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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    Some geek Yo Mamas:
    Yo mama so fat that when I wrote code to calculate the size of her ass, it cause a stack overflow.
    Yo mama so fat she one twinkie away from a Schwarzchild radius.
    Yo mama so fat, she weigh herself on the Richter scale.
    Yo mama so fat that the probability gradient for the presence of her ass anywhere in the house is 1.

    / Yo Mama so fat, her patronus is a Cake.
    // Not really science, but....
     
  2. Eddie Getting Tilted

  3. Eddie Getting Tilted

    ^^my favorite part is at 3:00. When the cobra's venom knocks the honey badger out and then he gets back up. It's totally awesome. I wish my science classes in high school had videos like this.
     
  4. CaptainBob

    CaptainBob Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Kingston, eh?
  5. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    The Bartender says, "We don't serve subatomic particles here, so get out!"

    A neutrino goes into a bar.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Shadowex3

    Shadowex3 Very Tilted

  7. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
  8. CaptainBob

    CaptainBob Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Kingston, eh?
    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 3
  9. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    That would be funnier if it weren't true. I got interviewed once after winning a brewing contest, and the report got everything I said EXACTLY backwards.
     
  10. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Stolen from JREF:

    Very funny lecture
    http://fora.tv/2009/11/08/Science_La...an_Brian_Malow

    Schrödinger’s Cat walks in a bar....and it doesn't

    A neutrino walks in a bar and the bar man says we don't serve your kind here....it says...but I was just passing through.

    A virus walks in a bar and the barman says we don't serve your kind here....the virus takes over and says now we do.

    Two bacteria walk in a bar and the bar man says we do not serve your kind here...they say...but we work here...we're staff.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. highjinx

    highjinx "My phobia drowned while i was gettin' down."

    Location:
    venice beach
    it's more computer scienc-y but i saw one of those ecards yesterday that said...

    "i'm not saying your a slut, but if your vagina had a password it would be PASSWORD."

    that had me cracking up for quite awhile.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  12. ace0spades

    ace0spades Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Vancouver
    The only yo mamma joke I've ever gut laughed at:

    Yo mama is so fat that the escape velocity at her surface is greater than 3x10^8 m/s
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Freeload

    Freeload Getting Tilted Donor

    Location:
    Norway
  14. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    If your sexual tension is a Logarithm, then apply to the rhythm to the log and reduce the tension, is all I am saying. (Or stick it in someones asymptote).
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member Donor

    My husband told me this one:

    A mathematician and an engineer are put into a room with a beautiful woman on the other side. They are told that during a certain interval of time, they may move half the distance towards the woman. The mathematician gives up, saying, "I'll never get there!" The engineer shrugs and starts moving, saying "I'll get close enough, for all real world purposes."
     
    • Like Like x 6
  16. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Half the total distance twice is the total distance. I win ( have an engineering degree )
     
  17. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    And I suspect your arrows eventually reach the target too.
     
  18. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member Donor

    Maybe I should have been more clear. They could go half the distance, and then half the remaining distance, and half the remaining distance...

    So no, half the distance twice isn't what the joke is getting at.
     
  19. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Well 2 + 2 = 5 for significantly large values of 2
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. BadNick

    BadNick Getting Tilted

    Location:
    PA's on U SofA
    sort of a timely joke: <<<< hahahaahaaa that's funny, too

    A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, the priest says "We don't allow Higgs-Bosons in here!". The Higgs-Boson says "But without me, how can you have mass?"
     
    • Like Like x 3