn't LOVE to have sitting on my face ;)
  20. And as you get older Greywolf, there is more chance of you suddenly kicking the bucket during strenuous exercise, so perhaps best stay on bottom as your weight may make you hard to dislodge.