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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    Man, that takes all the fun out it... :p
     
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    I'm hoping that Obama re-invests into NASA this term. :cool:
     
  3. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
  4. cis689

    cis689 Slightly Tilted

    Did you know photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2012
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    I like this. And I know what you meant. But the typos just derail something that could flow so easily and smoothly.:confused:
     
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  6. cis689

    cis689 Slightly Tilted

    M R Pigs
    --- merged: Nov 16, 2012 at 3:49 PM ---
    :)

    That is what I get for being on-call and getting one hour sleep. I can no longer form a complete sentence.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 23, 2012
  7. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Am I a complex carbohydrate because I am slowly breaking down??? :confused:
     
  8. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]

    **and Amateur Scientist is beyond Einstein...cue mad scientist laugh....Bwaaaahahahahahahahahh!!! :cool:
     
  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    Stud :cool:
     
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  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
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  12. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Song of the elements
    *sung to the tune of I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General of "The Pirates of Penzance."
    ** remember to breathe... :D

    There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
    And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium
    And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
    And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
    Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
    And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium
    And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium (inhale)
    And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

    There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium
    And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium
    And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
    And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium.

    There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium
    And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium
    And manganese and mercury, molybdinum, magnesium,
    Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium
    And lead, praseodymium, platinum, plutonium,
    Paladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
    Tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (inhale)
    And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

    There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium
    And also mendelevium, einsteinium and nobelium
    And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium
    And chlorine, cobalt, carbon, copper,
    Tungsten, tin and sodium.
     
  13. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. [​IMG]
     
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  16. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    We smell bad too... ;)
     
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  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    THE PHYSICISTS' BILL OF RIGHTS

    1. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.
    2. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e. whenever one can get away with it).
    3. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the addition of positive real integers.
    4. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical."
    5. To invoke the uncertainty principle when confronted by
      confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and other lower scientists.
    6. When pressed by non-physicists for an explanation of (4) to mumble in a sneering tone of voice something about physically naive mathematicians.
    7. To equate two sides of an equation which are dimensionally inconsistent,
      with a suitable comment to the effect of, "Well, we are interested in the order of magnitude anyway."
    8. To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.
    9. To invent fictitious forces to delude the general public.
    10. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.
    11. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.
    12. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to these arguments as proofs.
    13. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.
     
  18. Swap a few terms and you've described the typical religious fanatic.
     
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    If you're saying many scientists are like religious fanatics...then you'd be right.
    Why do you think it's so hard to get published sometimes? ...much less recognized.
    It's ironic...Funny, eh?

    [​IMG]
     
  20. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC