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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

Page 12 of 67
  1. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    The Heineken Uncertainty Principle says "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night..."
     
    uncle phil, May 23, 2012
    #221
    • Like Like x 2
  2. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    When a travel agent was asked if faster-than-light flights were available, she said, "Yes, but tickets must be purchased at least three weeks in advance and a Saturday night stay is required..."
     
    uncle phil, May 24, 2012
    #222
    • Like Like x 1
  3. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 24, 2012
    #223
    • Like Like x 1
  4. MSD

    MSD Very Tilted

    Location:
    CT
    from XKCD, the Pauli Sexclusion Principle
    [​IMG]
    I take exception to this principle on the following grounds:
    -The s1 orbital can only hold 2, but you can bump that up to 3 or 4 if you include the s2 orbital
    --If you excite all involved, you can get as many as 6 into the p orbital until their additional energy is exhausted and all but 2 return to their ground state

    -While I prefer the second member of the s1 orbital to be of the opposite spin state, the proposed exclusion of members of the same spin state in the s1 orbital exhibits what I propose be called quantum homophobia
    Yes you can, but the more certain you are of the number of empty cans and bottles, the less certain you are of what you said and to whom.
     
    MSD, May 24, 2012
    #224
    • Like Like x 1
  5. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Please let me continue observing the 2 not exhausted and still in the excited state...
    They could be "p" stars. :cool:

    Although, I may only note their motion, not the position they are in...
     
    rogue49, May 24, 2012
    #225
  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Found this one for you recently, made me smile. :)
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 25, 2012
    #226
  7. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
    A: Quark, quark, quark!
     
    uncle phil, May 25, 2012
    #227
  8. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?

    A: "Gotta split!"
     
    uncle phil, May 26, 2012
    #228
  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Parents: Your room is a mess.

    Me: Actually according to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, the universe tends toward disorder so it's not really my fault...
     
    rogue49, May 26, 2012
    #229
  10. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    Anything that doesn't matter has no mass...
     
    uncle phil, May 27, 2012
    #230
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Happy Memorial Day
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 27, 2012
    #231
  12. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    According to Einstein's Theory of Relatives, the probability of in-laws visiting you is directly proportional to how much you feel like being left alone...
     
    uncle phil, May 28, 2012
    #232
    • Like Like x 1
  13. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Math test:
    A farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots.
    What is the probablity his mom's name is Leslie?

    History test:
    The american civil war ended in 1865.
    Explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs.

    Literature test:
    Explain what the author meant by, "The apple was as red as an apple."

    Physics test:
    The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts.
    Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity.
    Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
     
    rogue49, May 28, 2012
    #233
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 29, 2012
    #234
  15. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    There has been too much action in reaction to political scandals. Please write to your congressman to repeal Newton's third law...
     
    uncle phil, May 29, 2012
    #235
    • Like Like x 1
  16. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    Einstein's favorite limerick was:
    There was an old lady called Wright
    who could travel much faster than light.
    She departed one day
    in a relative way
    and returned on the previous night...
     
    uncle phil, May 30, 2012
    #236
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 30, 2012
    #237
  18. uncle phil

    uncle phil Moderator Emeritus (and sorely missed) Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    pasco county
    A student riding in a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited he asks, "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
     
    uncle phil, May 31, 2012
    #238
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
    rogue49, May 31, 2012
    #239
  20. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I like this one because it explains why rabbits are central to my life.
     
    genuinemommy, May 31, 2012
    #240
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